Some of the worst analogies written by high school students.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT NUMBER 4 IS GREAT.
These are genius
NUMBER 4 IS ART. I CAN ONLY DREAM OF HAVING THAT GENIUS
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@bereftofbalance
Some of the worst analogies written by high school students.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT NUMBER 4 IS GREAT.
These are genius
NUMBER 4 IS ART. I CAN ONLY DREAM OF HAVING THAT GENIUS
If you like more of this, follow @psych2go.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Edna reflects.
She knew how to take care of herself, how to control the thunder and create stalagmites and stalactites out of nothing, how to shatter earth and bend wind; she knew that loving was dangerous and beautiful and terrifying, knows this but all the same, she knows while loving she had never been so dizzy with happiness and there was nothing that had felt more agonizingly breathtaking or so painfully right, and truthfully, she doesn't know what to do anymore.
Can I just… talk for a moment… about how much I love how, if you know them well, words don’t have synonyms?
English, for example, is a fantastic disaster. It has so many words for things that are basically the same, and I find there’s few joys in writing like finding the right word for a sentence. Hunting down that peculiar word with particular meaning that fits in seamlessly in a structure, so the story flows on by without any bumps or leaks.
Like how a shout is typically about volume, while a yell carries an angry edge and a holler carries a mocking one. A scream has shrillness, a roar has ferocity, and a screech has outrage.
This is not to say that a yell cannot be happy or a holler cannot be complimentary, or that they cannot share these traits, but they are different words with different connotations. I love choosing the right one for a sentence, not only for its meanings but for how it sounds when read aloud. (Do I want sounds that slide together, peaceful and seamless, or something that jolts the reader with its contrast? Snap!)
I love how many words for human habitats there are. I love how cottage sounds quaint and cabin sounds rustic. I love steadiness of house, the elegance of residence, the stateliness of manor, and tired stubbornness of shack. I love how a dwelling is different to a den.
And I love how none of them can really touch the possessive warmness of all the connotations of home.
Words are great.
Awkward First Meetings AUs
“My cat steals underwear and I come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back.”
“I was imitating a fight scene off this anime I watched and accidentally hit you in the face.”
“This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry.”
“I needed a drink of water after my shower but I forgot that I opened the blinds to my balcony and you just saw me walk into my kitchen naked.”
“I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please.”
“I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.”
“You have just witnessed me cry over the ending to my favorite game before class began please don’t ever tell anyone about this.”
“I thought you were my friend so I slapped your ass in greeting.”
“I sent a selfie of myself in the tub to the wrong number and you responded back with another selfie. Holy shit you’re really attractive.”
“You’re headphones aren’t plugged in all the way so I know you’re listening to educational children’s cartoon theme songs.”
“You just caught me reading hardcore smut fan fiction during class and you’re wondering how I can read this with a blank face.”
“You accidently broke my arm when you fell from a tree and landed on top of me.”
“I got my ass handed to me in SSB4 by this little kid and you were there to witness it.”
“I’ve never talked to you before but the teacher just used us as an example for a scenario where we are married.”
“Hello we are full grown adults fighting over this last balloon that’s shaped like a cats head.”
“I’m running late to school and you just hit me with your motorcycle cause you’re also late and no I don’t want to go to the hospital instead because I cannot miss this test just please give me a ride instead?”
“Please don’t tell anyone that I carry a stuffed animal around with me and even talk to it.”
“Hello I’m your boss and you’re the new employee who just saw me shove an entire cupcake into my mouth.”
“I’m watching The Lion King on my phone and I’m trying to hide the fact I’m sobbing uncontrollably but you notice anyway.”
“I was trying to ask for directions and you accidentally pepper sprayed me cause you thought I was your stalker.”
“Hey you called this number at like 3AM and we talked about some pretty heavy shit do you remember any of that?”
again, i’ve reached my next hundred in such a short time. i found this list hilarious, so prompt me?? i always need to give back to you guys <3
“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma
and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND
I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody:
zeug·ma ˈzo͞oɡmə/
noun
a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses (e.g.,John and his license expired last week ) or to two others of which it semantically suits only one (e.g., with weeping eyes and hearts ).
ISN’T THAT AWESOME??
#in english class in high school my teacher had us write our own zeugmas in class#and one guy came up with ‘he fell from her favor… and the window’#i am forever looking for opportunities to use that one
She dropped her dress and inhibitions at the door.
What’s this? My favorite rhetorical device showing up on my dashboard?
IT HAS A NAMEEEE!! OH MY GOD!!!
