Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh no.

Please help me. I'm a Muppet trapped in the body of a 24 year old faggot. (Credit for the profile image goes to the lovely Whoophoney)

[isuggestkillingyourself]

[tactfulsaboteur]

[psybomb]

Every time I see that last pic, I have to note that the funniest line is the one immediately after the highlight

[whyenn-reader]

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

[egberts]

"forgor" did irreversible damage didn't it

[k1ntsug1-r0b0t-g1rl]

yeag

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis]

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

[systlin]

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

[systlin]

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

[avantgarden-er]

i'm the stripper that Loves you

[lycanr0t]

comic about chronic fatigue

[starfish-spencer]

They just don't want him getting left out 🥺

[beardedmrbean]

Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.

Kids books is probably not the best way to word it, you can enjoy them at every age, including your childhood, as you get older you may find new truths in them, but they're still good for any age.

[cookingwithroxy]

I want you to understand this. I NEED you to understand this. My mother read me the hobbit as bedtime story, and I started pushing myself to read before pre-school so I could in fact read the hobbit for myself instead of having to wait for bedtime.

I didn't do so right away but jesus wept I PUSHED myself to learn to read SPECIFICALLY so I could read The Hobbit! It is, in fact, a children's story! And children only see page count as 'there is a lot of this fun story to read!'

[t00thpasteface]

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

[mixedmedialesbianism]

Types of Butches, as shown through the Muppets

[hinoneko]

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

[iwilleatyourenglish]

yet another cosmic unfairness: a manatee is some kind of big fat dumpling beast of the sea that wants you to pet it so bad we had to make laws against doing just that for their safety

[iwilleatyourenglish]

jail time and a desire to see them thrive are the only things staying my tender heart and gentle hand

[animentality]

[fireleaptfromhousetohouse]

[bumblebeebats]

How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton

[pl4netarypieces]

horse

[rylandgraces]

How it feels when someone prevs you

[four-rabbits-in-a-trenchcoat]

[paige-mackenzie-memes]