if there is a next life,

i would still choose to do taxes and open a laundromat with you {{JOANNA. 31. POLAND.}}

[chiarrara]

why was messi lowkey serving saddam hussein hiding spot

[beardedmrbean]

[cal3ris]

is this gonna get me fired you think

[i-am-the-oyster]

[catcrumb]

[processintegrated]

[loveridden1999]

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

[galetops]

this is a foundational text to me i can’t believe it hasn’t even cracked 4k retweets

[noah-wyles]

this is how argentina's legacy ends not with a whimper but with a big loud funny bang

[superohclair]

HAHAHAHAHAAH

[nodded]

[undertheinfluencex1]

[strawbeb]

yes i am smart. yes i am stupid. it’s called being flexible.

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

[hppjmxrgosg]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

[hairspraywhore]

>no idea what a tumblr accent even is

>”oozes off of me like a thick miasma”

[psych-is-the-name]

im angry at myself for walking into that so perfectly

[parkerposey]

I feel like a horse with no name is probably the best song in the world. Not even my Favorite song just the best

[parkerposey]

He’s literally just telling it like it is

[comicalwenger]

england when it's time to play a meaningless game for consolation points:

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

:D

[cryptile]

Something my dear friend said to me that i think fits