This is so
Unnecessary
how do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humour
âWhat could the audio possibly be?â
*unmutes*
âOh,â
If I ever donât laugh at this, assume I died.
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸

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The Bowery Presents
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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NASA
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor
Show & Tell
Sade Olutola
Today's Document
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Cosmic Funnies
we're not kids anymore.
Not today Justin
Claire Keane
KIROKAZE

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Andulka

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@bethsmash
This is so
Unnecessary
how do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humour
âWhat could the audio possibly be?â
*unmutes*
âOh,â
If I ever donât laugh at this, assume I died.
it would suck being a new immortal. like itâd be 2109 and people would go, âwhat was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?â and iâd just be like, ânoâŚno i was born in 1991. so like, wow iâm gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean iâm not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. donât think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.â
even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. âWhat was it like seeing the pyramids being built?â âFuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.â âOh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?â âI fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.â
And now, a lesson in biases:
We barely know anything about Madagascar pre-500CE. We donât even know whether the island had a permanent population before then, despite finding a bunch of much older signs of temporary human presence.
Malagasy mythology makes mention of the vazimba, a âprecursorâ ethnic group that might or might not be distinct from Madagascarâs current population.
The point is, we do not know.
So you were in Madagascar when the pyramids were being built in Egypt, i.e. during one of the most obscure, most undocumented parts of Madagascarâs human history?
Oh, buddy, you better go and make a bunch of anthropologists and archeologists really happy RIGHT NOW instead of feeling bad about missing everyone elseâs pet Major Event.
Itâs been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyoneâs left to it.
The devastating difference between how much time it takes to write something vs how fast people read it lol
you're falling in the trap!! it will be read by many people, many times, and it will live on in their memories. and maybe no single other human will match you in time spent dedicated to your story, but as a collective we will outlast you. acts of creation only grow when they are shared
This. Writing is not like dinner. It can be consumed many times
hey. hey now.
Movement nudge, for hands and wrists!
X
I'm gonna be honest
I didn't make enough gifs of him
Heated Rivalry ll S01EP06
random hollanov moments + their respective book quotes
culture shock, nerds edition (engineer meets biologist)
I do think that Shane gets a Russian language tutor. He sees that Ilya is always having to think, speak, and translate in his second language. And he knows that Ilya is fluent by this point, but if he's serious about forever with Ilya (which he is) he wants Ilya to be able to communicate with his boyfriend in his native language. He also saw how much his grandparents struggled with learning English as adults and how much more expressive and talkative they were when they spoke Japanese at home together.
So he gets a tutor. He meticulously researches her (she's from Moscow, so he'll learn from someone with Ilya's same accent). She's signed to more NDAs than he can count. She has 10 years of experience, she's certified to teach English and Russian, and she has 4.8 stars on MyTutor.
Shane pays her a frankly concerning amount of money to make house calls. Twice weekly, unless he's on the road, she arrives at his apartment to teach him foundational Russian. She gives him workbooks, Russia cartoon recommendation, podcasts for beginners, etc. He tells her he's learning because his boyfriend is Russian and she outlines a course that focuses on domestic language first (as opposed to travel or business). She even teaches him what she calls a 'culture course' with lessons on Russian music, food, and various traditions.
She's only a few years older than Shane and he actually finds himself looking forward to her visits. At this point, she's the only person other than his parents that knows he has a boyfriend.
About 4 months in, Shane finally feels comfortable enough to ask about what he'd been very excited about learning.
"You want me to teach you how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?" Ekaterina raised an eyebrow.
"Um," Shane blushed. Was this a little too far? Was this inappropriate to ask of a tutor? "Yes? If - If that's okay, I mean."
A slow smirk spread over her face. "This will be fun. Fun for me, now. Fun for you, later."
"I made a list," Shane admitted. He wasn't going to back out now, he put a lot of thought into his list. He turned to it in his Russian notebook and handed it to her.
She scanned over it indifferently. "You will use all this in one night?"
"Yeah, probably. Is it too much?"
"It is good you have a Russian man," Ekaterina said. "They have good stamina. Mostly, anyway."
And while it was a little embarrassing for Ekaterina to correct his pronunciation of please let me suck your cock, it helped that she seemed just as comfortable with that as there is tea on the stove.
Though, maybe he shouldn't have learned those phrases at the same time, because Ilya will never, for as long as they live, allow him to forget asking, while down on his knees and with excellent pronunciation, please let me suck your tea.
I love most headcanons about Shaneâs opinions on other sports but none have resonated with me like âShane doesnât respect soccer.â I have to admit that I think Shane would be a little self-righteous about soccer players tactically faking injuries when in his sport people actively inflict and get real injuries for the same reason. I think heâd be like your sport isnât even a contact sport. You donât even need padding. Itâs not even cold. I donât think you could pay Shane to pretend he needs a minute.
Now I love comically large Adrian as much as the next guy, but hear me out on the potential of a comically small Adrian
adrian: youâre a lying, cheating piece of shit! youâre not the eridian i married!
rocky: fine then! weâre getting a divorce! and i'm taking the pebbles!
grace, pushing the monopoly board away from them: ⌠maybe we should stop playing
Random Au idea; Miraculously, the Blip-A crew survive, but at the cost of their travel time, making it so they arrive at Tau Ceti around the same time as the Hail Mary. (Don't think too hard about it)
Grace now gets regularly hassled by many Eridians, all of whom can hold multiple conversations at once, unlike him.
Naturally, opinions about the local wet organful thang Tau Ceti dragged in are varied
today i learned that the finnish word for âhazardous wasteâ is ongelmajäte, which can also translate as âproblematic garbageâ and my roommate and i immediately agreed this is a word that belongs on tumblr.
Your fave is ongelmajäte
in german itâs SondermĂźll which means special trash and that too belongs on tumblr
One manâs ongelmajäte is another manâs sondermĂźll.
Iâve never ONCE seen one of these and not being just likeâŚabsolutely riddled with tension, so. Keep passing them around, I guess!