Sweetheart, my depths are hidden and *spectacular*

This is a side blog dedicated to flows, chirps, cellys, and pies. Good lord those pies, y'all. (Likes/follows from my main blog: braveremus).

[birkholster]

This is a fantastic audiobook: The Defiant Mate

Book Description: Jay-la is banished by the future Alpha, Alpha Nathan of her pack, Blood Moon Pack, her lover for just over a year, for str

[carocane]

Opposing teams are expecting this Bitty to be the Captain they face

They don’t expect to get this Captain Bitty

They are in for quite a surprise

[61below]

Conversely, imagine the rumors that spread through the NCAA:

Eric Bittle trains with NHL players during the offseason

Eric Bittle trains one-on-one with Bad Bob during the offseason

Eric Bittle’s first coach skated in the gulags of the USSR

Eric Bittle’s so strong he can lift Tater (it went viral on Instagram after the Kiss on Center Ice) ((Tater had been saving it for the day it could be shared publicly))

Eric Bittle once dropped his gloves after someone insulted Beyoncé and it took all three refs and Jack Zimmermann combined to pull him off the guy

Eric Bittle can teleport

Eric Bittle can summon an army

[omgconnorwhisk]

has anyone pointed out the lax bro’s eyebrows yet?? because:

hello !!!!

that is one PERFECTLY shaped, drawn on, and penciled in eyebrow. I submit for your consideration: Chad is a Makeup Artist, in this essay I will

[hockeydyke]

eric richard bittle is a country gay so he can drive

And here are some fun facts about it

He is the most aggressive driver ever. it takes him about .3 seconds to get frustrated enough to lay on the horn. he is used to driving in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, GA, so if he finds himself in a city traffic jam in Providence he is Baffled and Not Very Happy About It

Learned how to drive stick before automatic

His first car was like, a 2000 Ford Ranger or something like that (we know he drives a truck based on 03.01 and come on that looks like a nice lil Ranger okay if you doubt me then look at some pictures but trust me the body looks like a Ford)

Probably is not a fan of Jack’s Fancy and Boring and Safe SUV

I mean, what’s a car that doesn’t have pieces falling off of it? There’s no personality there

Speed limits are just a suggestion

Texts and drives. Absolutely, for sure. I just know this. It’s one of his biggest character flaws and it freaks Jack out and they’ve had some genuine fights about it

Also road rage?? One of those drivers who just starts talking absentmindedly to the other drivers on the road and it begins with him being a little patronizing about their driving and ends with him fully cussing them out

Jack, alternatively: slightly cautious, pretty generic driver. Obeys the speed limit. Relaxed even during rush hour traffic jams. Bitty cannot stand it

When they go on road trips and it’s Jack’s turn to drive Bitty lasts about an hour maximum before insisting they pull over so he can drive because “really, honey, I know it says 60 but we are NEVER going to make it to Montreal if we don’t go 80 for a bit”

HOWEVER, as soon as there’s snow on the ground, he refuses to drive until the plows have been around

In the distant future, Jack is going to be the one to teach their kids how to drive because Bitty just lacks the patience for it

[shitty-check-please-aus]

Derek Nurse’s interracial gay parents from New York are actually Captain Holt and Kevin from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

[unacaritafeliz]

This is so funny when you imagine Captain Holt and Kevin reacting to like 90% of the words that Nursey chooses to say.

[dereknursey]

nursey on the phone in the next room: bagels are inherently gay

holt and kevin: How Did We Raise This

[dameferre]

the other side of this:

drunk nursey: dex is not, as the kids say, awake.

chowder, in awe: do you mean woke?

nursey: I did mean ‘woke’, but it’s grammatically incoherent.

[jewishbitty]

“You two just need to bone.” “How dARE you Derek Nurse I am your faTHER…” … “BOOONNEEEE” “What your father and I do in the bedroom is none of your concern!” — “BOOOOONEEEEEEE????!!”

[hoenursey]

Nursey: *yelling about something and arguing with his parents*

Captain Holt: “Derek, go to your room. I think you need to have some, as you say, ‘pound symbol me time’ to ‘pound symbol ‘chillax’’ before you continue to speak to your father and I in that tone of voice.”

[randomnoteforfuturereference]

And I said

[heresyourchecksir]

Unpopular Opinion: Both Nursey and Dex were wrong.

Dex should have been more willing to help Nursey, especially since he was injured. Despite Nursey having told him to chill when he was sick, Dex should have helped Nursey. The team is all about #GotYourBack, and that means helping an injured teammate regardless of how they got injured.

Dex should have been more cool with the laundry thing, especially since he himself said that he “can’t see or smell” the laundry. Maybe Nursey should have picked up the underwear on the floor, but the ones on his bed should have been fine.

Nursey has been around Dex for 3 years. They sit next to each other on roadies. Nursey should know when his music is too loud for Dex’s dumbo ears. Also, Nursey, honey, listening to your music with headphones at 50% volume will destroy your hearing, which is decidedly not chill. Don’t do that to yourself.

The pie thing is 100% nasty, and Nursey’s fault. I’m sorry there’s no other way to look at that.

Dex went a little overboard there, making his own fortress of solitude, but that doesn’t mean that Nursey gets to go into Dex’s space whenever. People are allowed to have their own spaces, and Dex literally built his own. Nursey should respect that.

So neither of them are perfect (but that’s why we love them). And honestly, this all could have been solved by the two of them sitting down and working out a roommate agreement, specifically focusing on cleanliness of the room and expectations of individual spaces.

