Caine Take The Wheel

[TW: body horror] For the foolish kine disgusted by the inherent beauty of the flesh I suggest you turn away now. And for the sweet children of the night please enter, remove your pants.

[pantwardowskimoved]

help me

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

honestly even the highest concept sci-fi seems tame once you learn BioSteel™ Goats exist irl

[zenithreach]

What the fuck are you talking about

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you know. the spider goats. the goats spliced with spider genes.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

they shoot bulletproof webbing out of their udders!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ok ok that last part’s not technically true, but the truth is still pretty nifty:

yes these goats really exist! in most ways they are normal goats, except for how they secrete spider silk in their milk

(or rather, they secrete a special protein in their milk, which is then extracted and woven into silk fibers)

their DNA contains transplanted genes taken from the Golden Orb Weaver Spider, whose silk is incredibly strong–but can’t be naturally produced in large quantities. because…spiders are tiny ya’ll.

these superpowered web-slinging spidergoats genetically modified but otherwise normal and healthy goats can produce much larger amounts of this material (marketed as BioSteel), which is stronger than steel and more bulletproof than kevlar. plus it’s lightweight, elastic, and bio-compatible (compatible with living tissue), meaning it has a ton of potential industrial and medical applications.

(imagine 40 years from now you need knee surgery, and your doctor sits you down and explains that your shiny new anterior cruciate ligament was actually artificially woven out of SPIDER GOAT MILK SILK. also in this magical hypothetical future we have universal healthcare. and the wealth of all billionaires has been globally redistributed. this is my hypothetical scenario, i do what i want.)

like i said. pretty nifty!

and here is a photo of one such genetically modified BioSteel™ Goat, her name is Freckles

ko-fi

[maejacrezz007]

May I add the fantastic glow in the dark cats. They’ve been tagged with a gene from jelly fish that causes them to glow and that can be passed down. Was used to help study how other genes were passed.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

for those wondering, yes glow-in-the-dark jellyfish cats are a real thing and they are helping scientists with AIDS research

[ellendd]

I love how this reads as if the cats are actively choosing to assist with scientific research.

[caeruleosanguine]

It’s late and my husband rolls over and says: ‘Vampires are dead and can only take blood by drinking it, right?’

Me: ‘Right.’

Husband: ‘So if I jizz vitae into another vampire they can’t absorb it through their ass, right?’

Me, growing suspicious: ‘…Right.’

Husband: ‘I’m gonna Jizz in this shovelhead and make him clench his asscheeks to deliver my vitae to that Tremere as payment for that boon.’

Me: ‘You’re gonna make me play this, aren’t you? You’re going to make me play an SPC who has to carry your vitae in his ass and SHIT it out to a fucking warlock who will either kill him, or use him as a messenger to tell you he’s going to kill you.’

Husband: ‘Yeah!’

[putrefiedporcelainn]

[big-fang-andrei]

Well this is just magnificent. My beautiful abode is haunted by troublesome wraiths once more. My mother was right, I should not purchase clearly cursed objects unless they’re on sale. Now let’s see… who could perchance bust these ghosts harder than I do when the new Victoria’s Secret spring catalogue release. To the yellow pages!

[big-fang-andrei]

Hi Andrei how was your Christmas?

Absolutely terrible, Childe. First some degenerate staked me for god knows how long and now I find out my favorite Revenant: The Ravishing live play game ended. I’m up to my gills (literally, not figuratively) with paperwork and I think my bathroom is haunted. Again. Last time I buy SpongeBob themed furniture from antique markets.

Ah, who am I kidding.

[necrosaltis-deactivated20260223]

@mortifying-macaroni I just want you to know

[mortifying-macaroni]

@cryinginthebackseat , D!!! My other fellow soldier!!! Ariana Grandrei is serving eternally and unapologetically! Aaaa love you!!!!

[vampire-in-the-corner]

it’s a shame that VTMB isn’t as popular on here as it should be cause y’all would eat so many of those characters up. I think the Lestat girlies would appreciate LaCroix, but more importantly, all sapphic vampire appreciators would lose their shit over Pisha

[relleytrots]

VTMB fandom, hear me! This is a call to arms!

In a poll-off of Vampire Men Tumblr Is Normal About, who is our people's champion to put up against the Meow Meow to End All Meow Meows, aka the vampire Armand?

