it's about the hurt/comfort

whump side-blog for @lady-of-the-spirit. she/her. early 20s. check pinned post for info on what this blog contains. ask box always open.

[spirit-whump]

Blog Info

Hey, everyone! As the bio says, this is a side blog for @lady-of-the-spirit focused on whump. I made this blog mainly for two reasons: 1) to have a place to store all the whump and hurt/comfort I like in an organized way, and 2) to stop feeling self-conscious about what I was exposing my non-whumper followers to by posting whump on my main.

If you follow my main and wanted to follow me here as well, I'm giving you a little kiss on the forehead. 💜

Tagging

I'll do my best to keep what I post organized by tags, both for my sake as well as yours. I won't be doing "tw [content]" tags anymore because on a blog entirely about potentially triggering content it's hard to decide what is or isn't worth tagging. I will still do my best to tag posts appropriately other than that.

Squicks and what you can find here

I do not post or like to talk about the following: gore/super intense violence, teeth/mouth or nails/fingers whump, major character death (most of the time), hate crimes

I will talk and post about rape/noncon whump. If this will trigger you or you don't want to see it, please block the noncon whump tag or don't follow.

Also note that while the squick list does exist, my moods can change and depending on how something is done, I may end up posting it if it appeals to me even if it is on the list. I will tag them appropriately.

Other things

I don't know how much of my own writing I'll post here, but here's the link to my ao3 page.

If you don't already follow my main, feel free to go through my writing tag.

Here's my OC masterlist, because some of those characters will likely pop up at some point and no one should get confused about them.

whumptober2023

ailesswhumptober2024

And that's it! I'll update this post with info as it comes up.

[skunkandgrenade]

Little tips to write PTSD nightmares from someone with PTSD

You don’t dream about what happened specifically, you dream about the person.

You can also dream about someone else doing what this person did to you.

You dream about being followed by that person everywhere you go.

You dream about what that person did to you happening to your loved ones.

You dream about what that person did to you, but in completely different circumstance.

During the dream, it’s often dark or badly lit.

Other fears might happen during a nightmare.

You have constant nightmares after, even if it has nothing to do with what happened.

A night without a nightmare is a rare occasion, even years after.

You don’t feel rested at all when you wake up.

You may wake yourself up screaming.

You move a lot during nightmares.

You will become insomniac.

The dreams can be very traumatic.

(This is based on my personal experience, if you have anything to add don’t be shy!)

[hecticcheer]

I share some but not all of these; I expect it varies a lot person to person! I’ve never moved in my sleep, during nightmares or otherwise; nor have I ever woken up screaming. And I find the lighting in my trauma-inspired nightmares varies just as much as everything else. The general point that you dream distorted versions of the traumatic event rings true for me, though I suspect this depends on how a given survivor’s dreams tend to work more generally? For example, I don’t have recurring dreams at all, in the classic sense of having the exact same dream on multiple occasions, and my trauma-related dreams follow this pattern. But a person who experiences recurring dreams in general might dream the same version of what happened every time.

Also, in my experience, not every dream influenced by traumatic event(s) is A Nightmare About Your Trauma. Sometimes traumatic subjects intrude on a hitherto-innocuous dream, either taking it over completely or just making an unpleasant cameo--and sometimes the opposite happens? A dream will start out terrifying, and then your mind’ll get distracted by something unrelated and silly. Of course, if you’re writing a story about character A’s nightmares, these weird variants probably won’t help much! But it might be a cool way to illustrate recovery--if, say, you’re doing a 5+1 about times they’ve woken up scared.

One final thing I’ve noticed: over the years, as your view of what happened evolves and the details of it that you tend most to fixate on changes, your dreams about it will change in kind. They don’t always keep up to date; I find there’s a sorta... lag, between what my waking mind worries about and what dreambrain does, because dreambrain learns more from my habits than my convictions, gathers more from repetition than intensity. But if your habitual feelings towards an event change, the distorted versions of it dreambrain cooks up will morph into new forms that better reflect those new feelings. If, say, you slowly move from fearing it’ll happen again to guilt for failing to prevent it, you might stop dreaming about other people doing similar things to you, and dream instead about the original perpetrator threatening to do similar things to other people.

