my name is Bella!! I like writing my favorite characters as age regressors and I like to put them in situations
I'm both a caregiver and a little! I'm both autistic and schizophrenic and I like to project that onto the characters. also my stories sometimes may get dark. I am depressed
sometimes I hyperfixate on strange things. just ignore that for my own peace of mind! also I'm a minor
I write headcanons, fanfics, drabbles, and I like to make moodboards and stimboards
I'm currently obsessed with: Heated Rivalry (Shane Hollander)
you can send asks or requests if you want but I might not answer them (I do read them tho. multiple times)
thanks for being here and I hope you enjoy your stay!!
You get me !! Ive seen SO much about toddler ilya but babyre or teenre ilya.. they really get me.. (I might be projecting as an ilya kin but wtv)
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Teenre Ilya pushes and pushes trying to prove that hes not good and that whoever should just leave him. and shane just.. stays. and hes calm about it. he doesnt hit or yell or throw things.
I think during one of these episodes he admits he WANTS shane to hit him, because feeling young(12-15) again without those things feels wrong.
I hope its ok I mention this but I feel like teenre ilya, at the start of all of this, would push for sexual things a lot. I think its assumed that around those ages he started coping with stuff like that so its been in my brain ever since i started thinking of teenre ilya. Shane would obviously be stressed out like.. no??? YOU'RE 13!! THAT'S NOT OK!! and shane would have to teach him how to have a "normal" teenage life. Especially when they start to feel ok with it, maybe Ilya makes a seperate social media account on some things and goofs around on there. I think he would also regress to teen ages around cliff a lot, but not really knowing.
Can take a picture and block out the other stuff if you arent ok with showing that !!
I think the thing that is fundamentally different with teen ilya is he doesn't trust Shane like he does in every other headspace
He understands that he and Shane are together as adults when they're equals, and in his younger headspaces he recognises Shane as an adult figure aligned with his mama, but in a pre-teen to teen headspace he has learnt that adults, especially men, are actively dangerous and Shane is not an exception
He starts already on the defensive - he's just this big ball of angry kid, he's so used to living in fear and trying to appease his father and fighting with his brother and doing stupid shit to lash out which would then piss his dad off and set off the building explosion at home
Being out of that environment doesn't really help tbh bcs he's so unsettled by it being missing, he doesn't understand Shane and that's terrifying, he keeps being calm and reassuring and telling Ilya everything is on his terms, Shane designates a spare room as 'his' that Shane will never step in without permission while Ilya is teening and he can hide in there if he wants, or Shane is going to be working in the office for the next 3 hours if Ilya wants to come use the PlayStation, and there's lots of snacks on the side Ilya can help himself to
As far as ilyas concerned there is a way things are supposed to go and a way he's inherently supposed to be treated and he'll just have to push and push until he gets the right reaction from Shane - at best he's short tempered, difficult to be around, throwing his weight around and shouting insults at Shane over basically nothing, at his worst he is, actively breaking things and harming himself, getting in Shane's face, screaming at him to just hit Ilya already I know you want to (because doesn't everybody want to hit their kids? That's normal?)
