i'm not lost anymore

jay ☆ she/her ☆ usa, death to the trump admin. ☆ cyd131 on ao3

[vengekiss]

doing a phd on the feeling you have when you think about destiel

[roycohn]

"pastel morticia and gomez addams" is like literally exactly it, this is why i love seeing her in this relationship

[hudconvent]

ilya: i notice when you put our laundry away you only give me the nike dri fit socks with holes in them and keep the good socks for yourself. why is that

shane: oh that’s easy. that’s because they’re your socks

ilya: only my socks are the ones with holes in them? you are inspecting your socks after each use? and you are certain of this?

shane: well no but only one of us has been gouging the other with their long ass pinky toenail in the middle of the night and its not me. so its a reasonable deduction to make.

ilya:

[satyriconmp3]

utilising the gift of imagination to hallucinate moments of tenderness between fictional people

[grabmyboner]

shane thinks ilya has gone for a run and won’t be back for ages but he’s so hard so he’s like ah i’ll just rub one out for relief yknow so he unlocks his phone and the zillow app is still open he changes to youtube and searches for ilya rozanov fights and he’d never tell ilya he does this but it’s what gets him off the fastest anyways he’s a minute in and hard as a rock and he’s just laying in his and ilya’s bed jacking it and doesn’t notice ilya walk into the room until hes at the foot of the bed staring with eyebrows raised and a smile and shane fumbles to close out the video of ilya fighting and it just opens the zillow app instead and ilya saunters over and subtly peeks at the phone and sees the zillow homepage and thinks that his husband was masturbating to realestate listings but doesn’t say anything just goes “don’t mind me im just gonna have a shower” and then shane is so mortified that his boner is gone. for the next week ilya puts on realestate shows on their tv while they’re having sex and shane is so confused why and eventually brings it up and ilya is like “i do not want to kink shame u are my husband i will support u however you need even if you get aroused by architecture” and shane is like “what the fuck are you talking about” and ilya is like “when i caught u jacking off the other day to zillow listings” and shane is so embarrassed and has to explain “no i was jacking off to videos of you fighting i didn’t want u to see so i closed it fast and the zillow app was the next app open!” and ilya is like “oh thank god”

[clytemnestraaa]

shane would love to hide a serious horrific abdominal wound throughout a battle and say tis nothing a mere scratch then finally when the battle is won look out at his exhausted celebrating blood-streaked men and topple quietly off his horse

[beatsheetromanroy]

it's hard to wrap my head around, at 400 million years, just how old Castiel actually is. 400 million years puts his creation in the Devonian Period, a time when complex relationships were first being formed on land. Castiel is as old as terrestrial ecosystems. He's older than songbirds, than flowering plants and all land vertebrates. The famous "don't step on that fish, Castiel," is still 35 million years away when the tiktaalik becomes the first first four-legged vertebrate to clamber onto land. The trees of his day didn't have the hard insides we know, but were weird and soft and spongy inside. Without animal vocalizations, the world sounded like wind, like water, like insect wings. Castiel is older than the seven stars that make up Orion and older than Sirius by hundreds of millions of years. He was a young when the mountain range that is shared by Scotland and Appalachia was still connected. He's older than motherfucking Pangaea.

Maybe Naomi knew then, that he was doomed from the start. Of course he'd feel a fondness and a desire to protect life when he was there for it. Of course, he'd love the dirt bound, the struggling beauty, the evolution, the animals in the sun.

[1410-1221-dec2008]

Who Gives Better Head: Shane or Ilya ? Discuss.

Team #Shane!

Team #Ilya!

Remaining time: 4 days 17 hours

[socialistexan]

[vitabreva]

[themummersfolly]

How dare you leave this in the tags.

[regainingparadise]

When #myshane retires, he doesn’t go into coaching or podcasting or whatever.

He becomes a consultant who shitty teams trying to not suck, good teams who want to last further into the playoffs, great teams who want to finally win the cup, call to Fix Them.

He is paid absolutely bonkers amounts of money to watch a team play for five minutes and immediately diagnose what’s wrong with them. He is always right.

Ok 5 minutes is probably an exaggeration. The coaches send him a bunch of tape to review in advance. They probably focus on their best players or the ones they think need the most improvement, but half the time Shane requests more, focusing on players they hadn’t paid much attention to before. Then one day at practice, the players look up into the stands and are filled with awe, terror, and wonder, because Shane Hollander is sitting there staring directly at them with a scarily thoughtful look on his face.

