Bekka

Detective Bekka Banes. 28 years old taking it a day at a time. Disclaimer: I am not a real detective. This blog is for role playing purposes only.

[bekka-banes]

[dimitri-carter]

It's All Just A Blur Again

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[bekka-banes]

The audacity. Dimitri thought of Rebekkah. “Of course not.” He assured her and was taken by surprise to find out Bekka lost the boys but poker faced it to not give Rebekkah Reason. He forced a smile. “We appreciate it. The boy’s couldn’t ask for a better Grandmother.” He looked at Bekka and shook his head half embarrassed she done that infront of her mother. “Thanks again they’ll visit all the time and facetime you know the drill enjoy you time.” He turned to Bekka and gave her wtf Bekka eyes because she didn’t tell him enough but he had no room to talk. “Lets get kiddos!” They loaded the boy’s into the suv which was quite the tiring task moving all the carseats from Rebekkahs car to thiers then getting the boys to calm down and sit still while they were all getting buckled in. “Lucy you have splaining to do.” He sighed at Bekka because she lost custody. “But it can wait. I’m not in the mood.” He shut the door to the vehicle. “What now?”

Bekka was so extremely relieved Dimitri let it go in front of her mother. It was still a struggle working the seatbelts around all the different ages of kiddos to make sure everything was secure but Bekk was glad Dim was there to do most the hard work. Bekka tried her best Lucy impression. “Glad it can wait cause I have plans!” She said  with excitement in her tone as she sat in the passenger seat. “Momma’s got tickets.” She said and held them up. “I wanna do it right this time,” She said knowing not every one got this second chance like she did when a loved one supposedly had died. Also, Bekka had turned him down  last minute early in their relationship  when Dimitri had tried to bring her on a date to attended this concert. “Whatya say Mr. Brightside?” Her bourbon hue eyes sparked just like they used to when she was younger and their relationship was new. 

[bekka-banes]

It's All Just A Blur Again

Dimitri rolled his eyes at Bekka. she was so clueless. “So bossy how dare he defend himself.” He said sarcastically.

“Hey gadgy! There’s daddy’s boy’s. You’re doing good thadd I’m proud of you bud.” Dimitri could see the role Thaddeus had sadly had to fall into and fill for not just his brothers but for his parents. Dimitri wished he could fix this for his son but knew all too well that wasn’t a possibility right now and that it was already ingrained in thad to think this way.

“Oh yeah we drew up the adoption papers yesterday did you not get the fax Rebekah we figured you wanted first dibs.” Dimitri joked.

“Hey Carl. yeah.” He sighed. “We’re coming ya know what we’re coming today we’ll see you all soon now ya hear okay bye bye we’ll be there in a few boy’s!” Dimitri cut the video chat off and sighed. “Lets go get our fucking kids.” He jumped up. “Thanks for all she’s done but i’m not letting her hold this over our heads ready or not here we come. Or you can stay here? No you can’t thats to many kids you have to come.” Dimitri booked a flight on his phone and they made it to the airport and into boston.

Dimitri knocked on the door thad running to open it. “Hey buddy!” He tussled thier sons hair. “You okay with this?” He asked their grandmother. “That’s a courteous question cause they’re coming home regardless.” He picked up Gadget.

‘Yo ma!” Ty came running to his mom.

“Should I be worried?” Rebekkah stepped close to do the grandma whisper. “Here. Don’t make me regret this.” She gave Dimitri the papers giving custody of all the boys back to Dimitri and Bekka. “Don’t fuck up this time because there will not be anymore second chances.” She said but her aim in tone was at her daughter Bekka. But it was going to hurt her to give the boys up since she had spent everyday with them she developed attachment. 

Crap! Bekka thought to herself. She hadn’t exactly told Dimitri about how she lost custody of the boys. Bekka hoped Dimitri would just go along with it and that he wouldn’t make a stink and prove to Rebekka they weren’t communicating as much as they should have been this last bit, while she watched the boys. “Capeesh!” She replied swiftly hoping to put an end to this conversation now. “Hey! there's my tyger man!” She picked Ty up. “Woah, he’s heavy!” She kissed her baby. Thadd ran over to Bekka and stood by her side and she picked him up. “Oh wow! Look, Dim both of them. No hands!” She laughed the boys were hanging onto their mother.

[bekka-banes]

“I’m A Little Too Late, You’re A Little Too Gone.”