TLDR: Dex and Nursey both could have behaved better, and they seriously need to sit down and have a goddamn civil conversation for once.

[randomnoteforfuturereference]

Even more unpopular opinion:

Neither are villains or porcelain dolls because of it. The shenanigans that they exhibited is realistic and human for two kids with diametrically-opposing personalities shoved together into a room.

The result to that is usually not “Now kiss”; it’s sodium and water.

With that in mind, living in different spaces, fortunately in the same house, would actually be healthier for the two for now.

… For now.

Also the thermostat thing is about equal. On one hand Dex is not the only guy in the Haus, even if he’s the one keeping the HVAC system going. On the other, utility costs aren’t insignificant for an inefficient building. Something could have been negotiated.

[17piesinseptember]

“Jack?”

Bitty waits until Jack looks up from the autobiography he’s reading.

“What do you want for Christmas?”

Jack blinks. “Don’t know. Haven’t thought about it. I don’t really need anything.”

It’s probably true. Jack’s the kind of personal who’ll buy things as he needs them.

“Okay, but what do you want,” Bitty encourages.

Jack smiles at Bitty and leans over to kiss him on the cheek. “You,” Jack says softly.

Bitty rolls his eyes but he loves it. “Seriously though, Jack.”

He takes the book from Jack’s hands and presses it face-down on the coffee table to hold his place. Jack eyes it and Bitty slips the bookmark in instead. He shuffles closer to Jack and puts his hands into the front pocket of Jack’s hoodie.

“Seriously?” Jack repeats.

Bitty nods.

“All I want for Christmas is you,” Jack says with a straight face.

Bitty groans and plants his head on Jack’s chest while Jack laughs at his own joke. “You are not,” he says, pausing to kiss Jack, “helping me, mister.”

Jack shrugs. “It’s the truth.”

Bitty shakes his head and kisses his boyfriend again. “God you’re a big old sap.”

“I am not old.”

“Except you are. Forever an old man to me.”

Jack tackles Bitty down onto his back on the couch. “Take it back,” Jack demands, laying his weight on Bitty.

“Tell me what you want for Christmas,” Bitty counters.

“To wake up beside you.”

“Try again.”

“Breakfast in bed.”

“Jack.”

“To tell you I love you.”

“We already do all those things,” Bitty says with fond exasperation, looking into Jack’s eyes and seeing how much he’s enjoying himself.

Jack raises himself on his elbows above Bitty. “Do you want me to write you a list?” he asks sincerely.

“Honey, I would love you to write me a list.”

“Okay.” Jack kisses Bitty’s nose, then pulls Bitty back up and rests his palms on Bitty’s cheeks. “I’ll write you a list.”

Bitty kisses him.

“Will you take back the thing about me being old?” Jack asks.

“Jack. Your playoff beard had grey in it this season.”

Jack pouts exaggeratedly.

Bitty pats him on his cheeks. “It’s alright. I liked it.”

Jack drops the pout and grins at him. “Did you? I hadn’t noticed,” he teases, knowing full well Bitty liked it. He’d been very vocal about it.

-

There’s a new post-it note stuck to the fridge the next day.

Jack’s Christmas Wish List

-          Waking up next to you

-          Breakfast in bed

-          Telling you I love you

-          Thick house socks (blue please)

Bitty smiles. It’s a start.

[garden-of-succulents]

William Poindexter, go to student counselling services. Sort your shit out. Just go.

[garden-of-succulents]

And YOU, Derek Nurse.

RESPECT SOME FUCKING BOUNDARIES BRO. It isn’t actually funny to keep pushing someone’s buttons after they’ve said they want distance from you.

[gingerpointdexter]

There were so many things to love about this update

Bully with a braid doing the dishes

The lowkey concern Dex had about how Nursey almost hurt himself while playing

Clumsy Nursey

Nursey getting so distracted by Dex, and trying to look cool, that he literally doesn’t notice the door isn’t latched

Nursey saying “Chill” as a reaction to realizing he’s about to hurt himself

Chowder signing Nursey’s cast with a shark (he’s so precious I CAN’T)

Mention of Dex’s ears lol

“NURSEY PICK UP YOUR SHIT!”

Dex being able to “sense” Nursey’s dirty laundry

Dex building a house-room inside their room

Nursey sneaking into Dex’s said house-room

Bitty with the flame thrower while everyone watches

Jack and Bitty bringing a shit ton of containers and bags of food for their Haus 2.0 visit

Jack saying “Right on” (Ngozi, what have you done with the real Jack?)

Mystery roommate having to put up with Shardo and Holsom’s shit

I loved this update so much omg

[chrisfranklinchow]

some things to note about this panel:

dex seemingly built this while nursey was away for class??

dex’s new space having a fucking window.

dex’s door having his initials on it.

[itsybittle]

I enjoy the plant he put in. Either it’s plastic or he’s going to have to move it a lot so it gets enough sun.

[pulsingvoid]

nursey: face it poindexter, you’re gonna move out by august, september tops

dex: *moves out*

nursey:

[ricekrispyjoints]

this pie is begging for the sweet release of death, and bitty does the only humane thing

[pulsingvoid]

I’VE MISSED THEM SO MUCH LOOK AT THEIR FACES

[itsybittle]

Ngozi show us the forbidden roommate

[creepergingergirl]

It’s a hobbit hole. He built himself a hobbit hole. 

[randomnoteforfuturereference]

Nursey confirmed as being able to teleport as long as there is some kind of foliage around.