[wannabepastrychef]

Tips for writing someone dying of sepsis, as a person who survived it:

1. It fucking HURTS!!! Wherever the infection is will be red hot to the touch, and also be in extreme pain. My infection was in my left ankle and if I tapped my left foot on the ground, I would be crying in pain

2. They are not able of having in depth conversations. The infection messes with your head, even if it is far away from your brain. For me, I was so incredibly tired all the time. You could talk to me, but I felt like I was living in molasses the whole time. It was very, very hard for me to hold a conversation with anyone

3. The person is sick in EVERY WAY. I was throwing up constantly, I could barely keep food down, and anything I did eat made me feel sick afterwards. I was also so weak that getting myself into my kitchen from my bedroom would wind me. My apartment is less than 700 square feet. It is not a far distance between the 2

4. The gut feeling. I was keenly aware something was wrong. I knew, in my heart of hearts, that I was dying. Its hard to describe other than your body is telling you "youre about to die"

[fruity-loves-whump]

Whumper finding out Whumpee has been assaulted in the past, so they decide to assault them again purely because of this. They had no intention of doing this to Whumpee before they learned about their past, but the idea of traumatizing them all over again is just too tempting to pass up.

[fineiguessimintowhump]

thoughts about whumpee being told "Look at me when I'm speaking to you-" because classics are classics:

- Wrenching Them Up By The Hair™. The Classic. beloved.

- Pain so sudden it startles them into looking

- Do they have a collar of some kind? perhaps with a loop? Something to hook your finger into to pull? Or just a leash, I'm not picky.

- Tip of a blade under a chin. Or muzzle of a gun. any weapon. incredibly goofy with a morningstar.

- speaking of muzzle- have you considered: hooking a finger into whumpee's gag and/or muzzle and pulling? because i have. i have.

- Simply grabbing whumpee's chin. Bruisingly Tight.

- Beating whumpee up until they've learnt respect

[blood-fucker]

(x)

[justbreakonme]

Caretaker reaching an arm out across Living Weapon Whumpees chest to protect them, but Whumpee thinks it’s to hold them back.

They feel ashamed that Caretaker trusts them so little, that they have to be held back instead of just instructed. Until Caretaker does it in the car after a car in front of the brake checked them and Whumpee can’t figure out what they were stopping them from.

They ask, hesitantly, hoping that at least if they were punished for asking, they might figure out how to prove themselves, but Caretaker explains that they were trying to protect them, that was what that always meant. Caretaker laughs, asking if Whumpee thought they were strong enough to hold them back anyway, and it finally clicks.

Whumpee spends the rest of the drive staring out the window, tracking each memory back, recontextualizing it through this new information. Caretaker had a point, they were far stronger than them, and by extent, that meant that realistically Caretaker’s arm of protection would do very little to protect them but that wasn’t the point.

No one else had ever tried. 

[justbreakonme]

A narrative parallel I love: Whumpee seeing themselves in other objects/animals/etc that Caretaker interacts with.

-Caretaker gently carrying a spider or other creepy crawly out into the garden instead of squashing it gives the Whumpee who was always considered expendable a lump in their throat.

-Caretaker having a “scary” dog breed like a Pitt bull or Rottweiler but treating it like a pet and lapdog, loving on it instead of training it to attack. Living Weapon Whumpee watches hopefully from their spot standing guard as the dog lays its head in Caretakers lap.

-Caretaker fixing their old beater of a car instead of getting a new one, even though they could afford it, and the Whumpee who was replaced after get hurt/making a mistake/getting too old/etc feels a sense of overwhelming relief.

-Caretaker feeding and watching over a feral stray cat from a distance, never trying to trap it or get too close, just making sure it’s okay. Stoic/defiant Whumpee not letting themselves think about how that makes them feel. Also, if/when Caretaker has to catch and treat the stray because it’s gotten injured or sick, realizing that that’s what Caretaker had been doing for them. They just were too scared to understand.

-Caretaker oiling and polishing their tools, putting them away carefully, taking pains that they were well taken care of and would last forever. Mentioning offhandedly that if you take care of your tools, they’ll take care of you. Slave Whumpee nodding emphatically, hoping that mindset extends to them as well.

-Caretaker tending their garden, trimming buds from flowering plants to keep the plant healthy instead just pretty, and Whumpee who’s only ever been valued for their appearance feels less shame and guilt for “letting themselves go” in recovery.

[scumashling]

Love me a Whumpee breaking something small or fucking up a simple task that normally wouldn't be a big deal by accident and then having a full on breakdown because of it :))

[whump-galaxy]

The whumpee needs to have a perfectly untouched room. The caretaker can’t clean or fix anything in the room, especially not when the whumpee is resting or away. If anything is moved, even by accident, the whumpee becomes anxious that someone else is in the room.

