Bisexual Lemon

She/it. Tma. 20. From the river to the sea. DMs always open!

[bisexual-lemon1]

HEY I DONT ALWAYS TAG TWS

I get really lazy sometimes, and sometimes I don’t tag tws, so please watch out for that

[scwambledeggs]

remember to give your sub a little squeeze~ <3

[devilishdescent]

you sit down at the plastic table because your partner likes being outside at the bar even though it’s 90 degrees and 60% humidity at 10pm and you thought this corduroy dress was soooo cute but now youre all sweaty and so one of your balls has escaped your panties but youre wearing fishnets so your loose nut is now dying like a sea turtle in a six pack ring and youre the desperate diver trying to save it but blind and one handed and stone faced cause you can’t draw attention to the fact that youre doing a high stakes wildlife rescue on your stupid scrotum in public because it might turn into a six month news cycle and desantis might fly out to personally bulldoze the bar. and its a thursday

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

everyone post your biggest hear me outs my friend just showed me two conventionally attractive white men in a row i need to teach him what a real hear me out is

[gardenofeden5457]

.world's largest excavator- nay, world's largest vehicle- the bagger 288

.also, scale reference! just the wheel is 70 feet in diameter

[ceruinus]

'here's a real hear me out' >>posts world's most conventionally attractive piece of machinery

[punkrorschach]

yeah if you utter the phrase "conventionally attractive piece of machinery" you have lost perspective. this is a pyramid head situation. tumblr is not the website to have these debates.

[chainmail-butch]

Hi, its me. The warmest creature in the world. I love you. Im the warmest creature in the world and I love you so much and I need to be in your lap right now. Yes, I know about the heat wave. That's okay though because I was already the warmest creature in the world so I don't mind. I love you and you need to let me sleep in your lap right now. I'm soooo warm and I love you sooo much. If you say no you'll be saying no to a thing that love you. Let me sleep in your lap. When I fall asleep I get warmer. I love you

[jordanbolton]

To the Person Who Asked If I Was OK

Pre-order my new book here

[fishing-princess]

For thousands of years humanity has selectively bred chickens to have larger breasts and to have to lay eggs constantly. We did it to get more meat and per chicken, but from the perspective of the domesticated chickens they’re sorta living in a very specific fetish scenario

[aliceoverzero]

The first tags I see on this are absolutely inspired. Incredible pervert lesbian website.

[ubercharge]

after i finished this i paused and thought i don't have the heart to eat these women. but maybe you do. if you're hungry

[3000s]

Yes, your dentist can absolutely tell if you masturbated at home before your appointment. And in fact, a shower and change of clothes does little to hide this. The best step forward is to apologize to your dentist for masturbating.

[3000s]

- mockup of results from my new search engine called "Google OCD"

[maelwife]

Anyway 4 day work week, universal basic income for all, free state healthcare and dental not tied to your ability to stay employed, more meaningful work opportunities that keep people employed in their communities doing projects that have a tangible effect on their neighborhoods instead of wasting their days doing busywork to generate profit for bosses who don’t know they’re alive. More accessible public transportation for people with disabilities and more third spaces that don’t require money to spend time in.

[contemptible-scoundrel]

prototype jackk has been working tirelessly alongside applebloom, scootaloo, and the other one, to earn his cutie mark

[puddlesl1me]

‎

[puddlesl1me]

buy my nothing

[unyieldingsilence]

‎ ‎

[puddlesl1me]

‎

[unyieldingsilence]

‎ ‎

[boygirldogdyke]

Did you two reach an agreement

[hungwy]

everyone has a deep hidden memory of glass cow with milk sloshing inside.

[hungwy]

^ you were born with this memory.

[cringeunworthy]

I'm gonna get so much mileage out of this one

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

Dude living downstairs has been loudly rapping for like 10 minutes, then suddenly did a high pitched scream, and now its silent down there

[postnuclearophelia]

he got raptured

[queen-elizabeth-the-3st]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

buy her a marvelous flying contraption... and then fuck her in it 😈🎩⚙️🧐

[lilyblisslys]

if I ever tell you “lmk what you think if you read/play/watch it!” I am firmly inviting you to send me a play by play minute by minute cataloguing of your thoughts about The Thing

[mentoscola]

PANIC BUY GASOLINE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[zvaigzdelasas]

Some people are saying that the banks are almost out of money and they only have enough left for a few people. I'm not saying this but some people are saying.