Sebastian Lacroix

Nines Rodriguez

Cuthbert Beckett

Gorgeous Gary Golden

Isaac Abrams

Andrei

Maximilian Strauss

Ash Rivers

Mitnick

bald (not Strauss)/vanilla extract/nuance/A GIRL YOU MUPPET/answers

Voting ended onOct 24, 2024

[big-fang-andrei]

Bitches can’t resist my reptilian head crest

[mortifying-macaroni]

My favorite losers are back and more fashionable than ever!!

[big-fang-andrei]

As the kine say:

Im fuckin ballin!!!

[pretend-pretend-vampire]

extremely tzimisce behaviour I think. it fucks. I want more, I want a whole house full of meat.

cc creators get on it

[pretend-pretend-vampire]

WHEN WILL I BE ABLE TO RECREATE THE CATHEDRAL OF FLESH IN THE SIMS 4

[big-fang-andrei]

Pah, The Sims. A silly little game meant for silly little minds. It’s rather amusing seeing mortals create such pointlessly complex methods all in an attempt to feel closer to the God that abandoned them long ago. Pluck away at your keys, kine. Escape from your dreary reality by mimicking it on a machine. Hide away from monotony by engaging in a virtual world of the same banal tasks you ran away from in the first place. I hear that you may even pay in your filthy worthless currency to make all matter of vampire characters with ugly colored and hairs and awkward names like “nocturne” or “Stefan”. Like a child carving a path in the dirt for ants to mindlessly walk in. Enjoy your escape for now and return to me when you beat Spore as a slab of meat.

[big-fang-andrei]

"commitment"? Can you explain? Were you and Strauss ever an item?

Hey kiddo, don’t mind me. Andy is taking a gristle bath upstairs, he got one of them cinnamon and clove bathbombs and I’m here raidin’ his panty drawer. Figured I’d go through his internet history and saw his tumblr on.

Anyway, ol’ Andy boy won’t admit and prolly hide under a few paragraphs of ye olde talk, so I’ll give ya a rundown. Yeah Andy and Megamind there used to have one of them steamy romances you’d see in crummy ol’ soap operas. Only with a lot more magical hoo haw blowin’ shit up! Andy and Sauce would spend whole ass weeks throwin’ fireballs and balls of organs at each other in a matter so Homeo-Romantico it would make Michelangelo tell them to quit bein’ so gay already. Now though Saucey boy said he has too much paperwork that’s more important than him oh, but Andy is more concerned with teaching his sect how to not be useless like the can so he didn’t even see his text. Both try to pretend the other doesn’t exist now, it’s a bit sad really

Shit, I smell cloves now. I’m gonna have to leave kid. Remember if a stranger offers you free candy, haggle with him. What else he got? You’re better than a few smarties

[big-fang-andrei]

I want to ask for your opinion on these individuals-Dracula, Beckett, Smiling Jack and Strauss.

Ah childe, welcome. I do so apologize, I was in torpor for the last year following taking 6 levels of aggravated damage attempting the one chip challenge. Now let’s see, yes I do have some tea to spill

Dracula - What is there to say about that arrogant little twerp that hasn’t already? A whiney pampered princey-poo that got embraced by a coward. Too good for the sabbat he joined the Inconnu just to leave when he realized he would always lose the dick measuring contests. His book isn’t even good mind you. It’s all just a poorly worded piece of fanfiction between him and his childer. Really if you ever meet him he says more like Adam Sandler in Hotel Transylvania than say Christopher Lee.

Beckett - Ah, the spaded dog. Beckett is another pretentious little fool who thinks himself special and above his clan because he doesn’t like digging through the excrement like he belongs. I mean he gets a few pity fucks from Lucita a few times so he must be doing something right

Smiling Jack - A lousy pirate, failure of a vampire, and victim of his own unearned achievements. No wonder he’s the Anarch’s poster boy. I’ve dealt with him more times that I’ve changed my pants in both my unlife and regular life. If you ever see him wearing a mesh top made of cat sinew, tell him I’m waiting for him to give it back.

Strauss - Bah, why don’t you ask for my opinion of dirt or cow excrement on the bottom of my boots while you’re at it? I would have more positive to say about them than I that foul, backstabbing, waste of Caine’s gift. At least cow shit has doesn’t have commitment issues when it comes with staying with someone.