So I recently started playing Pokemon again, and I nicknamed my Magikarp "Kylo"...I don't know about you but I don't think I could've picked a better nickname if I tried
tfw you’re writing and your fic is turning into something you didn’t intend it to be
tfw you’re writing and a character says something you didn’t expect them to say and it sort of opens up a new plot point you’re going to have to resolve now by the end of the fic
ok, but your otp being cute and domestic as fuck:
hoarse “good morning”s whispered in the soft dawn light, hands clumsily finding each other through the haze of sleep
sprawled out on the couch together, marathoning so-bad-theyre-good sci-fi movies, flicking popcorn at each other to try to catch in their mouths at commercial breaks
dancing on hardwood floors in fuzzy socks, catching one another when they slide too far (the tall one stopping to argue- “you’re wearing my socks” “no i’m not” “they come up to your knees!” “… that proves nothing”)
curled under a shared blanket on the couch, watching scary movies far later than advisable, clinging tighter to one another at each jumpscare
cooking dinner together, stealing kisses as payment for anything and everything (”i need to get into that cabinet” “it’ll cost you~” / “hey can you pass the celery” “mmmmaybe”)
It never fails to surprise me how quickly the Kylux fandom can swing from all those fluffy headcanons of Hux in his pink aerobics outfit to these sad childhood Hux headcanons in the span of a few days
Love you crazy, crazy people <3
it won’t be like what you imagined. maybe you get the road trip to the beach with coffee in your hand and the radio playing, maybe you don’t. but happy shows up. it’s in a 2 AM game of jenga with your new college friends. it’s curling up for another marathon of netflix. it’s meeting the person who will be your best man at the wedding. it’s 4:45pm in the library when the girl in the study coral across from you quietly whispers “i’m going to set everything on fire” and then turns to you and asks if you wanna take a break for dinner (say yes, she’s very nice and you both need a moment away from the stress). it’s the mornings they have omelettes and in good books and in a puddle that looks cool. it’s sometimes picturesque, but more often it’s full-belly laughter at stupid things on the floor of your friend’s house while in the background someone is debating the best way to win settlers of catan.
i know it gets dark early now and the tired is setting in and everything sort of feels blank and hazy and you want to spend ages staring at walls thinking of nothing
but happiness will find a way in. it will be small moments. look for them.
If you're a writer and you see this post, stop what you're doing.
WHENEVER YOU SEE THIS POST ON YOUR DASH, STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND WRITE ONE SENTENCE FOR YOUR CURRENT PROJECT.
Just one sentence. Stop blogging for one minute and write a single sentence. It could be dialogue, it could be a nice description of scenery, it could be a metaphor, I don’t care. The point is, do it. Then, when you finish, you can get back to blogging.
If this gets viral, you might just have your novel finished by next Tuesday.
Goddamn it, it’s back.
If it stays back, I might manage to finish a third story this year. Jesus.
I swear, this is now my only writing motivation.
BACK AGAIN??? Sigh.
Okay, sorry if anyone gets sick of this, but it’s the best way for me to get myself to write.
This au for your otp.
Apartment Building AUs??
‘I was deliriously tired last weekend and thought it was you making all that noise so I wrote you a rude note stating that you can’t get away with being noisy just because you’re super hot’ AU
‘I hear you singing in the shower and we have awesome duets but you pretend nothing happened when I see you in the hall, what gives?’ AU
‘Ok when I pictured the custodian, I was thinking Old Dude With Coveralls, not…you!’ AU
‘EVERY TIME WE’RE IN THE ELEVATOR YOU’RE ON YOUR DAMN PHONE and it makes it really hard to hit on you’ AU
‘You keep dragging suspicious sacks up to and down from your apartment and I don’t know what your deal is or why I still wanna bone you’ AU
‘It’s my first home out of college and I’m not a prude but you seem to let a LOT of people sleep over and you seem to know that I kinda want to be one of them (or the only one..)’ AU
‘My iTunes picks up your iTunes and I’m not trying to be rude but are you ten years old?’ AU
‘So I heard you get into this huge fight with someone and I know we’ve only exchanged genial smiles but I just wanted to check that you’re ok’ AU
‘I’m pretty sure you don’t speak English but for some reason I’ve started telling you about my crappy days while we ride the elevator together and I don’t feel so alone anymore’ AU
‘Someone on Yik Yak in our building seems to have a crush on me, please let it be you?’ AU
‘I’ve had a crush on you for months but we’ve never talked yet here you are drunk off your ass trying to get me to come over and join your birthday party’ AU