[skunkandgrenade]

Tips about how to write a character living with trauma

Sometimes you forget what you’ve been through isn’t normal, so you slip up about a traumatic thing that happened and only realize it’s weird when people look at you, disgusted

You always have nightmares. Even if it’s not about the traumatic thing (more about PTSD nightmares here)

Everyone breaks differently and trauma changes you entirely. You may become unrecognizable once people break through your facade

You’re still you, tho, but you’ve just changed so much

You ask yourself constantly if it really happened. If it really was that bad. You only have memories of memories, the more time passes, the less you remember the moment it actually happened

Leaving the house becomes a daily challenge. It’s hard and scary, and who knows what’s waiting for you out there

You may become paranoid. There’s cameras in your room, there’s people in your house, there’s people waiting for you to go out so they can kidnap you, etc

Everyone seems different to you

Every little joke, every little comment people pass on something related to your trauma feels like a bullet in your stomach

Triggers are weird. Coffee tables can become a trigger. Blue eyes. White jacket. Such small meaningless things can send you spiraling down a panic attack and wishing for death

People rarely try to understand. People don’t ask questions. They just wait for you to get over it. But you don’t

Everyone becomes impatient with you. Even professionals. Your therapist might fire you, your friends might call you annoying for flinching, etc

There’s always people that will mock your triggers and trigger you on purpose. Always

Being free is extremely weird when you’re not used to it. You don’t know what to do with yourself

There’s a lot of chances you will develop a personality disorder when going through intense trauma

A lot of people will pressure you to forgive. It only makes things worse

PTSD never goes away. You can work on it, conquer some of your triggers, but it still stays. It doesn’t magically go away once you get cared for

You never believe anyone that says that they’re in love with you. It’s definitely a joke, a cruel cruel joke

You don’t trust anyone. You second guess each of their words

People that are overly happy are suspicious

You’re always tense, though you may not realize it anymore

You’re terrified of relaxing or just not being constantly anxious. What if something bad happens once my guard is down?

Every social interaction is terrifying. You don’t know how to read people, you don’t understand hidden meanings, you don’t dare to assume anything anymore

You might become materialistic. Clinging to every object you find. You can’t let go of anything

You’re terrified of appearing weak

You might develop a superiority complex or even a god complex as a way to cope with having felt inferior for so long

You will be blamed for your trauma. You will be asked why you talk about it so much, why didn’t you do anything to save yourself, why you didn’t fight back, etc

Some people like to make you flinch. It makes them feel stronger than you

You will trigger yourself on purpose to get used to it (reading things with your triggers, watching movies/videos, etc)

You will make your pain worse to get used to it (hitting yourself on bruises you already had, pinching a cut to make more blood flow, etc)

You don’t care if you live or die anymore

You can’t cry, but you always feel like crying. Tears just never come out

You might punish yourself without even realizing it (forcing yourself to take cold showers, burning yourself, etc)

You don’t realize you’re being self destructive and when people mention it you get mad because it’s just how you are now and they should just leave you be

Flashbacks can happen really randomly. You can just be vibing and the boom you remember something horrible that happened

I wrote as much as I could remember at the time, if you have anything else don’t be shy to add it! I you have corrections or other perspectives please share them! Those are all from personal experience so of course they’re biaised, but I made them as neutral as possible!

[awfulwhumpsideblog]

some thingies from my experience:

-quickly latching on to anything addictive (social media, a game, etc) that manages to distract you from the memories

-getting urges to change yourself to distance yourself from who you used to be, thinking that maybe if youre different, you wont be hurt again. could be changing your appearance (haircut, new clothes), identity (getting a new name), or personality (adjusting your manneurisms, stopping yourself from using certain phrases/slang that come naturally to you)

-trouble sleeping. Being alone with your thoughts/memories in bed keeps you awake

-panic when you see someone that looks similar to Them out of the corner of your eye in public, and even after doing a double take and realizing its not Them, it still takes a while to calm down

-being bitter and mean to others on impulse and bossing people around for the thrill of being in control for once

might add more later im tired rn

[whumpster-dumpster]

sleeptalking. sleep screaming. people hearing about a whumpee’s issues while they’re asleep. please?

