The Force Awakens

[mitdemadlerimherzen]

rogue one texts posts 1/?

been wanting to make some of these for years

apologies if any of these have ever been done before

[supertaliart]

Happy May the Fourth! I added a second page to this comic from last year!

[slyandthefamilybook]

[aridotdash]

[throwupgirl]

finn starwars we will never forgive those movies for what they did to you. i saw your lightsaber. i saw your force sensitive. i saw your secondhand chanel boots that unbeknownst to all of us were put in the thrift store bin by luke skywalker but you rock them twice as hard.

[littlekhada]

[spacerebels-and-jedi]

So I was thinking… If Rogue one it’s supposed to be set shortly before the original star wars that means that while Jyn Erso is kicking ass and being generally awesome, and Leia is busy leading a rebellion, Luke Skywalker is somewhere in Tatooine whining about power generators

[littlesparklight]

Time to do this again I guess; Luke would be WORKING.

You know. On the farm.

And wishing (”whining”) he could spend more times with his friends (who are very questionably friends, but what are you gonna do when there’s no one else your age to hang out with and Biggs is gone) because while he knows he needs to help Owen and Beru with the farm, he has other desires, and even if hanging with his friends aren’t exactly that (like leaving Tatooine), it’s the next best thing.

I mean, aside from flying the skyhopper but I imagine it doesn’t hold quite the same charm without Biggs, as much as he loves flying and probably does it as much as he can.

But you know.

Working. Because he has to for their livelihood. But I guess making “jokes” about Luke being “whiny” is funny.

(And once again, it was never about the power generators. Owen literally says right after it “you can waste time with your friends when your chores are done”.)

[kalinara]

Seriously.

I wish folks would take note of Luke’s dialogue with Owen at the beginning of A New Hope.  He suggests that now that Owen has the two droids, he can hire a couple of farmhands and Luke can finally get off planet like he’s wanted to.

It would take Owen multiple people and two droids to replace the work that Luke does on the farm.  That is pretty clear indication that Luke is working a fairly grueling, punishing schedule.

This is not a knock on Owen, because it certainly seems like Owen and Beru work as hard as Luke does.  But they are poor.  They live on a planet where their source of income is pulling moisture out of the sky, while raiders, slavers, and Jabba the Hutt are all within spitting distance.

And the poor kid gets perpetually knocked for the fact that he wants to take a break and hang out with his friends a bit.  Or the fact that he’s disappointed he can’t get off this hellhole planet.

I haven’t been keeping up with Rogue One spoilers, so I can’t talk about Jyn, but Leia is another story.

Leia’s accomplishments are impressive, and this is not intended to dismiss that.  But Leia had time and opportunity to accomplish those things.  She can afford to focus on politics and intrigue because as a Princess, she doesn’t need to worry about food, water, or shelter.  She has access to educational materials that Luke can’t even dream of.  She knows influential people and can make social connections.  The only powerful social connection Luke could possibly make is a creepy Hutt with a dancer fetish.

It’s a funny juxtaposition that the ladies are out accomplishing more things, earlier, than Luke is, but we shouldn’t diminish the role poverty plays in Luke’s lack of opportunity, since that kind of thing exists in real life too.

[notophelia]

THIS. All of this.

And, on the flip side: Luke is the single solitary hero in any generation of Star Wars canon whom we ever see doing teenager-appropriate things as a teenager.

Padmé, Anakin, Ahsoka, Kanan, Leia, Ezra, Finn, Rey… Only a couple of them even had normal early childhoods. Every single one of them was shouldering adult responsibilities and/or being shaped for a purpose they didn’t choose as an adolescent.

Owen and Beru may not have had much to give Luke, but they made damn sure to spare him that. That is something to celebrate. Why the hell do people insist on mocking him for it??

[littledisgustingart]

Awebo!

[stealingpotatoes]

Worst Star Wars death? (50K wow!)

shmi skywalker's </3 bc i love her and her whole everything makes me really sad but to counteract my sadness here's some shmi lives au <3

(commission info // tip jar!)

[saltyduane]

Fit check for my Jedi era

[teaboot]

I genuinely believe that the new SW trilogy wouldn’t have flopped out into irrelevance like it did if they hadn’t dumped Finn on the side of the freeway like a new pet rabbit the week after easter

[teaboot]

Anyway in my heart Finn became a Jedi alongside Rey and inspired a Stormtrooper insurrection and Kyle Ron went back to his mom like he should have day fucking one and that angry redhead dude blew up with the star destroyer and Poe got to make it happen and at the end Rey doesn’t give a shit who her bitch ass non-palpatine parents might have been because she gets her new family like she needed and palpatine stays dead at the bottom of his musty hole like he should have and Finn and Poe give each other approximately 130% the amount of lingering meaningful looks and then one of their run-together-to-reunite moments results in a heat-of-the-moment make out like it should have and Luke and Leia meet in person a minimum of once so she can sibling slap him at least once for being a useless dramatic old hermit for a billion years and tell him to get the Chanel boots back on and stop being a sad hobo and then for no reason at all there is an ewok style moon of Endor forest party at the end like God intended

[little-onion-heart]

[romanceyourdemons]

people needdddd to wear headphones in public because while on an otherwise very lovely walk in the park today i saw a guy sitting under a tree watching a porn parody of the star wars prequels

[romanceyourdemons]

if nothing else trying to tune out the sounds of anakin and padme going to town as i contemplate the babbling brook gave me a brief but vivid window into what it’s like to be obi wan kenobi

[kadywicker]

sometimes i truly forget that everyone sees characters straight as default bc i saw a comment like “next thing you know they’ll make luke skywalker gay” and im just…….. he…. he is ?

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

I keep thinking about that text post that’s like “don’t worry Mr. Skywalker. I saw your Chanel boots”

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

This one

[bunniope]

obi-wan: the jedi council says marriage is a sin

anakin: what about all your grindr hook-ups

obi-wan: im not marrying them

[syn0vial]

my oldest boba fett headcanon, from before i even knew what a headcanon was, is that this man, who regularly whiled away the hours on kamino as a boy reading novels and who has a job that often requires him to do nothing more than stand around looking menacing for hours on end, definitely has an e-reader app installed on his helmet

[redbean-nom]

boba missed luke like four times on the sail barge and then fell in the sarlacc because he accidentally clicked his 23 open tabs of space-ao3 instead of his combat display

[cannibalchicken]

[julie-su]

[kidrat]

U can watch Star Wars so many times and it doesn’t prepare u for how dumb Star Wars is. For one thing I think we gloss over how kenobi (who has definitely been at the club. Please.) describes the mos eisley cantina as the worst most villainous place ever and then u get inside and it’s a pack of muppets vaping

[andthepeople]

what you fail to take into account is he's been stuck on tatooine for 19 years and so he has specific and very personal beef with each and every creature in that cantina

[stealingpotatoes]

What was Luke’s reaction to a larger body of water

his moisture farmer instincts kicked in

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