Whenever Shane does find the situation needs him to intervene (there's a broken plate on the floor, Ilya is gonna break his hand if he keeps punching walls etc) he is always touching ilya a minimal amount for the least amount of time, but he can see how terrified Ilya is of him in those moments that it just cements for him thst he's doing the right thing, he just needs to hold steady and show Ilya he isn't going to flip out suddenly no matter what
I can see a couple of scenarios where Ilya tries to initiated intimate contact with Shane, one being he knows of course Shane doesn't want that from little Ilya, but this Ilya is a whole 14 years old he's an ADULT and he goes drinking and clubbing and has had some experiences that he thinks of as consensual but 15 years down the line a therapist is going to talk through 'informed consent' and why that can't be given by underage teens with him but he isn't there yet in this headspace, and Shane isn't hitting him and is giving him food and asking to hang out with him and Ilya is like oh I totally know what's going on I've got this (he does not and he does not). Its,,, a painfully embarrassing evening, Shane is mortified and trying to explain to Ilya that he is a child, Shane will never be interested in /that/ with him okay? And ilya is like mad and kinda rejected like trying to convince Shane he's good and Shane is like nope nope nope nope and immediately starts looking up content to explain consent to children (teen Ilya does not care for the pantosaurus song but as a toddler he finds it a bop and Shane is happy for it to have any impact it might have on him in this headspace)
The other situation I can imagine is Shane, being that he is human, feels like he might lose his cool during one of Ilya's attempts to rile him up so tells Ilya that he's sorry but he needs to go sit alone in his room for a bit until he's ready to talk to Ilya about what just happened and Ilya is like. Oh god I did it I pushed him over the edge. Oh fuck actually if this guy so rarely loses his cool and I finally did enough he's going to beat me to a pulp and Ilya is spiralling like maybe Shane has gone to get a belt, or a chain or some horrible thing, and is getting so scared he thinks he should try and lesson his punishment so he goes to Shane's room and knocks softly and Shane let's him in and ilya so meekly says he's sorry and Shane watches him look so dejected that he asks Ilya if he wants a cuddle and Ilya takes that as confirmation he's on the right track - the situation ends much the same as the other but with Shane sadder about it over embarrassed
Ilya does eventually settle in to teen regressing with Shane and feel safe but it's never gonna be perfect, and it's definitely not linier progress, there's a lot of setbacks, it can't be helped but things happen like Ilya over hearing Shane getting frustrated and kinda shouty on a phone call and he spends the day kinda hiding away and being really meek until Shane figures it out and is so sorry and is like it's not an excuse but I want you to know I was talking about someone who is trying to defund charity support from the government in our province with my mum, I shouldn't of shouted that was wrong of me I'm very sorry and ilya is like. Huh... okey
Ilya getting to try out 'being a teenager' with Shane's help... oh I know Shane is so serious about parental protections... he's one of those caregivers that's like you see something that worries you please bring it to me!! You won't ever be in trouble I promise, and also if you're going to drink please do it in the house we can have a beer or something, no hard liquer okay? Is that fair? Bcs he kind of has to accept Ilya is a bit of a wild child and trying to put a hard no on anything that Shane is going to backfire
Ohhh I think bcs Shane also didn't do much Normal Teen Stuff while being obsessed with hockey he goes to Rose for advice and gets like a slumber party movie watch list, and Rose gets to befriend Ilyas teen social media's to send him posts she thinks he'll like
Teen Ilya likes curling up on the couch away from Shane but every so often showing him a funny tiktok then going back to his own space (Shane doesn't always get what's funny but he's happy Ilya is initiating social interactions with him)
He definitely regresses around Marly without realising it - as soon as he hears 'where's my boy!!???' He's all pumped up and excitable, Cliff definitely sees himself as an older brother to Ilya, they don't really acknowledge it ever but they're super playful together and always trying to push into each others space, just like taking a 5 second break to wrestle then go back to whatever they were doing
Scott calling little Shane "rook" is literally the most important thing in the world to me. Especially when it slips out while they're at some event and Shane is fighting for his LIFE not to drop right then and there. I just love him following Scott around like a duckling <3
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ROOK. Rook. ROOK!!! Please excuse me for a moment while I curl into a corner…….
I have watched those scenes w/ Scott and Shane so many times but I have not considered the agere possibilities, my eyes have been opened. I think especially when Shane was a rookie he definitely would’ve gravitated towards Scott at big events, I feel like Scott would’ve been pretty chill abt this and accepted Shane as a duckling pretty easily lol. Omg Scott calling Shane rook and Shane fighting for his life not to regress <3 Scott pats Shane on the shoulder and is like ‘good job, rook :)’ and Shane is suddenly feeling very fuzzy and is like………..cool so basically I’m following you around now…….
this is literally the truest ever . harry is the loudest yappiest most hyper regressor ever and uma is the only one who can keep up with him and make him settle down at all ... ohughh
A - activities [What are their favorite activities to do while regressed?]
Cuddle. Without a doubt. He prefers being wrapped up in someone's arms over everything ever.
B - blankies [Do they have a favorite blanket? What does it look like?]
He doesn’t have a favorite blanket but he does have a favorite texture/type. Soft and thin and cooling.
C - cuddles [Do they enjoy cuddling? How do they like to cuddle?]
Yes! He likes all types of cuddling but really likes being wrapped up in someone's lap.
D - dinner [What is their favorite meal to eat for dinner when regressed?]
He struggles a little less with food when regressed, mainly because he knows a bottle is an option. (it's an option when he’s big but he ignores that fact). For dinner he likes to eat what his CG is eating
E - emotions [Do they get emotional when they regress? Do any emotions trigger them to regress?]