Dimitri’s amount of overwhelm was unprocessed by even him. Dimitri wasn’t asked to hold atticus but even still he refused (not like they’d let a supposed dead and deranged looking man hold a 1 year old.) “I wanna tell you I will but I need time to tell myself first.” He said in a dull emotionally absent tone.” Elliot looked at Bekka unsure what was going on and if the police needed to be called. Ultimately Bekka came back to Virginia with Dimitri them leaving the boys with rebekkah for the time being. It was hard and some days Dimitri didn’t say anything At all but she did somehow manage to try to make up happy again and let there still be a them much to his surprise. He still felt unable to tell her much of anything other than it wasn’t his fault and to please believe him. He told her as much as it was Jane and she had killed tate as a cover up and that they were living in a house in the middle of nowhere handcuffed to the nearest bed or chair and that he tried to leave a lot of times but had no such luck yet he didn’t go into the nitty gritty details of these attempts like the sliced achellies tendon from the rigged gas petal or the whole chainsaw fiasco and the falling off the top of the house or even the buried alive and jane dying thing cause of his father. but rather that he escaped when she was taking him back to the carter home to kill him.nor did he mention anything of the cult or his daughter Lilith with Jane. He didn’t want to hide things but hadn’t figured the best way to get her to understand the magnitude of the situation and he didn’t want Gordonto investigate him cause knowing bekka she’d want justice but dimitri had already handled that himself oh and he didn’t tell her that he was married and widowed by now from Jane.

Bekka wasn't the happiest to be back in Virginia.

In a way Bekka treated the situation like he was a veteran with ptsd. (Only speaking of the trauma if he brought it up.) She didn't know how else to comprehended the ridiculous shit he told her and to think that there was anything more was just too overwhelming to process. Sometimes baby steps are best. It was foreign to be someone else's support system. Often just reaching out her oddly cold hand for him to take a hold or a piece of twizzler it was complicated. Bekka felt helpless most days but was forcing herself to make things easier even though they were mute at times.

Bekka halted all her research on the missing prostitutes' case to work on what was most important in front of her now. It was awkward sometimes and she wasn't the type to believe in energies until she experienced it like this. Was this what healing concealed wounds felt like or were they still bleeding? regardless she wanted to be with him.

"Do you think there's so many versions of us because the universe wont stop until it gets us right?" Her eyes drifted over at him as the lay in bed and she decided to break the silence and think out loud. Her fingers twists his longer chestnut locks.

It was almost fictional. Bekka, like Dimitri had been so many different versions of themselves. Bekka wasn't the same girl he met in the fire lane. Not the same girl that lost her dad. Not the same woman that became a mother to his children. Not the same lover that let a single rose wilt in her work locker. And not the same sober human she claimed to be on the 4th of July a few years ago. Different now but still suffering the consequences of her past self's fuck ups. But still knowing there would be more mistakes made as long as she was growing and taking steps forwards and hopefully not backwards like she had done in the past.

[bekka-banes]

It's All Just A Blur Again

"Yeah sure. I have to go get evaluated just to get reinstated anyway." Dimitri didn't know if he still wanted to be a detective or not but he really wasn't sure what else he would do or if three months really wasn't a long enough time to wait to come back after a year of being gone.

"Hey Buddy." He said and watched Thadd jump around. "Yeah wear yourself out it'll be easier for your grandma that way." Dimitri seen Ty shove thadd and dim sighed knowing they kids needed to be with him as soon as possible because Ty needed to be taught daily how to recognize pain from others and dangerous things that could hurt him. tho others could teach they would never comprehend how serious it was and just how clear and consistent they needed to be about it. "Hey Ty don't. You don't hit you don't shove you use your words." Ty got up in the camera and said hey Ma candy!?! like he seen hers and thought please could he get candy too.

"Where's gadgey, Thadd? is he okay?" Dimitri still hadn't gotten to be with atti and understandably didn't say much about that out of guilt and how strange it was to have a 1 year old with bekka that he barely knew.

"Really? you will!" She was shook he was going to go now. "Awesome!" she says casually not wanting to make it a big deal.

Bekka giggles, "Yah, baby candy! Hey Ma," Bekka shouted to her own mother. "Get Ty some candy! My boy is hungry." She smiled at Ty. "Mama loves you all times four!" She blew kisses and waves towards the screen.

Thadd stood up. "Ty! no! No push me!!!" He pointed his tiny finger at him.

"Oh wow, he's bossy! Huh?" She asked Dim.

"Daddd, let me get..." You see Thadd walk away into the background he was wearing slippers and it was odd for Bekka to see him act like such a little...man..? A few moments later Thadd brought Gadget and and Rebekkah brought Atticus over.

