BethSmash Tumbles

Various things I find fun and/or interesting.

[wrishwrosh]

ive said it before and i’ll say it again not enough historical romance focuses on technicalities

[wrishwrosh]

really for this kind of thing it’s no use going to published trad romance and i should know that. the really good shit is 400k on fanfiction dot net for a heterosexual pairing you’ve never considered from a piece of media you havent thought about in years written by a bored doctoral candidate who’s read a lot of primary sources from the long 18th century

[wrishwrosh]

recently rediscovered my absolute favorite entry in the genre: customs and duties by tortoiseshells, which is an insane technicalityromance set in 1738 boston, ft the stuffy british navy guy from pirates of the caribbean/ofc, smuggling, puritanism in the john calvin sense, the legal realities of widowhood, several real historical governors of massachusetts, debts, accounts, and of course customs regulations

[marzipanandminutiae]

I would also like to nominate and psyche's lamp shall darkling be, a story based on the 2025 Frankenstein movie that gets into the intricacies of 1850s convent school life, the process of Catholic ecclesiastical courts verifying miracles, multiple points of mid 19th century marriage and inheritance laws pertaining to property, and also spells the word connection with an X so you know the author has been in the 19th century literature trenches 

[409-conflict]

Hey loons, since I use a bunch of workskins in my HR fics and it makes me sad that the formatting gets lost when you download from ao3, I did the Totally Sane thing of converting my works with formatting to epubs.

Disclaimers: only available in epub, only tested on the three devices I happen to own, here be monsters, etc. etc.

Available to download via Google Drive here

[malinaa]

what if we all explode

[derring-do]

This very production of Orpheus & Eurydice is now available to stream, free, for the month of June.

[homunculus-argument]

Squatters' rights apply to grandmas. If someone's not visiting and looking after their grandma, but you will, after a set amount of time once you've settled in, that's your grandma now.

[shoutingtothevoidtilldeath]

Someone tried to do that with my grandma once. The guy tried to become her kid so they could inherit the house and money.

My grandma people pleases in a way where she lies all the time, so it was really hard to figure out whether or not she wanted to be in that situation, but after she was started to disown my mom (who would travel a couple hours every week to see her) we started fighting the guy. We’re now in a legal battle because he’s been using some sort of squatter’s/tenet’s rights to keep her house, and has had access to the grandma credit card(cuz she just let him borrow it). And my people pleasing grandma is now staying with us, and says she seething hates the guy.

[raccoonmilf]

When I was in grade school I used to send emails to biologists and zoologists asking them questions to get answers to include in school projects I was working on, and would cry when they did not respond because I thought I was stupid for thinking that some random kid would ever be deserving of a response from someone who does something as smart and cool and important as *checks notes* studies frog fungus.

Now, at 29, I’m lowkey having a panic attack because my academic email is filled with middle schoolers wanting me to answer their questions about pygmy raccoons and I keep putting off answering them because I’m so overwhelmed with all the other raccoon stuff I have to do.

Anyway, greatest apologies to any scientist I ever emailed as a child and also an adult.

[raccoonmilf]

I know your research is really important and I appreciate all you are doing but this is so fucking funny

[estro-boi]

we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason

[estro-boi]

torrents work like this

i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3

unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it

i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map

i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs

this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.

crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.

please learn to torrent

[macleod]

How to Use Torrents (with Pictures) - wikiHow

An expert guide to get started using torrentsTorrents are one of the most popular forms of file sharing on the internet, accounting for over

always use qbittorrent, do not use bittorrent or utorrent.

[thescufflehut]

Her feeties make a nice pillow.

[animentality]

[booksandchainmail]

#WHAT a fucking read of the manic pixie dream girl#I want this desperately actually???#perfect quirky enigmatic mystery girl who has all the traits you don't but long for#and lives life with extreme confidence and whimsy doing whatever she truly wants#and she's the future you can have!! she's here because she loves you! she wants you to be happy!#she hated being you so she knows how much you hate being yourself but she's here to prove to you#that there is a joy you can attain#there is a self you will love (tags via @aethersea)

[depsidase]

[longseasons]

[gwydionmisha]

Bonus: If I buy a book I get to keep it! The publisher can't turn up at my house at random and confiscate all the books I bought.

[hullosweetpea]

Community not Consumerism: Fandom Etiquette for the Heated Rivalry Newbies (who are on my Last Nerve) 

First, I need to address that the only social media I use is Tumblr, a private Discord with friends, and AO3. So the fact that I know about this terrible behavior means it is bad. 

Second, credentials. I’ve been in fandom spaces for over 15 years, creating for 11 years, and I have a Bachelors and (almost) a Masters in Creative Writing. I also was an editor on a literary magazine during my graduate classes. I normally don’t flaunt the degrees, because Good Writing comes from experience, not just degrees, but The Kids have me steamed.  

