Jackie

you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain

[traumatised-mum]

you ever just sit and realise u can’t remember 80% of your childhood? like … what happened? who am i ..?

[thebootydiaries]

dinner with the bay <3

[promptster]

“Come on, throw a punch at me, I dare you!”

[reactionfaces]

[trillow-deactivated20130822]

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a ♡ pale blog ♡ of water

[cocaine-b1tch]

Cockroaches truly are the supreme race. They're seriously unkillable

[piesandswords]

when your teacher says you can’t use first person pronouns in your writing

[piesandswords]

WAIT SHIT

[kittyvines]

[shencomix]

[witchoncampus]

I DON’T KNOW WHY BUT I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

[the-sky-traveler]

my brother is teaching his cat how to high five by giving her a treat every time she successfully taps her hand to his hand, which is all well and good, but now she thinks that she is entitled to food every time she high fives someone.  i can’t eat in the same room as her anymore because she’ll just bap my hand rapid fire and then go nyoom straight in for my pizza like no Kelly that’s illegal go finish ur own dinner

[anonymous-bosch]

“No Kelly, that’s illegal.”

[askragtatter]

So, a while back, I was using clicker-training to teach my cat Taz tricks. She learned very quickly and it was a good experience all around, but we had to hide the clicker.

Taz had learned that the clicker meant she got treats. So she would find it, carry it up to people, step on it to make it click, and then SCREAM AT THEM to give her the treats she was clearly owed because the clicker had made a sound.

[jinxtimesinfinity-deactivated20]

Cats

[wandering-tangents]

Pavlov is rolling over laughing in his grave.

[unsends-deactivated20170829]

bf: babe come over

me: i can’t, i’m having an existential crisis

bf: my parents aren’t home

me: are any of us really, truly….home?

[dameronfinn]

i still don’t understand how people thought rachel leaving an incredible job in paris to get back with a piece of wet bread was the best moment in television history

[pr1nceshawn]

If Harry Potter Movies Had Honest Titles.

[haggord]

[just-shower-thoughts]

When Snoop Dog turns 60 he will be 420 in dog years

[historyandmemes]

Science teachers in 2006 when they had to explain to their students why Pluto got officially downgraded from “planet” status 

[irishfolklore-deactivated201912]

I love being in college because there are no actual adults around so everyone is just going around bullshitting their way through basic tasks. Like I can be like “I think I got better from my cold because I ate an orange yesterday” and everyone is like “Yeah makes sense” and somebody could just be like “I’m gonna put my pillow in the washing machine to clean it” and everyone’s like “Sounds like a great idea John”

[prettylittlesuffermachine-deact]

i think im overqualified for this position