He masks a lot less. This means he’s much more expressive with his emotions than when he's big!
F - food [What are their favorite foods or snacks to eat when regressed?]
He likes foods that he doesn’t really have to chew. Like yogurt or applesauce
G - giggles [What makes them laugh? What do they find funny?]
Face expression and when his CG uses a funny voice. He finds Hayden's 'interviewer’ voice hilarious. And he loves when Ilya tries to do different accents.
H - hugs [Do they like hugging? When do they hug?]
He likes tight hugs. Don’t tell anyone, but his dad gives the best hugs because he can squeeze him just right.
I - imagination [Do they use their imagination a lot when playing?]
Not really. He likes things straight forward.
J - jammies [Do they have a pair of pajamas they wear when going
to bed? What does it look like?]
He doesn’t have specific pajamas. He likes oversized clothes, preferably his CGs.
K - kissies [Do they like (platonic) kisses? Do they like to give or receive them?]
He doesn’t like giving kisses when regressed, but he loves forehead kisses. And kisses on the top of his head are a sure way to make him at least a little fuzzy.
L - lullabies [Do they have a favorite lullaby to listen to as they go to sleep?]
He despises singing when dropped. But!! He does need a little bit of sound when sleeping. Big and little. This is normally a fan.
M - movies [What is their favorite movie to watch when regressed? What genre is it?]
Sleeping Beauty and The Great Mouse Detective. He prefers Sleeping Beauty but if anyone asks he’ll tell them it's the latter.
N - nicknames [Do they have any preferred nicknames they would want a cg to use?]
He doesn’t care. However, he doesn’t like anything that shows he’s little. Hayden will sometimes take to “little boy” when Shane is really pushing it and Shane Hates It!!
O - oops! [Do they tend to be clumsy or make a lot of mistakes when regressed?]
He's a little clumsy. He’ll bump into things and if he’s running to someone, instead of stopping he’ll just crash into them. He finds this very very funny.
P - pacifier [Do they like to use pacis? What does their paci look like?]
He has two pacis that he uses. He has a plain black paci, which is his backup, and a bird one. The bird one is his main one. (Ilya got it for him)
Q - quiet time [Do they enjoy quiet activities? What do they like to do during quiet time?]
Loves quiet time. He lays on the floor and plays with sensory toys and it's amazing, in his opinion.
R - regression [How often do they regress? How do they behave when they regress?]
It’s normally once a week, but he needs to at least once every other week. He is very shy around people he’s not comfortable with but once he feels like he’s safe he is Very Toddler.
S - stuffies [Do they have stuffed animals? What are their names? What do they look like?]
Iggy! I've spoken of him before. He's a weighted dragon.
T - temper [Do they have a temper? Do they throw temper tantrums often, or at all?]
He only gets upset if he's overstimulated or feeling a big negative emotion. He throws tantrums, but they’re rare
U - upset [How do they express being upset when regressed?]
He’ll get mean with himself. Something Hayden says a lot when Shane is in one of his moods is “Be nice to my boy please.” basically tells Shane to stop hitting himself.
V - voice [Do they speak in a different tone of voice when regressed? How is it different from their normal voice?]
He speaks in the same tone, maybe a little more pitched up than normal if he’s dropping fast. But his words are a lot more choppy.
W - warm [What makes them feel all warm and fuzzy?]
Carides. Specifically if he’s in the backseat, and if he falls asleep? He’ll wake up so small and confused.
X - (e)xtra [Additional headcanons?]
His middle name is Ren. When he was a physical child, Yuna would go “Shane Ren!” whenever he was in trouble, so Shane began to associate it with that. When Shane is being a brat and ignoring him, Hayden pitches his voice to the Caregiver Tone and a simple eyebrow raise and a “Shane Ren.” normally gets Shane to stop ignoring him!
Y - yucky! [What do they dislike?]
Being completely alone. He’s fine with being in rooms alone, but straight alone in a house while dropped is a big no-no.
Z - Zzz [What are some sleep habits of theirs? Do they take naps often? Do they have a specific time for naps or bedtime?]
He doesn’t move much in his sleep, if at all. He takes naps when he’s dropped (1pm). And he goes to bed from either 9pm to 10pm, depending on his headspace!
me when i forget regressing is a coping mechanism and a healthy one at that so it's actually a good thing that i'm using it to cope with stress instead of something dangerous. and im allowed to do that
