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@bionic-hobo
Fanfiction is cool because you get to learn what other people's parents taught them the hymen is like
I know that I had somewhat unusually comprehensive sex ed but it still surprises me every time I'm reminded that some people genuinely think that losing your virginity is a capri sun kind of situation.
I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor
I know his tailor is stressed bro look at this man wearing a suit to fix a pothole
I bet he opens his closet to the same suits with some slightly different ties like SpongeBob.
I bet if he took off his suit there’d be a suit underneath
important update
Did anyone else have a crush on Kal? Like the instant I heard his voice it was like 'Excuse me?'
i appreciate the imagery of sleeping with a weapon under your pillow but with my sleeping habits that thing is going to need a seatbelt to stay put where i left it
going to bed with a gun under my pillow and when i wake up the next morning i've somehow managed to perfectly disassemble it and lay out the parts neatly beside me with my movements while unconscious
i bet being treated properly by your parents your whole life feels sooooo good
Not only was she fucked into oblivion, but morrowind and skyrim too
made this a transparent gif because im in love
liara: this prothean could be their best scientist!!!!?.! or their wisest councilor!!!!!!! javik: fuck this situation, fuck you peasants, fuck the reapers liara:
by disagreeing with me on this topic, you're aligning yourself with everyone else who disagrees with me, which includes the Chaos Death Cult, and they chaos kill people so....
we dont chaos kill that many people.
Well If You Say It's Not That Many
The chicken chain was told to "cluck off" the last time it tried to move into the UK. This time, it hired bigger guns.
me: "have they tried not being fucking ignorant religious bigots?"
article: “I suspect that a bit of the steam has gone out of the LGBT thing,” Backman told the right-wing outlet, staying ahead of the issue. “There may be the odd protester, but if they have got armies of PR people laser-focused on that then I suspect it may be OK.”
me: no surprises there... fuck them
sandwich recipe
We go through a lot of pickles here and this recipe is a good way to use leftover brine.
The thing that pisses me off the most though is the fact I know so many LGBTQ+ individuals that still go there, and they are surprised when I actually don't. It's literally like that tweet.
it's called the whether because it depends
happy odyssey weekend
chat I'm just finding out that there's no lotus eaters ?? There's no "my name is nobody"?? There's only one Cyclops?? There's no Poseidon??
Just watched The Odyssey 2026 and my god were the characters done dirty...
Hate hate hate what they did with Odysseus's characterization like you cannot be serious. Who is Odysseus if not a sly clever liar (affectionate).
Now he's just some modern goody two shoes inner dilemma hero in a sea of them. They stripped him of his whimsy and cruelty both.
#NotmyOdysseus
There's not one moment in the film where I could go, ahh there he is Odysseus being Odysseus. Not one instance of him being clever, he's just lucky...
Didn't add the 'Nobody' scene but still made him shoot at Polyphemus which starts it all which doesn't even make sense with his characterization in the movie. The Polyphemus scene is supposed to highlight Odysseus's cleverness and hubris but the movie version of him has no pride!
Don't even get me started on Athena & Odysseus! Odysseus famously Athena's star pupil is not.... Instead she's haunting his guilt? Athena who famously interfered in the book to aid Odysseus like a lot... directly and behind the scenes.
In the book Mentor was actually Athena in disguise so I was so hoping for it to be her since Telemachus remarks multiple times about 'wise eyes' but no... it was about how you shouldn't see gods in people blah blah BORING!!!!
'Defy the Gods' Ah yes Odysseus famously devout follower of Athena...
I couldn't help but notice how dirty the female characters were done compared to their Epic counterparts and the erasure of Anticlea during the Underworld scene.
And I'd like to talk more about it, starting with Athena! She is one of the active players who guides both Odysseus's and Telemachus's journey. When Odysseus reaches Ithaca it was Athena who makes him look like an old beggar. Even in the final battle against suitors she deflects their spears to protect Odysseus and afterwards when nobles are angry Odysseus essentially killed their sons Athena steps in herself to establish the peace.