YOU’RE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE (A is Caretaker, B is Whumpee)

- B pleading with the whumper in their dreams not to be hurt again

- Sleep-fighting. A walks in on B lashing out in their sleep at nothing but their blankets. “Don’t touch me! Get off, get away!”

- ^^^^ Alternatively, B lashing out in their sleep to protect A; they’re having a nightmare that the whumper is hurting them. “Get away from them! I’ll kill you!”

- A hears B sleeptalking. “No...No, I can’t tell ’em...Can’t let A know what happened. It’ll hurt them. Please, don’t make me tell ’em, please...”

- A getting up the courage to ask B, “Who’s C? I heard you calling out for C in your sleep.” And B immediately goes pale. 

- B starts sleepwalking. A has to rush to stop them before they do something or go somewhere that’ll seriously injure them

- A affectionately touching B as they sleep (i.e. ruffling their hair or squeezing their shoulder) only for B to twitch and flinch away, whimpering unconsciously. The whumper used to do the same thing

- It’s the hottest time of the year and B can’t wear long pajamas. A happens to spot them sleeping in a tank top and shorts and is shocked at the number of scars they never knew B had

[kaleidoscoprwriting]

When whumpee is really casual about stuff that shocks their team/caretaker

“Ugh-- Why the hell is everything so loud all the sudden? I was only in that room for, like, a week!” “Room?” “Oh, the sensory deprivation chamber. I didn’t tell you guys about that?”

"Whumpee, oh my gosh, are you okay? Your legs should not bend like that!" "Don't worry this is only like, the third worst thing that's happened to me this week."

"Oop- careful, that's the arm I was stabbed in. Hold my other hand."

"So how long were you kept there?" "Well, I was there for about a week, but don't worry they were only torturing me for like half of it." "They tortured you?"

"Um- Can you hold this, I've only got one working hand." "What happened to your other one?" "I broke it to get out of the handcuffs, remember?"

"Woo boy I do not miss those cameras." "Cameras?" "Yeah, I don't have to monitor my face all the time anymore! No one's gonna attack me for looking like shit!"

"I do not have time for another near death experience!" "Yeah-- wait, another?"

"Damn you weren't lying, that actually wasn't poisoned. Why?" "Because-- because most people don't poison everything? Are you okay?"

"We've got an extra bed you can use." "Oh, you don't have to do that for me! I usually sleep on the floor anyways." "You are not sleeping on the floor!"

"So you got stabbed today?" "Yeah. Not a very eventful day."

"So sorry to bother you sir/ma'am, but do you have any bandages I could borrow? I've been stabbed."

[i-write-whump]

Whump dialogue prompts:

“If you’re not feeling up to it, there’s no shame in saying so. We all want you to take care of yourself, so go and rest if you need to.” “I’m not letting you go anywhere, _________. You passed out from exhaustion less than an hour ago! You need to get some actual sleep, and I’m going to make sure you do, even if that means I end up having to sit on you.” “Alright, let me see that wound. With the week you’ve been having, it really seems like the world has it out for you.”

“Are you going to go back to bed on your own, or do I need to carry you? I’ll throw you over my shoulder if I have to. That might even be the best plan, honestly, because we both know you’re not supposed to be walking on that foot any time soon.”

“Ok, you need to sit down and let me take a look at you, I saw you hit your head a few minutes ago.” “Are you sure you’re alright? You’re really, really pale, maybe you should sit down.”

[pretty-face-breaker]

I’ve always loved the image of a whumpee who is normally energetic and confident freezing up as soon as the whumper so much as looks at them or steps into the same room.

They’re self-assured until that familiar hand slithers over their shoulder, fingers rubbing along the back of their neck. And then they’re still, their breathing barely audible.

Until they hear that voice rumble “Miss me?” from behind.

[lady-of-the-spirit]

What if the whumpee is with their friends when it happens - their friends who don't know about the history between the whumpee and whumper? And the friends notice but because they don't know they can easily ignore it or miss it entirely, but there's still something suspicious going on they can't figure out.

And then they find out, either from the whumpee who has become so tired and afraid they don't have any option but to go to their friends for help, or from the whumper who (upon realizing the whumper never told their friends) relishes the opportunity to humiliate the whumpee by telling their friends everything.

[pretty-face-breaker]

Oooooh yes, I love this addition! Humiliating the whumpee in front of their friends is such a great low blow, a way to indirectly ruin any shred of normalcy they felt with them over the years of recovering from the whumper’s induced trauma. And the angst that comes with the whumpee potentially breaking down and reliving the horrors in front of their friends that they had tried so hard to forget.