"Awe, there's my Gidgit!" Bekka laughs.

"Not Gidgit, mother." Thadd said, he rolled his eyes annoyed and overwhelmed.

"Oh well excuse me!" She smiled seeing little Atti. "I miss you all!" She missed holding them and they were really growing up super fast and Bekka wondered if she was missing too much but didn't want that to be true because it triggered her. Why was it that Rebekkah was now there for her children but not her own when Bekka was growing up.

"Ma, I'm pregnant..." Bekka said for kicks.

"Shut the hell up!" Her mother replied. Rebekkah had already prevented who knows how many other pregnancies when she forced her daughter on birth control after she overdosed and decided to chase her pills with vodka. Needless to say Rebekkah was still very upset with her daughter.

"Have we decided how things are going forwards?" Rebekkah asked Her daughter and Dimitri.

"Meh.." Bekka replied and looked clueless at Dimitri.

Carl walked in. "Are you guys coming back to get your sex? it everywhere!"

[bekka-banes]

It's All Just A Blur Again

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You think i'm living in the past? You don't think I'm trying? Well excuse my "Triggered" Ass but I can't pretend that all the crap we've gone through the last year and a half didn't happen i'm not that good an actor." He looked at her like wtf. "Whatever" he got up. "We're shit parents.

“You still didn’t acknowledge what I just said. So, how bout after my A.A meeting we go see MJ and you can get back into therapy...I’ll come with you.” She nods, “Eh, yeah we haven’t exactly been the best.” She agreed they were shit. 

Bekka held her phone displaying both of them. Ty and Thadd answered with Rebekkah watching them in the background. 

“Hi boyz! hi! Waz you guys waiting to hear from us?” She laughs/smiles wide at them. “Oh man! They really do look like you.”  she said looking at Dim in the view of her phone.  

“Daaad-dad!” Thadd grabbed the phone to himself away from Ty. “Watch! watch!” He said and jumped around like a wild kiddo that had been watching far too many hours of the Rush Hour films.

Bekka laughed out loud, “Not to bad. Maybe you could be a spy one day.” She said and finished her snickers. “Mama hears you Tyger.” She seen him shove Thadd. “Wow, he’s strong. He’s gotta be gettin that milk in and isn’t 2% he’s strong like mom.” She said trying to lighten Dims mood a little cause she didn’t want him to be a dick to the boys. 

[bekka-banes]

It’s All Just  A Blur Again

Dimitri breathed out lowly with a sigh. " "Was" is a past tense word for a reason. it's how things were not how they are or how they ever will be again. " Long story short never. " Oh yeah? I dont know what that's like." He sat on the edge of the bed. "What do you want me to do about it?

“Where is the line drawn between the past and the present cause right now I’m pretty confused.” She said and rolled out of bed and began putting on her clothes for the day. “I need you to want it too.” She said frustrated. “I’m going to recommend you listen to Chief, so you can come back to the force and do what you do best.” She she pulled a snickers bar from her nightstand and started eating it for breakfast. “You want to facetime the boys?” she said grabbing her phone to call them and her mother. “Man, this snickers is bussin’“ she nods.

[bekka-banes]

It’s All Just  A Blur Again

The last three months had been a blur, Bekka rolled over to face Dimitri in bed. His eyes were already open it appeared he hadn’t been sleeping yet again and was a bit startling to see someone staring into the abyss of their reality it was beginning to mimic a barrel of a gun.

When could things resume she thought to herself. Her own mind trying to forget the trauma to protect her. “When can it be the way it was?” Like before, before he vanished or ‘died’. Rebekkah had been continuously looking after the boys including the youngest Atti, so they could work on what was left of each other.

 “I’m so tired, Dim.” He wasn’t the same man she once knew, but they both had changed over this course of time in their lives. 

It was a similar situation of getting to know someone new again. Bekka was giving her best efforts to be patient but finding it difficult as she was somewhat of an impatient being and like always, her tolerance cut even shorter with Dimitri for whatever reason. 

[dimitri-carter]

“I’m A Little Too Late, You’re A Little Too Gone.”

[bekka-banes]

Elliot looked hard at Dimitri and noticed him from pictures and the uncanny resemblance to Thaddeus. He then seen the look on Bekka’s face and felt the need to over compensate to be happy and make Bekka also see this as a happy moment because he could she her conflict. “It is this time.” Elliot had no idea what as going on where Dead Dimitri had been and if this was a thing to be happy sad mad or scared about.

