cowabunga

whats up im remy and im a disaster ♤♠♤

[hotboyproblems]

my clothes: *has a bunch of words and shit about how youre supposed to wash em right on the tag*

me: .. youre fabric go in the robot sink

[binchicken420]

i did not get much advice on twitter so i thought i would come here also!! they would be intended to be like. seaweed growths in case I didn’t say that well enough but im just worried that they’re gonna be seen as actual dreads

[acecroft]

infinite list of favorite characters

Joe Miller ↳ “I appreciate you inviting me into your family there, Holden. At least you thought I was worth that.”

[dadcrone]

i want 2 kiss someone at pride

[dadcrone]

I googled ‘how to get laid at pride’ and it turned up like 5 ‘the straight mans guide to boinking women at pride’ kill me

[newtgeiszler]

i hope no straight man ever gets his penis touched during the entire month june

[dadcrone]

like to charge reblog to cast

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

me, uncovering a shallow grave of moss and driftwood: hey hozier what’s the mood for pride

hozier, blinking up at the light, awakened from his slumber: the ghost of the lesbian that possessed me when I wrote work song asks that the parades be bathed in light so beautiful it is hitherto unknown outside of the golden hours, that her children be protected, that everyone has a place in the shade to rest with the fawns and magpies, and that cops are drowned.

me, tucking him back in until it’s a new moon: thanks bud

[glumshoe]

It’d really suck if I got ice or water-themed superpowers. I’d have to wear blue and white and gray instead of the reds and oranges I prefer.

[semoka]

wear the reds and oranges and pull an iceland/greenland on em

[glumshoe]

“I have cornered you in this aquarium, where your fire powers are useless!”

“Fire powers? Dude, I’m an ice hero. I freeze shit and manipulate water. Also, I love aquariums. Thanks for the free entry!”

“But… you’re dressed like Guy Fieri…?”

“Yeah haha. I have an autumnal complexion.”

[derpomatic]

Also, no superhero should have a name that gives away the power set. Misdirection - “Get him, Lasereye!” “Haha, my mirror will deflect your, wait, why are you made of stone now?”

[spookyghostiesandthings]

They call him laser eye because he once blinded himself with a laser pointer and it was the funniest shit they’d ever seen

[dragon-in-a-fez]

this bitch empty, TWEET

[catchymemes]

Choose wisely

[sa2ha]

mischief….

[caden]

yall r still mad at your high school english teachers for making u analyze shakespeare or hemingway to teach you the most basic understanding of metaphor and themes in art. thats a good thing dude. if people on here were more literate in that stuff we wouldnt have like. reylo shippers

[gunshyghosts]

[kaijuno]

I got a circle doorknob fuck w/ me robot bitch

[largishcat]

he’s a good polite boy who opens doors for his friends!!! stop hating!!

[bananonbinary]

cowards i’mm sleep BETTER knowing these good robot friends are on their way

[mote-of-ash]

what fuckin chump sees a robot dog open the door for its pal and is scared by these compassionate and caring robros

[witchgays]

slides in with roombas strapped to both my feet: sup heteros

[permanentlyexhaustedpidgeon]

Theory: great

Reality: they both take off in different directions, fuck

[witchgays]

homophobia never sleeps

[virpiablccdnerd]

you have to have rope at a length of like 1 to 2 feet. or maybe a steel bar. something. that connects the roombas and keeps them at an appropriate distance.

[witchgays]

finally a good suggestion. roomba bondage

[artichoke-that-hoe]

Orrr like a carrot to a horse drawn carriage always throw a handful of dirt infront of you

[ohwarlocks]

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018)

[princesslucina]

me: leaves my house

me: the commanding officer is ashore. xo pressly has the deck

[catsofinstagram]

[ya-wn]

please for the love of god turn ur sound on

[dykeopinions]

don’t say “but sexuality is fluid” when a girl tells you she has no interest in men

[kestrel-tree]

If someone says this to you:

“Yeah but fluids solidify at low temperatures and you’re not that hot”

[glyndarling]

I know I reblogged this mere hours ago, but it’s so good I wanna do it again.

[westfailia-deactivated20240822]

in techno-catholicism you vape the communion wine

[lord-kitschener]

This is the most cursed post I’ve ever seen and I hope op gets excommunicated