Beet Wizard

Doth thou even wiz, bro? Main: @beet-delinquent

[seabeck]

Green path

[lunar-pantheon]

i made a grindr and in under 24 hours i got the most insane unsolicited nude to ever exist. hes fully nude on the beach and in his right hand is a black tipped reef shark i could not make this shit up if i tried

[lunar-pantheon]

artistic rendition

i fucking wish i had a way to prove this but a) passing around nudes is wrong even when its a 40 year old nudist shark freak and b) he unsent the messages bc my silence made him nervous ig. wish he was instead nervous about sharks around his panenis but im not his dad

[lunar-pantheon]

btw another pic in the set he sent me was essentially the same photo but the shark was a fishing spear and his penis was erect this time. do you think he meant it as a metaphor thats kind of poignant symbolism

he looked almost regal in a florida man way

[lunar-pantheon]

actually fuck do you guys think i ghosted Poseidon on grindr be honest its hurricane season and im on the gulf i mean did you SEE what that guy did to odysseus

[glitchlight]

A migrating phoenix has stopped for a decadent sippy of water from a stagnant puddle in a Walmart parking lot and has ignited the years of accumulated fuel leaks into the surrounding pavement. It's so happy.

[voidthescribe]

I don’t even know what this is but I love it

[nimphelos]

my designs of the five wizards of middle-earth ✨

[streetlight-spam]

it’s monday i’m in the labyrinth

[streetlight-spam]

it’s tuesday i’m in the evil lab

[streetlight-spam]

it’s wednesday i’m in the time loop

[streetlight-spam]

it’s thursday i’m in the medieval torture apparatus

[streetlight-spam]

🌸it’s friday i’m in love🌸

[amilkyway]

I think about how hayao miyazaki said that love is two people inspiring each other to live. and to live doesn’t just mean to be alive. living involves finding beauty in the simple moments of being. so to inspire someone to be in awe of the simplicity of living? that’s special

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Bro why do you keep insisting we try to disarm this genderbending trap? We literally mapped out this whole dungeon floor we can just walk around it...

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Whoa watch it bud! If I hadn't caught you you would have fallen straight into that pit of tentacles! Good thing I stopped you when I did, huh?

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Oh man if I was just a few minutes late that vampire baroness would have hypnotized you and made you her thrall, good thing you can always count on me, ey? Cmon let's get going, the next round's on you

[fleshadept]

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Bro why do you keep insisting we try to disarm this genderbending trap? We literally mapped out this whole dungeon floor we can just walk around it...

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Whoa watch it bud! If I hadn't caught you you would have fallen straight into that pit of tentacles! Good thing I stopped you when I did, huh?

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Oh man if I was just a few minutes late that vampire baroness would have hypnotized you and made you her thrall, good thing you can always count on me, ey? Cmon let's get going, the next round's on you

[fleshadept]

[stitchthisfiona]

He sits on my lap while I spin, he does the little jiggle

[maxterian]

[azzandra]

In Romanian the verb "a toarce" means both "to purr" and "to spin wool".

[yva-deactivated20200503]

i made a quiz: which iconic fairytale lady are you?

there are 20 possible results, with characters both familiar and obscure: beauty from beauty and the beast, princess kaguya, snegurochka, cinderella, the nightingale from death and the nightingale, the little mermaid, sleeping beauty, baba yaga, the fairy godmother, the snow queen, thumbelina, the evil queen, little red riding hood, goldilocks, the goose girl, bluebeard’s bride, vasilisa the beautiful, rapunzel, and janet from tam lin.

please do reblog + tag with your results; thanks so much if you take it!

[tbpbsides]

this is an extremely good quiz

[saintgothicsoul]

[cookiescr]

Yknow the thing where red pandas just lay down on a branch and let their legs hang and they’re just like vibing

[cookiescr]

they’re just vibing yknow?

[dimpledgucci]

porcupines do this too :)

[callingallcars]

i have excellent news about the manul cat

[radwolf76]

Manul cat is an automatic reblog from me.

[lokeanrampant]

I am porcupine.

[krakensdottir]

Pretty much most cats that spend any time in trees, tbh

Honestly tho, in terms of lazy chill I don’t think anyone’s gonna beat this bear:

[floridensis]

look at this squirrel

by inaturalist user gregslak

[hyenafiend-deactivated20220214]

@rhythpo

[thequeenofsastiel]

And let’s not forget the time an entire pride of ten lions decided to take a nap in a single tree

Yes these photos are real

[wizardpostsdotorg]

DSM12:

-vape psychosis

-delusions of wizardry

-big sad rain cloud hanging over your head

-brain pneumonia

-female hysteria again

[cryptotheism]

When soup enters the body it's watery and fiery natures will begin to fight in the form of a great golden serpent and a great silver lion. Their battle will continue through the stomach to the gallbladder where the great golden serpent beheads the silver lion, calming the capricious gallbladder and causing a sensation of fullness and sexual proclivity. This is known as the "Boner of Venus" and it is lethal in all humans.

[rebeccathenaturalist]

A Vital Part of Your Body Will Continue to Live Years After You Die

Each human body contains a complex community of trillions of microorganisms that are important for your health while you're alive.

I'm working on clearing out some old tabs, and ran across this piece from last fall. The short version is that your gut microbiome and other microbes that accompany you in a series of symbiotic relationships throughout your lifetime persist even after you die. While you might assume that these bacteria and other little beings would perish along with you once you're no longer warm and living, it turns out that they shift gears upon your death, being part of the massive effort to return your remains en masse to the nutrient cycle.

There's honestly something rather poetic about that. Here you've spent a lifetime being the center of a holobiont--a sort of miniature, migratory ecosystem. And these many millions of life forms that you have given safe harbor to for thousands upon thousands of their generations are among the funerary vanguard caring for your remains after you're gone. They pour forth from their ancestral lands--the gut, the skin, and other discrete places--and spread out through even the most protected regions of your form.

And then, just as you constructed your body, molecule by molecule, from a lifetime of nutrients you consumed, so do these microbes go through the process of returning everything you borrowed back to the wider cycles of food and growth and life and death. The ancient halls where their ancestors lived in relative stability are now taken apart in the open air, and their descendants will disperse their inheritance into the soil and the water through the perpetual process of decomposition.

I've always wanted a green burial, and I find it comforting that when my remains are laid in the ground, they'll be accompanied by the tiny ecosystems I spent a lifetime tending, and who will return the favor by sending my molecules off in a billion new directions.

[regexkind]

I could strip the flesh from a cow in 30 seconds too just give me some 30% peroxide and some sulfuric acid. Piranhas are not special

[kwarrtz]

> tries to one up piranhas

> uses piranha solution

curious

[regexkind]

screaming and crying and throwing up because I just wanted to be a hater and I can't even do that right

[teaboot]

Okay this is extremely funny

[vulture-jack]

learning about plants in ur area is wild. like you also learn about the histories of the plants. Like oh! Thats garlic mustard! That was brought over from europe as a crop! it smells just like garlic and you can cook with it!  And thats yarrow!  Its been used for tons of stuff and pollinators love it! Oh hey! Thats hemlock! They killed Socrates with that! 

[gallusrostromegalus]

Botany is basically making millions of outdoor friends.

[great-and-small]

Walked past this guy on the side of a busy street in New York City and everyone’s casually brushing past it while I’m like 😳