The look on Dimitri’s face was that of a wayward Lion returning home to find his throne had been over thrown without battle. but he dismissed it for the bigger picture for the time being because he had yet to evaluate where he and Bekka stood but from what it looked like it wasn’t the homecoming he’s wished for but more of the one he expected and even more than that dreaded. “Where the fuck are my boy’s?” He pushed past Bekka. “Thaddeus! Gadget! Ty! Daddy’s home!” He almost frantically in desperation almost if to just see if they were still alive like no one but he could sustain their life because of his  Called his children. He looked at Elliot. “Don’t leave on my account Fabio.”

Bekka glanced over at Elliot making an appearance. “You know who this is right?” She said to Elliot. Bekka wasn’t expecting Dimitri to push by her. “Wait...” She grabbed Dimitri’s hand.The first time touching him in over a year, and if she knew it were possible for them to touch again Bekka never imagined it would have firstly been like this. “Are you not going to explain where you’ve been this past year!?” He looked almost wild and Bekka wasn’t sure if he was in the right frame of mind to be around them or if this was some kind of evil sorcery. She stepped in front of Dim standing between him and Ty, but Thadd went around Bekka seeing his daddy and his face expressed confusion before he began to cry. “Dada!” Thadd exclaimed and Dimitri swooped him off his feet reuniting. 

“Elliot--you need to step out.” She needed to get down to the bottom of this and if Dimitri was anything like before he wouldn’t cooperate with the same sex around. Bekk held the door as Elliot walked out, she whispered,”Don’t go to far...I don’t know what going on....” She said and closed the door before slowly walking over to Dimitri. “I don’t know if this is a dream or a nightmare...” she said with confusion. Thadd was resting his head almost into a slumber upon Dimitri’s shoulder. “You have no idea what I’ve been through since--whatever happened, happened? What the hell happened?” she almost treated this like an integration.

[dimitri-carter]

“I’m A Little Too Late, You’re A Little Too Gone.”

[bekka-banes]

“Our son.” He said breathlessly seeing the new to him baby he and Bekka had made. “The last time I saw you was on a sonogram.” He smiled happy but sad. “No? why no.” He said so softly but also scared. His lips trembled when she touched him after him thinking they had touched for the last time and his waterline filled with tears that were both joyful and hurt yet she manged to make him smile because she remembered him and them. Who they were. “How did it end up like this?” He said wiping her tear away and tilting her chin up to look at him. “Daddy’s home.”

Bekka nods seeing him look at Atti. “Yes, yes out baby boy.” Bekka’s breath hitches into a trembling vocal sigh escaped her lips and her tears fell and she broke down at the sound of his voice being the other half of their lyrics. “I can’t-I can’t help but feel this is a dream. That I’m going to wake up in a sweat screaming like I always do...” She gulps. As a shirtless man hovered in the doorway behind her she looked over and up at Elliot. “Is this real life?” Was daddy really home for reals? She thought to herself cause this was giving her anxiety. 

[dimitri-carter]

“I’m A Little Too Late, You’re A Little Too Gone.”

Dimitri finally after all this time he did make it he was free and honestly it hadn’t hit him and he was operating on sheer autopilot to make it through this as he was more unstable than he even knew. He looked at the place where Bekka lived now and shook with literal fear about what she could do to him. He took a shaky deep breath he knew how she could be and this could go 10000 different ways and he was expecting the worst. He left Lilith in the car and stood on the front steps and knocked on the door and his heart was beating so much you could see it through his shirt after all he even had a baby in there that he hadn’t even met yet. When the door opened and it was his bae he looked scared but she also looked beautiful and it felt not real and he honestly wasn’t sure if it was. He held up a tacobell bag full of Bekka’s favorites because he was corny and said. “Sorry I’m late, Bek.” He waited for how she would react and maybe since he had food she’d let him in.

[bekka-banes]

Bekka was holding Atti when she opened the door, “Guess who’s one year old today!?” She said and looked up expecting Carl and her mom. Her face froze in that smile as her eyes met his for the first time in a year and she didn’t even realize she wasn’t breathing now, as her eyes and brows expressed such sadness the corners of her mouth turned down.  “No.” She closed her eyes tightly and clinched her free hand. Bekka exhaled deeply and slightly opened her eyes seeing this wasn’t working this time. “Not real!” She said reaching her hand into the taco bell bag he was holding and felt the heat from the warm hard shelled taco she crushed the taco and tossed it behind her to which Ty found and was eating now.  “Oh boy!” Her eyes widened this was one of those crazy dreams.  “Wake up!” She said to herself. Inching her free hand in on his face tracing the details that made him, him. His characteristics so unique she touched him just like she used to. Bekka took a deep breath, he felt real. “ It started out with a kiss....” She muttered a lyric from their song and looked to the floor with tears falling from her eyes waiting to wake up. 

