Bisexual BumbleBug

your local piece of shit

[plvsmid]

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La Vie en Rose playing from another room

Edith Piaf

[ummpleasee]

I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you, how good you look when you smile; how much I love your laugh. I day dream about you on and off, replaying our conversations; laughing at funny things you said or did. I’ve memorized your face and how you look at me. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagined. I wonder what will happen the next time we’re together and even though neither of us know what the future holds, I know one thing for sure; you’re the very best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I keep thinking about how much I love you, how much I want you my life forever…

[fiveheaded-drunk-god-deactivate]

Swearing In German

since we german folks swear quite a lot I figured I should make a post about swear words, for everyone who’s learning german~

🔥Scheiße literally means: shit example: “Scheiße! Ich hab mein Handy verloren!“

🔥Verdammt literally means: damn example: “Verdammt, wo sind meine Schlüssel?“ can also be combined with Scheiße: Verdammte Scheiße

🔥Arschloch literally means: asshole example: “Lass mich in Ruhe, du Arschloch!“

🔥Arschgesicht literally means: assface example: “Ja, Markus ist schon echt ein Arschgesicht, oder?“

🔥Wichser literally means: wanker comes from the word for male masturbating (wichsen) example: “Du bist echt so ein Wichser!“

🔥Fotze literally means: cunt is often used to refer to women, but not exclusively example: “Geh mir aus dem Weg, Fotze!“

🔥Hurensohn literally means: son of a bitch (yes we have one handy word for it) break down: hure = whore, sohn = son example: “Du Hurensohn!“ (simple but effective)

🔥Trottel means something like: fool / is also another word for Idiot example: “Du bist ein Trottel, weißt du das?“

🔥Idiot example: “Bist du wirklich so ein Idiot?“

🔥Kevin example: “Du bist so ein Kevin/Du bist echt ein Kevin/So ein Kevin“

🔥Bauer literally means: farmer similar use like Kevin example: “Du bist so ein Bauer/Du bist echt ein Bauer/Du bist so ein Bauer“

🔥Mongo means something like: retarded/retard example: “Du Mongo“

Weaker and more Harmless swear words (you could even use around kids.. but it would still be better not to swear at all in their presence)

🔥 Kacke literally means: poop a kind of weaker version of Scheiße example: “So eine Kacke!“ can also be combined with Verdammt: Verdammte Kacke

🔥Blödmann means: dumbass example: “Was für ein Blödmann, dieser Polizist..“

+ Bonus: Expressions

🔥Fick dich literally means: Fuck you / screw you

🔥Leck mich literally means: lick me example: “Weißt du was? Leck mich! Ich mach da nicht mit“

🔥Du kannst mich mal means something like: you can screw me

🔥Rutsch mir den Buckel runter means something like: slide down my back

🔥Verpiss dich literally means: piss off

[bisexualjerk]

Friend: Why do you never answer my video calls?! :(

Me: because I'm ugly

[bisexualjerk]

AH! TY ALL FOR 100 FOLLOWERS! I'M GLAD YOU ENJOY READING MAH GAY SHIT! Y'ALL MAKE ME HAPPY.

[bisexualjerk]

How do I make some bomb ass BTS theories but yet can't do my English papers?

[bisexualjerk]

Me: *secretly gets a girlfriend*

Grandmother: So when's that special boyfriend going to come around?

Me: *nervous rainbow sweating*

[mydaywithd-deactivated20180408]

Julie D’Aubigny was a 17th-century bisexual French opera singer and fencing master who killed or wounded at least ten men in life-or-death duels, performed nightly shows on the biggest and most highly-respected opera stage in the world, and once took the Holy Orders just so that she could sneak into a convent and shag a nun.

(via Feminism)

[bookshop]

bisexual opera singer who killed ten men and snuck into a convent to shag a nun.

[allyitis]

Just so y'all know, she later set that convent on fire so she and that nun could sneak out. And she seduced one of the men she’d dueled.

[johannesviii]

Mademoiselle de Maupin (Julie d’Aubigny) has always been one of my role models. I’m so glad this post exists so more people can learn about her. The more you know, the more there’s to love. Let’s see:

Around 1678 (she was like fourteen or fifteen), she was making a living in Marseilles by doing fencing exhibitions, dressed in male clothes, with her boyfriend who was on the run because he killed a guy in an illegal duel in Paris.

Then she joined an opera company and fell in love with a young woman, but the woman’s parents decided to put her in a convent to, you know, protect her honor and all that…

…so yeah, that’s when the whole “sneaking into a convent to help a nun sneak out and also putting the room on fire” thing happened.

She wounded a guy through the shoulder with a sword in a duel because he had made fun of her clothes. They became friends after she came back a few days later to ask if he was okay.

She beat a singer who was quite famous at the time because he was being a jerk to some women from her new opera troupe in Paris.

She kissed a young woman in front of everyone at a society ball, and that angered three noblemen who were there, so she beat them all in duel and fled to Brussels. Then she resumed her opera career there.

Then she returned to the Paris opera and had yet more problems with the law because she beat up her landlord.

She retired to a convent after the death of her love Madame la Marquise de Florensac, and died at only 33 years old.

The legend says that she never got arrested for all her deeds because king Louis XIV thought she was way too entertaining to deserve death. I have no idea if that’s true. But she did sing in Versailles for the Court, so there’s that.

[onethirdstraight]

@bisexualjerk

[bisexualjerk]

How I feel when I hear a BTS song playing

[bisexualjerk]

hey, sit on my lap and let's talk about the first thing that pops up

The first thing that'll pop up is an ambulance because I might fucking break you if I sit on you

[bisexualjerk]

hey daddy~

WHADDUP

[bisexualjerk]

rawr XD

#triggered

[bisexualjerk]

hey baby, I'm like chocolate pudding, I look like shit but I'm sweet as can be

I don't really like sugar. So no.

[bisexualjerk]

Me: Did you know that you can get a stomach ulcer from drinking coffee so often?

Also me: *literally chugs 500 cups of coffee a day*

[bisexualjerk]

I've never understood why a lot of people tend to speak louder to a person who doesn't know how to speak/understand English very well. It doesn't exactly help. They hear you but just don't understand you.

[bisexualjerk]

That moment when

I see an attractive person in public

[bisexualjerk]

That moment when

You're the oldest in your group of friends