I like to do things

A cis dude [he/him/his] in his 30's from the land where the sky is not cloudy all day. If I start following you or reblog a post of yours and you'd rather I not, you can let me know. Or just block, you do you

[forestgreenlesbian]

Saturday Night, Ollie Jones

Sun’s Private Concert, Marcos Palazzio

[briannyssey]

Oh easy mistake. Yearning actually rises from the floor and longing hangs from the ceiling

[briannyssey]

🥺🥺

[playwrongs]

I think we should build another Broadway theatre with an incredibly penile tower to replace the one that got razed in the '30s

[playwrongs]

Now this was when Broadway was Broadway

[official-penis-posts]

Should have called it GIRTHWAY *high fives the air*

[were--ralph]

[were--ralph]

the way he sayd hello kills me every fucking time

[barry2018-2023]

absolute cunt serves absolutely

[barry2018-2023]

no?

[barry2018-2023]

if hunter biden or rupaul tweeted this you'd be all over it

[the-haiku-bot]

if hunter biden

or rupaul tweeted this you’d

be all over it

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[valtsv]

insane unsolicited notification i just got that took me way too long to realise was about the michael jackson movie and not a five nights at freddy's jumpscare

[valtsv]

benefits of using 10 different kinds of adblocking software and exclusively pirating media: you start receiving marketing from the creepypasta universe

[dragongirlsweetie]

i just got shot with a puppy rifle but it didnt hurt me because im not a puppy

[aceynk]

me i just got shot by an elephant gun but im not even an elephant so im ok

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

i just got shot with a 9mm handgun but i'm ok because i am taller than 9mm

[kunosoura]

hi! I'm a 9mm tall puppyphant and i'm excited to be here!

[puparachne]

[beemovieerotica]

i know medical reports have to write things this way, but when i see "dull mood, denies smoking" on my doctor's visit summary i can't help but hear "boring bitch and a croaking liar"

[leolaroot]

the episode naming convention is really good bc its an instantly recognisable format and yiu can do anything with it. mr monk has gay sex? episode title. Mr Monk and the dracula. well i assume in that one he met a dracula. Mr monk gets nastyyyyyy and shakes his ass on instagram live

[leolaroot]

mr monk is lactating

[valtsv]

blood being frequently described as having a "coppery smell" in fiction is kind of funny considering that there is a metallic component to blood and it's not copper

[valtsv]

in fact if your blood smells or tastes like copper you probably have more urgent things to worry about than it being outside your body. it's probably better that it's not inside you anymore actually.

[valtsv]

story where blood is described as smelling or tasting "coppery" and it's actually early foreshadowing that all the characters are suffering from heavy metal poisoning

[valtsv]

[mccleans]

messi should be grateful to share the same pitch as the internationally renowned legend miss piggy

[girlballs-archive]

Fat bitches frotting

[girlballs-archive]

sposnored by thee fucking frito lay corporation

[im-mender]

because fat bitches are Fri to Lay down and frot with me

[kira-kui-n]

"get him pregnant" well thats not my thing but to each their own

"get her pregnant" *takes up my sword and shield* i wont let you do that to her. ......................

[chiarrara]

why was messi lowkey serving saddam hussein hiding spot

[90s-kid-sad-adult]

tact

[ryebreadgf]

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

[prophecygirly]

angel giving buffy a claddagh ring is really the one and only time angel being irish is relevant. meaning they subjected us to that accent for nothing