[bekka-banes]

[bekka-banes]

Call Me When You’re Sober

[bekka-banes]

“Right.” He said with a laugh she was charming in a weird way. “They were entertaining me to be honest they were as excited to find me as an egg on Easter.” He seemed intrigued. “Detective, I’ve never heard that one before it’s a little intimidating.” He smiled. “In a good way.” He said with a laugh. “I’m Elliot Sir smooth apparently.” He joked. “Only if you let me buy you one.” Ty looked at his mom like who’s buying mine. “Oh and for our boys.” He joked. “Sorry it was a joke it was too much.” He nervous laughed.

“Yeah, I know. They haven’t seen their dad in about 8 months. He passed away unexpectedly.” She couldn’t look him in the eye when she told him. “Dad is dead.” Said Thadd. “Well that’s one way of putting it.” Bekka said and shook her head at Thadd. She laughed small at Elliot Sir Smooth. “Sounds good. I love food.” She looked over at Ty. “Oh, my boys will have their very own.” She smiled at Ty reassuring him.  It bothered her the way he worded it though probably more than it should have but she just met this dude. His nervous laugh was something else. So there all six of them sat eating the cake pops. “Are you from here? What do you do?” she was eager to learn more about him. “Good?” She aksed her boys and smiled at them enjoying the sugar treat very much.

[bekka-banes]

Call Me When You’re Sober

[bekka-banes]

“Excuse me are these tiny men yours.” He smiled and presented her with her children. “I heard a small voice calling me Daddy gotta say I was scared to see who their mother was.” He joked. “Lucky to think I was worthy tho.” He paid her a compliment of her beauty.

Bekka scattered frantically and then turned hearing a man speak up. “Hi! Uh-yes-but I didn’t lose them...I knew where they were.” She tried to play it cool. Bekka blushed because her sons embarrassed her by calling this stranger their dad. “Oh, I’m sorry--” She said taking in his features and now that the boys mentioned it she could see a resemblance or maybe she just wanted to. “Alright Sir Smooth.” She winked at him but it was nice to hear that she was still found attractive after giving actual birth. “Thanks for entertaining them.” She said as she picked Gadget up and pulled Ty over by her side. “I’m Detective Bekka-Carter” She was hesitant because Dimitri would always give her his last name at doctors appointments and such and she would correct him but she longed for the name and the fact that she’d never see this dude again allowed her to use the name freely. “Let me buy you a cake pop?”

[bekka-banes]

The Results Are In and....

Bekka left boys back home in Boston with her mom but Carl tagged along with his sister back to Quantico where they would soon hear the reversion of Dimitri’s? cause of death and to identify his body once more. It was painful and scary for Bekka to have to go back here and handle this all over again a year later. She had been doing good and now she was worried this news would trigger her into reliving the nightmare. “Hey Commissioner,” Bekka walked up beside Ben. “It’s strange...being back here again.”  Nora seen Bekka talking to Ben but she had not the time for this. Nora opened the door to Reese’s lab. “Do you know anything yet? Everyone is out here waiting.” Nora said being pushy. Nova just standing around looking depressed. “I can’t believe you just wont let the man rest! If death is not the time for rest then I don’t know where it.” she said dramatically. Noticing Bekka was there. “Oh, Bekka. You somehow managed to show....” Bekka looked up at Nova. “I know you’re pissed. I should’ve been more sensitive in telling you about your dad.  Sorry, She shrugged.  Nova shook her head, “I can’t--There you go making everything about you. Today isn’t about you Bekka as shocking as that may seem to you. It’s about MY daaaad.” Nova snapped back.  Bekka went to speak up but Nova shushed her. “My husband is about to speak!” She said and went and stood by his side. 

[dimitri-carter]

Prolly Should’a Called Bekka.

[bekka-banes]

“To answer that you have to ask yourself another question. After it was all over If you could go back and change it last time would you?”

So wise he was, “I’ll be there.” So she went.

[dimitri-carter]

Prolly Should’a Called Bekka.

[bekka-banes]

“Yeah of course…. At the very least we might find a missed fleeting piece of evidence that’s a clue in to who done it to him. and a Banes… If there’s anything I can do. You know where to find me.”

“Wait- Should I show up?” She knew she should. Dimitri would have been there if it was her. “I just don’t think I can.... I feel like I did that time he was in the hospital. I can’t bring myself...”