Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh no.

Please help me. I'm a Muppet trapped in the body of a 24 year old faggot. (Credit for the profile image goes to the lovely Whoophoney)

[nightporter1980]

i would so love to know what was going on in this persons head. i would rather be shot dead than sneak food into a movie theatre. What?

[megafaunabracket]

Tumblr's Favorite Soda Bracket Semifinals

DR PEPPER VS SPRITE

DR PEPPER

SPRITE

Remaining time: 9 hours 29 minutes

[beautiful-wickedness]

Shawn: Gus and I are in a relationship

Gus: No we're not?

Shawn: We work together, live together, eat together, sleep together, share a toothbrush

Gus: That doesn't mean-

Juliet: You share a toothbrush?

[librarian-glasses]

The way Shawn RUNS no hesitation no thought just instinct to try and get into the bank where Gus is being held hostage??? You know he’s got this idea that if they have to be in danger it’s gotta be together.

[mtfoss]

I do suffer the american condition of liking to drink huge drinks

[luxwing]

Lemme get a little sippy

[bisexualadamparrish]

saw this post & blacked out for 30 minutes & came back to awareness having had created this. the creative urge overtook me.

[fishonthetree]

I know this happens and it looks suspicious but

this image? we have every reason to think it is a cucumber, like it was made in clay models in burials period, it's painted green, it's on the small side of things (9.6 cm or 3 3/4 inch)

oh right and it was placed on a model offering table with small model bread and drinking cup

sometimes a cucumber really is a cucumber.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[navigatorsnorth]

Phenomenal spare wheel cover I walked past the other day

[egberts]

one of the most fucked up aspects of being an adult is really how life-goes-on everything is. like you can be dealing with the most fucked up trauma-drama-grief and still have to sleep and eat food to survive and like. poop. pooping while you're really sad shouldn't be a thing but it is. we don't have a say in the matter. life goes on

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[koiagain]

[creamsiclemelt]

I love kink so much

[thelambliesdown1974]

victory royale

[sp1c3-r4ck-synd1c4t3]

Horny people legally cannot consent. Horniness is a clouded state like inebriation. If you are partway through sex and you realize you might've become horny, it is illegal to continue. If you have ever made someone horny, you are a bad person.

[wiskie]

“Remember, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels 😇”

[just-sans-things]

my cherios spelled out my exact address this morning but like what the gudge ever i gobbled those honey nut freaks up and licked the bowl too

[just-sans-things]

someone contact my fucking lawyers

[1five1two]

Leopard Figurine. Mesopotamia. c. 3300-2900 BC.

[eternalgirlscout]

so called "free thinkers" when hi 1 quastion

[sentientsky]

repeating this to myself forever and ever

[ettaberrytea]

[image description: cartoon of a person crying in front of a laptop. There's an arrow pointing to the laptop that says "empty word doc) and another arrow pointing to the tears saying "author tears." The main text says "Just write it down! You can make it good later." end id.]

[everyteenager4free1]

[beastliness]

happy 10 year anniversary to the puppet master that cursed my dick