She is integral to the story, there is no Odyssey without her!! Odysseus only survived and made it back home due to her guidance and interference, removing her entirely is a disservice to the actual Epic being adapted.
And second character is Penelope, my Queen!!! I want to get this out of the way Anne Hathaway is in my personal opinion the standout of this film, she did amazing with what she was given. However that is to say, they didn't give her much. They cut off many Penelope moments that give us a taste of her own cleverness (making her a true partner for Odysseus) in favor of some simple status pin which isn't a good trade off imo.
The Olive Tree Bed moment was also not in the movie to my disappointment. A scene that clearly demonstrates how she tricks her own extremely clever trickster husband rather than some pin symbolism.
Circe and Calypso.... the less said about them the better though I hated their costuming.... Where were Circe's nymphs? or not nymphs since Nolan is allergic to whimsy even handmaidens? Circe is a powerful GODDESS 😭(Why was a raven/crow her sister? Was it supposed to be Pasiphae? If yes then I have so many more questions.)
I hate Calypso so i won't waste any words on her but its so funny that they made Odysseus eat Lotus Flower like lmaoooo you can't make this shit up..
I didn't like the costuming, the hair, the armor, the lightening either. I hated the look of Ithaca's palace and the ending like Odysseus... leaves Ithaca and his son after just arriving????
I also think it's so peculiar how Nolan didn't want an orchestra in sound design when the Homeric era didn't have that and then have everything else inaccurate from the armor design to the choice of modernised dialogue (surprisingly I didn't mind the modernised dialogue, not when the movie had larger issues).
Though props to them for making the pig transformation disturbing & sickening and not props for making Scylla lame ass design when her description is genuinely so horrifying, I believe the Odyssey could have been Nolan's first venture into VFX- nothing wrong with a little of it especially while adapting mythological creatures though disappointingly Nolan still clings to his practical only approach.
Also props for a good Eurylochus, making me side eye him and still making me feel sorry for him at the same time.
Side minor note: icky that they cast a black woman for Helen only for her to be abused and miserable when the source material makes no note of it, not a good look imo.
Also since they did deviate from the Poem of the Odyssey and included references to other Epic cycles, I wish they could have added Palamedes and Odysseus acting insane since I felt like the setup for it was there in the film with the scene of Odysseus and Penelope before war and it could be a scene to show again, his prominent cleverness that's direly missing from the film.
When the Trojans put a spear in the horse to verify, I had thought in that moment it was a reference to the omen of Laocoon and sea serpents would appear next but then it happened again and again and was just a tool to create tension.
(Again before anyone says Laoccon is not canon to Homer but neither is anything about the Trojan Horse except a few mentions in the Odyssey. If the sack of Troy has been expanded it would have been nice to see other epics being referenced.)
Why was Apollo the Sun God? What is this Percy Jackson?
All in all, if it was just any other standalone it would be strong 3.5 to 3.75 but as something that has source material an underwhelming 2.5 to 3.
The rating 3 is the average and generous because the film does look good so there's that.
Taking creative liberties in adapting an already existing source material is a thing but it's forgivable and completely understandable only as long as it serves its purpose to enchance the original material for a new medium but I feel like this movie changed the core of who Odysseus is as a character/person completely, erased his mentorship bond with Athena, erased his cleverness and trickster nature, whitewashed him and in the end the character isn't even identifiable as Odysseus anymore.
From Time Magazine interview that Nolan did it was noted that,
For Nolan, one of the hardest things about adapting The Odyssey is that in The Iliad, Odysseus has a relatively minor role. “A lot of the characteristics of Odysseus that can be really admirable in a supporting character, like being a bit clever, being a bit slick, when your hero is like that, it doesn’t always work,” he says. “There’s a reason that in Star Wars, you’ve got Han Solo, but you’ve also got Luke Skywalker, a heroic figure that’s a little more pure and transparent. So the challenge was to be true to the complexity of Odysseus but make him relatable for the audience.”
Which I think is precisely why he got Odysseus so wrong and this movie failed as an adaptation, the rigidness and the lack of letting go of realism to the nth degree.
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