Now on to the Issue. 

Heated Rivalry (the show) is barely four months old, so why am I seeing fanfic authors already deleting fics and jumping ship on the fandom? 

Because I have seen thee most entitled comments I’ve ever seen in my fandom experience. People upset that a WIP isn’t uploading fast enough. Upset that a WIP isn’t going the way they want. Witch hunting authors because a fic is too good and too long to not be written AI. Leaving unwanted “feedback” and “critique.” Upset when authors take creative license. Just straight up bullying. 

Y’all have got to stop it or you’ll be out of fic by the end of Pride Month. 

This kind of behavior isn’t new in fandom (see, flame wars), but the severity and amount is flabbergasting. 

To the newbies, I am begging you to stop. Fandom is about community. Fandom community is about uplifting and supporting those around you. It’s about making friendships; creating headcanons, fic, art, and meta; and going “Look at this cool thing!” to your friends. This behavior of trashing fics in the AO3 comments, blasting authors on Twitter, and being a general all-around obnoxious human is relatively new and invasive to fandom. 

If you are new to fandom, this behavior can and should get you ostracized. 

When you’re new to an alt subculture, your job is to learn the history, respect your elders, and shut up when you’re wrong. Regardless of what you may believe, fandom is an alt subculture. COVID and then Heated Rivalry has shot it into the stratosphere. This kind of behavior is based on overconsumption and an idea that everything has to be built around your comfort level. Get used to being uncomfortable. 

If you hate, hate, hate a fic, use the back button and talk with a friend. Do not tell the author in an AO3 comment. Do not subtweet or vague post. 

And to authors? Keep blocking the assholes. Lock your fic to AO3, so if someone does comment like this you can block them. Monitor comments if you need to. And honestly, if you’re done with this behavior, delete the fic. I know it absolutely blows, but do not keep it up if it’s harming your mental health. Take care of yourself first. 

To the authors still posting: I see you, love you, and hope you have your favorite snack for life. 

To the authors who’ve deleted/left: I see you, love you, and hope you have your favorite snack for life. 

To users leaving excellent comments: I see you, love you, and hope you have your favorite snack for life. 

And if you leave these comments and have never written and posted a fic? I dare you to do it. Once you’ve put yourself out there you might find that your behavior is pretty terrible. 

[fathermulcahyofficial]

[uss-edsall]

At 1 PM on a Friday I get an email from my boss. I'm busy as hell so I don't check it immediately. Then I get a phone call from my boss, which has almost never happened before. I'm a white collar worker, a historian. There's never a 'historical emergency' requiring a phone call to kick me in the ass and get to work.

The request is so urgent my boss needs it by the end of the work week. Which, y'know, is 5 PM on a Friday. So I have four hours to do it.

It's a forwarded request. Somebody contacted a member of the donation team asking for help, "I need a map from the Vietnam War to use for a presentation." It's somebody she's trying to coax into giving a five figure donation to the museum.

The request was asked to the donation team member, who then emailed my boss, who then emailed and called me urgently.

This map required:

North and South Vietnam in it

All four areas that South Vietnam was divided into for military purposes ('Corps') clearly delineated

Four cities, all of them horrifically misspelled, and only identifiable because I know what battle the requester is asking about (it’s in III Corps on the border with Cambodia) (the requester danced around the battle but I’m knowledgeable enough to identify it)

Has Laos and Cambodia in it

Has the Ho Chi Minh Trail in it

So. I was mad about the 'you have literally four hours to find a map with a lot of requirements.'

I was then mad at myself about finding a copyright free map from Texas Tech University within half an hour, proving her right for asking me to do it.

Then, after I found a map that perfectly met the requirements, I was equally amazed, baffled, and horrified when I read further into the forwarded email chain.

The donation team team member they were speaking to used AI to generate a map.

The above put half of North Vietnam in South Vietnam, made the Ho Chi Minh Trail a country, made 60% of Cambodia part of South Vietnam, put the DMZ extremely high up in North Vietnam, completely disconnected the southern tip of Vietnam, misplaced all of the Corps zones, etc etc

At the very last second the donation team member had a moment of divine clarity, remembering there's three historians on payroll to ask for this kind of thing from. So she contacted my boss while saying, "I had fun with this, but I decided I should check for accuracy before I send it to the donor! I need a fact check by the end of the day, then I send it"

My boss, while not the most knowledgeable on the Vietnam War, does know her geography. She took one look, and knew it was so off she called me to tell me how urgent it is that I look at the email and respond

good fucking god, jesus tap dancing goddamn christ, I'm glad I was asked to look at it and then find a real map

[the-murmuration-project]

My fear has never been that AI would replace human intelligence. My fear has been that the people who Know Things and the people who Make The Decisions are almost never the same people.