I love it.

[i-write-whump]

When the whumpee and their team are doing a training exercise in a cold, snowy area, and the whumpee gets very, very cold. The whumpee not mentioning it to any of their teammates, because they’ve only been on the team for a short time, and they don’t want to be an inconvenience. One of their teammates noticing them shivering, and slowly becoming more and more out of it, and telling the leader that the whumpee needs to get somewhere warm. The leader ending then training for the day, and as soon as they’ve all gotten inside, them going over to the whumpee and asking if they’re ok. The whumpee trying to brush off their leader’s concern, but their leader seeing just how out of it they are, and noticing that the whumpee is barely even shivering anymore. The leader rushing them over to sit down somewhere comfortable, and the rest of the team helping them get the whumpee’s winter gear off before the leader wraps them in their arms. The whumpee being too cold and out of it to protest, and their teammates wrapping the two in blankets, then one teammate going to make whatever hot drink they have on hand. The leader settling in to hold the whumpee for awhile while they warm up, and as the whumpee curls into them, the leader deciding that they need to have a conversation about the importance of being honest about problems as soon as the whumpee’s recovered enough.

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

how does being punched in the face feel like

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

literally i just wanna know

[burn-brighter-than-fire]

It depends on where you get hit

Cheek: a round dull pain that clocks your entire head in a different direction. It’s painful and throbs but the main effect of a punch to the cheek is how jarring it is. You feel it in your mouth, your teeth. And no matter how you position that punch the knuckles will always hit the jaw and cheek bones adding a frame of sharp pain in which the redness will be painted.

Temple: getting hit on the temple pushes your head to the side rather than turning it. It’s disorienting because it leaves you very off balance. It essentially feels like a bad pressure headache, like when you have a sinus infection on a plane, but in one spot and on the outside. It’s sharp in the middle and radiates outward and even after the initial impact it pulses like an earthquake epicenter. It easily causes long lasting headaches and is the most likely of these examples to cause a concussion.

Eye: this is a weird one. The fist doesn’t fit within the eye socket so either the knuckles on the brow and cheeks bones protect the actual eye or they don’t. The former option gives a full spreading pain below the eye which results in the classic black eye look and a sharp pain on your brow similar to hitting your shin on the couch. The latter option, well bad things can happen when a hard fast object makes direct contact with your eye but for the sake of this it feels like a vacuum bc the concave shape is being covered and pressurized. The eye feels pushed back and pulled forward all at once. It doesn’t necessarily hurt that bad for that long unless the punch was meant to do damage. I’m fortunate to say I don’t know what it would feel like then.

Nose: remember that prank kids used to pull where they’d line up their hands with their nose, push them in one direction and crack a knuckle at the same time to pretend to break their nose? Yeah that’s what it looks like when someone punches you from the side in the nose, except it’s someone else’s hand and your nose makes the sound instead of their knuckle. It’s just like breaking any bone where you hear it and feel the action if it being done but that moment of shock blankets you for a split second until all the pain comes rushing back. It’s sharp and needlelike and can give you black eyes just to add insult to injury. If you get hit in the nose from the front it’s like the uncomfortableness of when you have to sneeze but can’t. Except that feeling took all the steroids and is now using your face as a punching bag to express its roid rage. It crackles outward like static electricity under your skin, your eyesight gets fuzzy and you can’t tell if it’s because you’re tearing up, it’s hard to open your eyes, or you’re momentarily stunned and blinded. Just know it’s all three. I find that this one knocks the wind out of you the most. Gotta remind yourself to breathe just don’t try to do it through your nose.

If you really want to know what this feels like I’d suggest joining a mixed martial arts because they’ll teach you correct form and power distribution and you can spar with pads and actually hit each other.

I’d also recommend learning what it feels like to punch someone in the face. It’s much more fun and pretty damn cathartic when they deserve it.

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

i was just being stupid but these descriptions are actually so well written i could feel them lmao bless

[jenniferrpovey]

Well, thanks for “being stupid,” because this is a great ref for writers.

[bluejay-bitch-in-the-treetops]

*likes to save it to their gallery of assorted writing refs

[galadhir]

Also, if you’ve never been deliberately hit in the face before there’s a surprisingly overwhelming feeling of a social violation having happened - a sense of shock and wrongness. I burst into completely involuntary tears even though the punch wasn’t particularly painful.