He meets with the coaches and gm and reports his conclusions. Who to trade and for who , how to get better results from certain players, how to run power plays and penalty kills, changes in line makeups.

Some lucky players get to meet with him. He takes about five minutes to list off or demonstrate everything they need to do to stop sucking. He has no time for chit chat or hero worship. Focus, listen, learn, and do exactly what he says and you will be good. Fail to do what he says and you will shame your entire bloodline.

I think that, if he’s not the one actually playing, this would be a dream job. It involves Knowing Things About Hockey, Judging Shitty Hockey Players, Getting Recognized As The Best at Hockey, Being Correct, and Making Hockey Better. He should get to do all these things

[ttpds]

who’s gonna HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU (who’s gonna hold you?) (who’s gonna hold you?) (who’s gonna hold you?) (who’s gonna hold you?) (who’s gonna hold you?) (ooh ooh) (who’s gonna hold you?) (ooh ooh) (who’s gonna hold you? gonna know you? gonna troll you?) (ooh ooh) (ooh ooh) you left your TYPEWRITER at my APARTMENT…. straight from THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT…. WHO ELSE DECODES YOU (ooh ooh)??? (ooh ooh) (ooh ooh) (ooh ooh)

[inthetags]

Reblog and name the one movie you’re most likely to turn to if you’re having the worst time of your life, in the tags

[carlytayjepsen]

for no reason at all, pick from some of my favourite Taylor wedding themed lyrics💍

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

The wedding was charming, if a little gauche, there's only so far new money goes

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said "marry me Juliet"

Somewhere back inside a room wearing a gown shaped like a pastry

Church bells ring, carry me home, rice on the ground looks like snow

In one glimpse, it's legendary, you and I go from one kiss to getting married

With every guitar string scar on my hand, I take this magnetic force of a man

She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head

Our whole town came and our mamas cried, you said "I do" and I did too

You shit-talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles

Talking 'bout your daddy's farm and you were gonna marry me, and we were happy

Time, doesn't it give some perspective? and no, you can't come to the wedding

Remaining time: 3 days 15 hours

[aslongasitsblack]

when david turns 65 or whatever they have a big party at the cottage and ilya and shane and basically everyone david has ever known are invited especially a former colleague slash friend of davids who it now is very obvious that shane actually had a crush on when he was a kid is invited and before everyone starts arriving its just yuna and david and shane and ilya and yuna brings it up because she just realises it in the moment like oh my god you were so happy when jack showed up (lets call him jack) at the time we never thought anything about it but now it seems so obvious and shane is like MOM. and then jack arrives at some point during the festivities of course and ilya is looking at him and then looking at shane and then shane is slapping him away and then when everyone has left and its just shane and ilya ilya says “you had a crush on him obviously, yeah, you wanted to suck his cock hm?” and shane says “fuck off” and ilya takes his dick out of his pants and says “show me how you would’ve sucked his cock” and shane goes limp and drops to his knees and says “okay”

[aslongasitsblack]

when david turns 65 or whatever they have a big party at the cottage and ilya and shane and basically everyone david has ever known are invited especially a former colleague slash friend of davids who it now is very obvious that shane actually had a crush on when he was a kid is invited and before everyone starts arriving its just yuna and david and shane and ilya and yuna brings it up because she just realises it in the moment like oh my god you were so happy when jack showed up (lets call him jack) at the time we never thought anything about it but now it seems so obvious and shane is like MOM. and then jack arrives at some point during the festivities of course and ilya is looking at him and then looking at shane and then shane is slapping him away and then when everyone has left and its just shane and ilya ilya says “you had a crush on him obviously, yeah, you wanted to suck his cock hm?” and shane says “fuck off” and ilya takes his dick out of his pants and says “show me how you would’ve sucked his cock” and shane goes limp and drops to his knees and says “okay”

[virginshane]

ilya being such a dog for shane. ilya checking out shane. ilya openly staring at shane’s ass. ilya flirting with shane, making lewd jokes. ilya waggling his eyebrows at shane. ilya fuckboy grinning at shane!!!! (his husband)

[freakoutgirl]

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

[freakoutgirl]

and love..........