Nines Rodriguez - The so called “leader” of the free states. None of these so called “Anarchs” never really thought of that phrase for longer than an eighth of a second it seems. “Free” states shouldn’t have leaders but the Anarchs love to say they are free of the dictatorships of the Elders but then elect a young dictator instead. Nines and his cronies have no future in this domain, only to either be ash polished off the blades of Cathayans or comfortable throw pillows on my couch.

[manyworldsofdarkness]

(Werewolf The Last warrior by Luciopro)

[manyworldsofdarkness]

Join the Many Worlds of Darkness Discord Server!

Check out the Many Worlds of Darkness community on Discord - hang out with 16 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.

To all fans of World of Darkness, Chronicles of Darkness and anything else by White Wolf and Onyx Path. This here is a fan server for both veterans and people interested in learning WoD lore, a fun inclusive server open to everyone with an interest in any of the games! Come talk about your characters, post fan art, discuss the games you want to play or your favorite editions and make some like minded friends who also happened to be obsessed with psychotic monsters.

We’re hoping to spread info about World of Darkness all over tumblr so more of you self proclaimed monster fuckers can get on in this.

[szlachtabracket]

The Szlachta Bracket

Everyone on here is having great fun with the poll function, so why not have a vote on which is the Best Szlachta?

The Rules:

Submissions will be open until either one month passes (from the time of this post) or 20 szlachta are submitted, whichever comes first.

Szlachta only. No vozhd, Tzimisce, lupines with mange, lupines without mange, or gargoyles.

Tremere-skin clothing is encouraged, but not mandatory.

Once we have all twenty contestants, these szlachta will be matched against each other and the Cainites of tumblr will decide who is the goodest, best, and most special fleshcraft-thing. The winning szlachta will receive treats and head-pats from the Bishop; its creator will receive a non-grudging acknowledgement that their work is decent.

The submission box is open.

[amygdalae]

turns out hoop and stick has been a videogame joke since at least 2004

[big-fang-andrei]

I am not a fan of the hoop snake DLC

[manyworldsofdarkness]

Tabletop Games - Anime Weekend Atlanta

Hey folks! For anyone interested in playing Tabletop games at Anime Weekend Atlanta I will be running games this weekend there. Open to newcomers and veterans alike looking for a taste of more story focused games using the Storytelling system by White Wolf. We’ll be running the following:

Pre-gens: yes

Max players: 5

You are one of the Kindred, the immortal predators that stalk the world. But there's a guy at the top. The Prince. between the streetlights. You are also a vampire, a junkie. Every night, you beg and you borrow and you steal just a little more life, just a few more sweet moments. HE'S GOT EVERYTHING. The money, the secrets, the blood. Tonight, you're going to take it from him. TOMORROW, THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY! A Modern Gothic storytelling game where you play as a Vampire in this personal horror and political intrigue game.

Time: 10/28/22 6pm - 10pm

Pre-gens: yes

Max players: 4

You were once an “angel” that belonged to a god made of gears and circuits that bleed into this world. You were once it’s slave to its occult matrix, hacking into reality and completing its hidden purposes. But you “fell” and became self aware of what you were, a Demon in human cover. Play as a Unchained, a biomechanical monster in a human disguise working undercover against the God-Machine and its influence in this storytelling game of techgnostic espionage.

10/29/22 1pm-4pm

Pre-gens: yes

Max players: 5

Like every city, Rochester has its ghosts — and like other cities, it has those who prey upon and those who aid the dead. The machinations of a young but powerful Reaper, the Iridescent Maggot, threaten one of the dead patrons of Rochester’s ghost community, and there are none who can stand against it. None, that is, save the Sin-Eaters of Rochester, who will brave even the Underworld to keep their city safe. Play as a Sin-Eater, a person who has made a unholy pact to share a body with a powerful ghost in order to fight back and help the ghosts trapped in twilight in this storytelling game of second chances.

10/29/22 6pm-10pm

Games are inclusive and beginner friendly. Dice and character sheets will be provided. Come and play with us if you like horror movies or are just hankering to try out a new system!

[big-fang-andrei]

Some dink in the panty waste region of Atlanta is begging you to play his silly Revenant: The Ravishing game.