Onion_Suit

Don't worry about it

[burgerdotcom]

reblogs were off

[roycohn]

stop saying "gen z brought back bush-era purity politics" i grew up in the bush era and even then people weren't saying that you're a sex addict for having boring marital sexual congress in the same house as your children. this is just plain unhinged

[prof-grace-aspen]

Literally almost every millennial I know has a memory of accidentally walking in on their parents or hearing their parents having sex. It's fucking normal. Human beings have sex. Your parents fuck. Get over it. Being weird about it isn't healthy.

[whatsnewalycat]

I really loved Robert Evans’s response to this

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Hippos

Sarah Gailey: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the river of teeth Gailey: it's about the most dangerous game of all Stephen King: is it man? Clive Barker: what kind of question is that, steve? of course it's man Barker: it's always man Mary Shelley: phht

Mary Shelley: man ain't so dangerous King: well, actually, mary, it probably would be more dangerous than hunting a lot of other animals on account of Shelley: shut the fuck up, steve Shelley: i said what i said King: King: no but really Poe: steve, she's talking about men King: oh King: oh right

Sarah Gailey: actually when i talk about the most dangerous game i am not talking about man Shelley: told ya Gailey: i'm actually talking about hippos King: Poe: Barker: Koontz: Lovecraft:

Shelley: hippos ain't that dangerous either King: oh now come on mary you can't expect us to believe that you'd stab a hippo Shelley: why wouldn't I? King: King: i mean King: i mean it would take more than a knife to take down a hippo Shelley: not for me

Dean Koontz: but hippos aren't dangerous! Koontz: they eat plants! Sarah Gailey: oh dean Gailey: oh dean dean dean Gailey: actually according to statistics did you know that more people are killed by hippos than by lions? Koontz: whaaaaaaat?!?! Gailey: i know, right?

Gailey: did you know that there was a plan by the us government to import hippos to the swamps of louisiana Barker: yeah we all heard that NPR story Gailey: well, we all know that plan was never implemented Gailey: what this story asks is Gailey: what if it was

Gailey: what if the swamps of louisiana were now infested with evil, man-eating hippos? Gailey: and there was only one man who could stop them Gailey: a grizzled, battle-scarred veteran of the hippo wars out for one last score Gailey: and no hippo is safe

Gailey: that's right Gailey: colonel horatio T. Mchefferbottom III and her royal majesty's 12th airborne hippo division is back in action for a ripping bunch of two-fisted tales of wholesale hippo slaughter Gailey: the swamps will run blood Gailey: there's also romance too

Gailey: don't fool yourself Gailey: the hippo may look cute, maybe even harmless Gailey: but the so-called river horse is a remorseless murder machine, designed by God only for death Gailey: you ever looked into the eyes of a hippo

[revivivivify]

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[status-quo-hater]

Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.

He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM

[sabertoothwalrus]

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

it's really funny how the entire world basically just blew the fuck up six short years ago and nobody wants to admit that that may have had some lasting consequences lmao

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

like so much of Everything today is premised on the idea that the earth-shattering catastrophe which happened within living memory of everyone older than a third grader has had no meaningful material or psychological effects on the general public and i don't think that's good, lol.

"(some of) the top-line economic indicators (sorta) recovered (in most places) so everything is fine and we don't need to talk about it" is not a sustainable framework for interfacing with reality

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

"why is everyone so angry and paranoid now?" "why is politics so dysfunctional now?" "why is [x] [y] and [z] now? blah blah blah"

2020:

[theonion]

What’s Our Health Insurance Denying?

[zekedms]

I'm out of words to complain about how advertisers can do anything they want that users can't and how much i hate Ai slop apps at this point.

This sucks, man. Jesus Christ.

[zekedms]

You don't say?

Come on, let's see that double standard in action baby.

[beardedmrbean]

[depsidase]

[depsidase]

[philcollinsenjoyer]

music has gotten worse ever since we've stopped letting ugly people have a go at it

[dragon-in-a-fez]

a billionaire can never be held accountable, therefore a billionaire must never make a management decision

[isuggesteatingtherich]

i have a suggestion

[dragon-in-a-fez]

forcefemming the billionaires won't help

[dragon-in-a-fez]

sorry I thought you were someone else

[theonion]

Did you kill Jeffrey Epstein? Buy your tickets to Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile at www.theonion.com/badpedophile now to find out. In select theaters October 2.

[theonion]

Congress, Now More Than Ever, Our Nation Needs Your Cowardice

Congress, Now More Than Ever, Our Nation Needs Your Cowardice

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[theknightlywolfe]

[quasi-normalcy]