Uncle Gobbo

Arts, Crafts, Quips, and Wisdom from everybody's favorite not-your-uncle.

[bimblesnaff]

Wing Fist, the divine pugilist. On a crusade, they seek to remove the stain of vile Chaos from the world of Shadoura that has been brought in to fight the unholy war.

[bimblesnaff]

Regarding a User Name

"Also, your handle brings to mind a small rabbit giving hugs and kisses, which makes me giggle. Er, I mean laugh. Chortle. Guffaw. I don't really titter like a school girl. Sports, muscle cars, other manly things... um, testosterone? Did I undo any damaged image or just deepen the cracks?"

[bimblesnaff]

Regarding Robotics at Work

"Sadly, the robots aren't of the Rock'em Sock'em variety."

[bimblesnaff]

On a Misleading Reply

"I truly thought, 'Did she not get that I was joking - oooh, okay, she's responding in kind. Phew. Say, Frank, can you grab me a Hot Pocket out of the fridge? What do you mean heat it? That's for losers.' Okay, I guess the rest of what I said wasn't relevant, especially since Frank is the name of a cactus."

[bimblesnaff]

Scarlet Tail, a powerful psychic race in the Shadow Aura wars. So great is its mind that, in long aged specimen, their body withers to the point where the limbs are obsolete. The body is propelled with telekinetic levitation and attacks made with severed claws attached to chains. Classy, it what it is.

[bimblesnaff]

Regarding Wit In Person

"I wish I was this on in regular conversation, but then I don't have time to convene with my staff of writers. Well, the team is a few skulls on my desk that I necromance for material. Nobody knows funny like the souls of the immortally damned. Guess that's how they power through all the fiery pitchforkin'."

[bimblesnaff]

Regarding my Sense of Humor

"I just don't know how folks go through life without humor but, then, I remember how much alcohol and drugs they consume and have to say to myself, 'I don't think that's how you properly use heroin, sir.' But, you know nine-year-olds -- never listening."

[bimblesnaff]

Regarding Emasculine Possessions

"How sad is it that the whole D&D thing isn't even the worst that I could fess up to. I mean, sure, there's been a stack of manuals laying in an eye shot for a few months now (note to self: clean), but there's also bleedin' crochet hook set. Er, I mean, my, uh, knife collection... which I use to hunt bears."

[bimblesnaff]

Black Magic Bandit, an ancient race of Shadoura that took to the newly arrived technology.

[bimblesnaff]

Regarding a Delayed Response

"And you just assume that I'll be unfazed by this blatant act of tardy ... response ... get-to-ism-ing-additional-suffix? Why, I should be outraged and offended, or maybe in the opposite order, I'm none too sure."

[bimblesnaff]

On the Subject of Ohio

"I normally speak of Ohio as the top-most layer of hell. But, I give that courtesy to anywhere I speak of. I'm just that nice of a guy. Or a bastard. Whichev."

[bimblesnaff]

On Being From Ohio

"Don't know how well I represent the big O. Folks call it that, right? Never? It's actually something wholly different? Oh my. That explains why I didn't get that job. Especially with all that winking I did."

[bimblesnaff]

A fierce subterranean marauder, its razor sharp claws can slice through solid stone.

[bimblesnaff]

Regarding a Theory

"It makes sense if you don't think about it. Or anything. Just white noise... whoosh..."

[bimblesnaff]

Regarding Humor and Yelling at Robots

"I yell robot jokes at them. Those don't do well with other crowds, sadly. They don't laugh if you change a zero to a one."

[bimblesnaff]

Regarding Binary Jokes

"I don't even know what binary is. I just said it to seem like an egghead. Far as I know, it has something to do with storage containers and being gaseous."

[bimblesnaff]

Bishop Jimbo of Boundless Black and later Wasteland, the avian pal of Shadrick Hopkins (in both cases). He's an evolved black bird descended from Earth's jackdaws and similar species. Plus, he wears a hat.