'I can’t believe I had the terrible luck to move in beside my favourite cam boy and I have to act cool’ AU (Related) 'I keep hearing loud sex noises coming from your apartment yet nobody else ever seems to come out and I need to figure out what your deal is before it drives me nuts’ AU
'My job requires that I stay in shape yet you torture me with the most amazing food smells WHY’ AU
'I’m pretty sure your girlfriend next door to me is cheating on you and normally I’d say it’s none of my business but when I met you that time before realising you were taken I pretty much fell in love’ AU
'My cat only keeps going to your apartment because you feed him, you know… It’s like you’re encouraging him on purpose..’ AU
'I suspect you might be my favourite reclusive author but I’ve heard you’re notoriously shy and I don’t know how to be cool about this’ AU
'I was break-up drunk when I swiped right on you, I never actually thought we’d match?? omg this makes things so awkward’ AU
'My roommate called dibs on you when we were moving in and I’m devastated because I’m pretty sure you’re my soulmate’ AU Actual soulmate AU where your soulmark tingles in your soulmate’ presence but you can’t fucking tell who it is but you’re never alone together in the elevator and it’s really rude to ask
And finally
'Please sign this petition to make our selfish dick of a landlord lower the rent and refurbish the lobby! What do you mean you ARE the landlord? Fuck.’ AU
literally one of my favorite romance tropes of all time is character a is a really notorious gang leader/well known feared ruler of some kind etc and no one dares cross them or talk back to them etc because they won’t make it out alive but character b can literally get away with saying whatever they want and everyone knows it’s because they have character a wrapped around their finger and character a is gentle with character b and everyone wouldn’t dare laying a finger on character b because then character a would literally chop their head off
bonus points if character b is just as ruthless and powerful as character a
Hopefully this’ll be the first in a series of mini modern AU Kylux oneshots! Everyone in the fandom is just so amazing that I just had to write something of my own
It’s obscenely early in the morning, but Hux sweeps into the Starbucks promptly at 6:30, articulating his order through crisp, clipped tones, other finger flying over the screen of his phone, replying to emails and texts.
The barista nods, scribbling his order as neatly as she can on the cup, punching numbers into the cash register, but Hux is already reaching into his suit pocket to find his wallet as she says “That’ll be 4 dollars 30, sir.” when, shit.
He scrabbles in his pocket, but all that turns up are bits of thread and cotton, no wallet.
“Fuck.”
He curses, almost slamming his fist on the counter in frustration as he vividly remembers leaving his wallet on the kitchen counter as he left this morning. “Sorry,” he apologizes to the flustered barista. “You can cancel the order, I’ll-”
“I’ll pay for it.”
Hux starts as he hears a quiet, deep voice behind him, and he turns, breath catching in his chest as he sees a man with a mess of black, curly hair rifle through his wallet to pull out a crisp fiver, brown eyes steadily meeting Hux’s as he hands it across him to the barista.
“Thanks,” Hux finally says, voice coming out a bit higher than he would’ve liked, magnetically aware of the sliver of distance between them.
“No problem,” the man replies, and Hux can feel himself staring, at the man’s strangely handsome face, the bold nose, those lips--
”Aren’t you going to order?” Hux forces out coolly, gesturing at the counter; he can only imagine his expression; he’s never felt this off-kilter.
The man raises an eyebrow, and gives him a slow, crooked, smirk (and by god Hux can feel it in his knees), walks around him to the counter.
Hux doesn’t hear what he orders; he’s too preoccupied with the frantic beating of his chest.
He paces in place, brings his thumb to his mouth, chews on his fingernail anxiously. The stranger finishes ordering, turns to look at Hux again. He leans against the counter, looks him over.
“What?”
“Nothing,” the stranger says, and Hux can hear the smile in his voice.
This must be what they call sexual tension, Hux thinks hazily, and he’s never been more grateful for anything in his life than when the barista calls out, “Hux, Caffe Misto.”
He rushes over to the counter with wobbly legs, snatching the drink and almost dashing to the door before he remembers his manners, turns around to face the stranger, who’s tall enough to look him eye-to-eye (a rare occurrence, these days) and says, “Thank you.”
“My pleasure.” The stranger cocks an eyebrow, gives him another smirk.
Hux pushes open the door, breathes in the city air, takes a sip of his coffee before he notices the number scrawled on the side of the cup, accompanied by a note--
Nice butt. Call me! I’m Kylo :)
Hux scoffs, takes another sip of coffee that definitely wasn’t meant to calm his racing heart.
And he definitely doesn’t want to think about why he didn’t just throw the cup away.