6. go clothes shopping with, go to ikea with, go grocery shopping with
These are all bad choices! None of these men are cut out for shopping!
Black Dow is the angriest on the day to day and he's the only one who's never travelled further south than the Whiteflow. Modern conveniences are alien to him, and so he would not fare well in IKEA. It would baffle him far too much, how there's so many drawers within drawers and stacks of boxes of shiny utensils with no obvious purpose. Plastic plants?! And keep him out of reach of throw pillows. He'd find the windowlessness quite claustrophobic, I think. I would probably have to leave him in the dining hall, and even then I'd worry he'd find the portion sizes too small and intimidate the serving staff into scooping out more than his sanctioned number of meatballs. Also Dow and style are at opposite ends of a spectrum.
Logen has been to Adua. He didn't like it much, but I think he wouldn't be quite as unsettled by IKEA as Dow. Logen would hold up a spatula and be like, "you live like this?" but he sees it all more as a novelty than an affront to his worldview. As the biggest of the three, he can definitely haul stuff onto the car no problem (not that any of them would struggle), and he'd find putting the shelves together quite therapeutic... until something goes wrong, at which point... Um, but, y'know, I think Logen has quite a practical sense of style. To him, every drawer is a knife drawer. Every cupboard is a place enemies can hide. That rug might compliment the cushions, but how absorbent is it, if say you have to use it to transport a body? Maybe go with a tiled floor throughout, just in case you need to bleach it for some reason. To Logen, the finer things in life involve sharp edges. I worry that IKEA shopping with Logen would result in a badly designed living room, but I guess it's just a matter of taste.
Shivers for IKEA, then? Styrian fashion leans more toward comfort and innovation, and I think Shivers would 'get' IKEA in a way Logen or Dow just wouldn't. Shivers is way more chilled out, and he's more of a team player. He's not gonna complain endlessly, he knows that the sooner we decide on which desk to buy, the sooner we can escape, and he appreciates that being satisfied with our purchases is important. Dow seriously doesn't give a fuck what colour the lampshade is; just grab whatever and let's get out of here. Shivers will take the time to genuinely consider the choice, because he has a far healthier attitude toward delayed gratification.
But now we must consider clothes, and how there's no way clothes shopping with Dow wouldn't be awkward as hell. He drinks the least respect women juice of the three. He'd be self-conscious, I'd be self-conscious... complete nightmare. Logen would be less of a shopping companion and more of a freelance bouncer no one remembers hiring. He'd leave me to leaf through the racks and then just mill about near the entrance, fluorescent lights showing up his mass of scars and terrifying the children. That said, I also imagine Logen as the kind of guy who would try on all the sunglasses, which might be entertaining. Shivers is similarly scary-looking, but he has the experience of raising Rikke, and I reckon he's offered her some advice now and again. When Logen gives advice he expects people to take it to heart, and can get affronted if they don't. Shivers is more considerate, "this is my advice, take it or leave it, I don't care." I think Shivers is my choice for clothes shopping.
As for groceries... I'd be interested to know what each of these guys thinks of vegetables, spicy food, and complex flavour. Logen ate flowers that one time, so I don't really trust his palate. Shivers ate Morveer's soup, and he's dined at Friendly's table. Dow is more of a mystery, but I don't think he's particularly sophisticated. All of them have starved at one time or another. All of them have feasted like Kings.
If I had to pick, I'd say Dow grocery shopping makes sense. He's got an eye for a bargain, and isn't afraid to haggle. He knows a good cut of meat when he sees one, and probably has reasonable opinions on how best to cook it. He might not stick to the list — he'll swing by the whisky aisle just to see what selection they've got — but in the basket would be 50% quality ingredients, 50% junky snacks, and frankly that's what I call success.
In conclusion, I definitely think Dow would be best for groceries, because he would be godawful at the other two. With Shivers and Logen, there's not much in it. Shivers is my preference for both clothes and IKEA, ideally, but if I had to choose I think I'd rather go clothes shopping with him and go to IKEA with Logen. Clothes shopping is not something I enjoy, so it makes sense to go with the one I find least threatening. It's a really tough call, though, especially because now I can't stop imagining Logen trying on all the sunglasses.
