[anaphcra]

every time someone tells me not to do something the likeliness of me doing it increases by 73%

[kingjinxii]

me: (makes another impulse purchase)

my bank account:

[alicegotthestrap]

au where vampire!jessica stanley exists

drop your headcanons lads

[nomadvictoria]

turned in the 90s, has a permanent ‘Rachel’ haircut

exclusively eats gross and/or predatory boys

probably hangs out at college campuses because no way is she going back to high school ever

steals a lot from clothing and makeup stores

has been solo for ages and kinda wants a coven but every vampire she’s met has been totally weird

honestly just having a lot of fun with her new un-life

[emmettmccartycullen]

Edward: it’s amazing, Bella...I’ve never met a vampire with as much self control as you....you’re the most controlled newborn and vampire the world has ever seen ever...

Rosalie and Carlisle, literally standing there: so, fuck us I guess

[disasterlesbianbellaswan]

@emmettmccartycullen

[renegadepack]

rosalie hale has big “what, like it’s hard?” energy

[metamorphobic]

October is tomorrow..... if any vampires wanna..... y'know, hit me up? I'm willing to getting married immediately. Contact me by randomly pinning me up against a wall in a library and draining all of my blood.

[we-couch]

noo dont take care of me its rotten work aha

[mjalti]

unless 😳😳

[faythinthemusic]

I want to be really clear about something: Planned Parenthood has done more to prevent abortion than the pro-life movement ever has.

[savordance-lifesupport]

Yup, preventing abortion by giving abortions. Makes sense!

[apoeticmindset]

No you fucking crusty nutsack giving people the education and the tools to not become pregnant in the first fucking place

[ghoulvalentines-archive]

One of my Christian friends made a Facebook post about how PP gave her tons of resources when she was trying to get pregnant and people were actually genuinely shocked that they provided such resources; they had fully bought into the idea that PP is just an “abortion factory”. The misinformation that’s been spread about PP is unreal.

[osheamobile]

gosh it’s almost like Planned Parenthood will help you plan for parenthood

[vrabia]

i find it very telling that people are so ready to straight-up pathologize donald trump while mentioning his wealth and social status only in passing and almost never as the main reason for why he’s so persistently self-centered and disconnected from reality.

when you grow up rich you’re kind of by default disconnected from reality. you learn that you can just… make things happen. an expensive education? top-quality healthcare? a fancy seat on the plane? you just wave your credit card in the right direction AND IT HAPPENS. you get your way, every time, immediately, and to your exact specifications. you’re also immune to failure by default because if you fuck something up you can afford to start over, so even if you reach your 70s with a trail of financial disasters behind you, you’re still rich, so they can’t have been that bad. you’re blind to your own incompetence. and you’re inevitably going to end up with very few, if any, genuine friends, especially if you’re inherently a bit of an asshole. instead you’ll be surrounded by people pursuing their own agendas, who will tell you literally anything you want to hear: that you’re a genius, that everyone loves you, that you can successfully accomplish anything you set your mind to. which you totally can, of course, but because of your money, not your personal merit.

trump is not a pathological narcissist with the under-developed mind of a child and a half dozen other mental disorders experts have not yet reached a consensus about. he’s too used to being obscenely rich and likely never had a problem in his life he knew he couldn’t solve by throwing enough money at it. and right now he’s angry that he can’t use that to get his own way anymore.

like, there’s enough stigma around mental illness without talking about it as if it’s the reason a rich entitled fuckhead is going to jump-start the nuclear apocalypse.

[entitledrichpeople]

He also believes that “master race” bullshit.  He thinks rich white people are genetically superior.  This is a guy who has literally said he thinks success is genetic.  Let’s be really explicit about this, most upperclass white people in the US do believe that bullshit that says they are genetically as well as morally superior to poor people and people of color.  Old school eugenics is still the norm among the wealthy in the US.  Trump isn’t pushing eugenics by accident, he’s pushing eugenics because it’s what him and his buddies firmly believe.  

And using ableism as the basis for attacking him isn’t attacking his views and the ideas they rely on, it’s supporting them.

[bellaauroraswan]

Certified Chaos Twins™️, Bella and Emmett McCarty, continually try to find ways to outdo each other at school without getting caught.

Bella starts by running the mile in gym just a little too fast.

Emmett retaliates by joining the football team and being a little too good at defense.

Bella joins the cheerleading squad, purely to always be there to annoy Emmett, and is the best fuckin base the squad has ever seen. How she’s able to toss the others girls so high, the coaches have no idea. But they’re not gonna question a good thing.

Emmett throws a rager, and when everyone is just drunk enough, he “drunkenly” jumps off of the roof. Everyone is amazed by how he doesn’t get a scratch.

Edward spends the next day tracking down the people who video taped Emmett’s stunt and destroys the evidence.

Bella has to get creative. She finally decides to go to a music festival and pay for half of the school to join her. Of course, no one is surprised when she glitters like a motherfucker in the sunlight because it’s a music festival. Of course she’s covered in glitter… that’s normal, right? 

Emmett throws a fucking fit, saying that Bella cheated. The next week, he tries out for American Ninja Warrior, and has Rose send out a message to everyone asking them to check him out. Of course he beats the obstacle course, and because he’s petty, sets a new speed record. 

The whole family is forced to move the next day, and the cycle repeats in their new town. Carlisle is so tired. 

[officialspec]

gender reveal came back negative

[prsephonies-deactivated20200815]

watching everyone on here talk abt being attracted to bill hader is like being the only person sober while everyone else is on lsd

[lovlae]

oh fr 😳😳

[amurder-ofcrows]

im broke? no you misheard me! i’m baroque! i’m extravagant

[doctortay-deactivated20210629]

broke financially but baroque emotionally

[hijabidyke]

its normal for you to find girls hot! you arent a predator i promise. being a wlw isnt all soft uwu girl crushes. you are allowed to be attracted to girls

[jennserr]

this especially goes out to trans women

[robotmango]

some man online: “arya’s a mary sue. rey’s a mary sue. i simply don’t believe a young girl could be that skilled.”

what they expect me to say: “well, no, actually, canon supports it, because if you look back as far as season three, she’s been training for–”

what i’m actually gonna say: “good. good. about fucking time. in the next movie i hope rey blows up a dreadnought with finger lightning that she learned earlier that day. i hope she rips palpatine’s spine out with her bare hands while everybody claps”

[thembo-x]

[shedidntevenswear]

listen i love greta thunberg i really do like what an icon BUT i think it’s absolutely ridiculous that she, a literal child, is being made to be the face of stopping climate change. and she obviously thinks its ridiculous too. i’ve seen so many adults in power talking about how inspirational she is and everything, and then pretty much just stop there. it is EMBARRASSING that the 4.5 billion people over the age of 30 on earth right now are looking to one teenager to fix the problems they created. it’s not inspirational, it’s pathetic. Greta has to be so extremely aggravated with the amount of attention and lack of actual action from policymakers, because I sure am.