We’re throwing real intelligence out on the street to starve while worshipping the shambling Frankenstein-ed corpse of knowledge puppeteered by those who see us as disposable assets.

[postarcadian]

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

[hungwy]

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

[catchymemes]

This was posted on a ‘second hand finds’ Facebook page…

…only to be followed by this amazing message.

The roller coaster ride started.

With a happy ending…

…and a sweet poem to finish.

[memecucker]

Invention of bread is weird bc it’s like some Neolithic ppl were like “hey you know that tall grass thing that’s sorta edible but not really how about we take it and grind it into a very very fine powder which is extra backbreaking right now bc the wheel won’t be invented for awhile and then we mix it with water and heat it up and you know what let’s also toss some mold in there just to see what happens”

[quoms]

there are a number of distinct steps though, each of which can be observed in isolation. “grind tough seeds to make them edible” is practiced with other foods besides grains (like acorns). the natural next step after that is to add water, which gives you porridge: a common ancient roman meal was puls, very similar to modern cream of wheat. once you have that you also have a simple dough, and baking it to preserve it is a logical experiment (as is baking some you forgot about and left out for a few days, just so you don’t waste it... voila, leavened bread)

there could have been, and probably was (though i’m not an archaeologist) a substantial time between each of these innovations. it’s not too hard to imagine people being chill with “grind seeds for soup, select plants for bigger seeds” for a good while

[quasi-normalcy]

Do you ever wonder how many amazing things are fated to go forever uninvented because each step necessary to invent them is a completely unintuitive thing to do?

[noctumsolis]

Okay, that's not how bread was invented. I wrote a potted history, I could try to dig that out if anyone is interested?

[quasi-normalcy]

Please do

[panecultus]

I'm putting this on my bread blog, because of course I am. Also tagging @appendingfic who I think expressed interest.

Tens of thousands of years ago people foraged and hunted for their food and ate whatever they could. Among their forage were wild cereals, which included the ancestors of modern cultivated wheat, barley and others.

People like sweet things. Grains are starchy, but if sprouted they start converting those starches to sugars, so people would've left grains in water to sprout. These sprouts are also easier to digest, thus more nutritious, which bestowed an invisible advantage on those sprouting their grains.

If grains are left in water too long, however, they begin to ferment. Alcohol is produced. People like alcohol.

In ancient Mesopotamia the fermented grains were experimented with, resulting in an early form of beer. The process of making that beer was quite complicated and involved a combination of sprouted and mashed grains.

People wanted beer all year round, but early beers did not have long shelf lives and the grain could only be harvested at certain times. So the ancient Mesopotamians invented a way of storing the ingredients for beer.

It was made of the grain mash, honey, dates and spices that were fermented to make beer. For storage, prior to fermentation, the mixture was baked dry, cut into smaller pieces and baked again to remove all water. This produced bapir, a product very much like biscotti, which could be stored for later rehydration and fermentation. Sometimes it was eaten instead.

I've made bapir, and I've eaten it. It is brittle but delicious. It's also a form of unleavened bread.

Bread was invented as a way to store the ingredients for beer, which was most likely a development from a chance discovery. Leavened bread (that is, with bubbles) may well have been discovered when a mixture like that for bapir was accidentally allowed to ferment before baking. Yeast is responsible for both alcohol production and leavening.

There's a lot more to it, in terms of the cultivation of grains and the development of milling, than I've written here. It's been a process of millennia to go from chewing sprouts to eating soft white bread like that pictured. But every step along the way was small and simple.

[quasi-normalcy]

I never would have guessed that beer pre-existed bread. I've always just assumed that beer was an accidental discovery by breadmakers.

[jenniferrpovey]

Nope, beer came first. Mead is also very old.

[headspace-hotel]

Thanks, ancient humans!

[thirtyknives]

Australian First Nations people developed their own bread making culture independent of the beer-base route. As far as I'm aware, pre colonial Australia had little to nothing by way of fermented drinks at all, so the likelihood of beer being part of the evolution of native breads is unlikely. Their breads, made from native grasses, are both leavened and unleavened. There's also different bread making practices using different grains, dependent on location - Australia is big and Indigenous culture over here is no more a monolith than it is anywhere else. Kamilaroi bread is different to Yuin bread, for example.

The colonization of Australia actively suppressed Indigenous knowledge, and creating an image of the idle wandering tribes was required to justify taking Aboriginal lands. This means a lot of the archeology of how First Nations people developed their breads has not just been lost but deliberately suppressed. The idea that they were settled enough to have ovens, let alone a bread-making tradition, is only now really being examined. I wouldn't be surprised if the grains-porridge-bread route was true for Aussie breads, though.