Big ego, don't know why its such a big deal though

•21 • Miami•

[me-nikish]

[catchymemes]

[ommanyte]

snail as old as slime

[kitty]

AAAAAAAA PLAY WITH SOUND AGAIN OMG MY HEART

[witcheshaven]

my fave

[edgebug]

times are tough. have this blessed short film from xmas of my sister and brother figuring out they can macarena to cascada’s “everytime we touch”

[saintdollyparton]

If I ever get married, this is mandatory at my wedding.

[pagewoman]

[just-shower-thoughts]

There are two kinds of people. Those who think, “I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did.” And those who think, “I suffered; why shouldn’t they?”

[lazyyogi]

This is an important distinction.

[sahind]

Suicide Squad (2016) // Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)

[beaft]

going through my microsoft word archives is great fun because i always find the wildest shit in there and by “the wildest shit” i mean the time i tried to rewrite the entire bible from scratch at the age of eleven and a half

[beaft]

“And so Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, and Eve turned to Adam and said, 'Nice going, loser.‘” 

iconic

[beaft]

whilst you were listening to avril lavigne, i learned the way of the Lord

[thebibliosphere]

I would read this in its entirety.

[tinsnip]

ao3 please

[catchymemes]

[oglach-uisce]

IM SO PROUD?!!!!!!?!!! LIKE WEE MAN IS A FUCKING LEGEND?!!!!!?!!!!!?!

[trans-jesus]

wanted to see a more recent update and

BOIS STILL GOING STRONG YEEHAW U GO LITTLE SCIENCE KID

[gymclassieros-deactivated201808]

“i don’t wanna die, i sometimes wish i’d never been born at all” remains the rawest fucking lyric in the history of music thanks freddie

[kathudsonart]

Here’s a piece I started before Kyle’s death. I haven’t felt much like drawing lately, which is really strange for me. I decided to bite the bullet and go ahead and finish it. I think it turned out well.

[fonzworthcutlass]

I hope all of yall find $20 on the ground tomorrow.

And I mean that.

[gaze4u-deactivated20201021]

$50 maybe

[gendernihilistanarchocommunist]

a dropped money clip from some clumsy, unobservant capitalist shithead with in excess of $5000 in it

[chaoticprincecloud]

Put it out so the universe can pull it in sis!!

[buzzfeedtasty]

[youthetrevival]

How you make a 30 second masterpiece about grilled cheese.

[7thblacksheep-deactivated201907]

Bitch I’m wet

[ryandevon]

Why is this cinematically better than like actual movies?

Or am I just fat?

(The new working title of my memoirs)

[thresholdofzero-deactivated2018]

Why steal porn when you can just watch this?

[bethanyactually]

One Day at a Time + text posts (3/?)

for @actuallylorelaigilmore, just because ♥︎

[glumshoe]

Found a very sweet, very stinky dog that now won’t leave my side.

[interstitiallacunae]

I think you might be her new family…

[glumshoe]

I wish. She’s well-fed, affectionate, and trained, so somebody is surely missing her.

[glumshoe]

Baby. A horrendously smelly baby. If we can’t find her owners, we’ve got some potential takers among our friends. Last option is a special pitt bull rescue center - or, if my dad continues to melt over her and bring her scraps of turkey, maybe our home.

[sunshine-tattoo]

more updates please

[glumshoe]

We’re currently attempting to lure her inside with trails of turkey breast. We don’t want to put her into a car to take her to the vet until she smells less like Death.

[glumshoe]

Well, she’s inside, and my mom says I can’t call her “Lore” because we already have a dog named after a 90’s TV show character. She wants to name her “Tesla” because she likes Doc Brown’s tradition of naming dogs after scientists, but I don’t want to face future discourse about it.

[glumshoe]

The Dog has had a bath and took it very gracefully. She’s been incredibly shy since she came inside, but now that she’s (mostly) destinkified, she seems a hundred times bolder and more trusting and is curiously exploring the house.

She seems to absolutely adore other dogs, but Scully has been pissy lately, so we’re keeping them apart. She has a limp that I’m worried about, but her facial lacerations appears to be healing well and she allows herself to be lifted calmly.

[glumshoe]

We’re waiting to hear back from the owner listed on her microchip. We found her almost five miles from her home address, which doesn’t rule out the possibility of being dumped. If her owners don’t want her, we’ll find her a good home.

In the meantime…

[jarjarbinky]

Is there an update? How old is this?? Is she ok??

[glumshoe]

She’s currently at the clinic with my mom getting vaccinated. Still no response from her owners. She slept next to my bed last night and snored the entire goddamn time.

[glumshoe]

Day 12: I’ve almost given up hope of hearing back from the owners. As of tomorrow, she’ll have been in our care and long enough for the humane society to consider her abandoned and allow for her legal adoption to a new home. She’s going to spend tomorrow night with a local couple to see how she gets along with their old labrador - if it’s successful, they’ll adopt her once their vacation is over.

In the meantime, I have taught her to provide what I am told counts as “deep pressure therapy”, and she has become a much happier, more confident, and far less stinky dog than she was two weeks ago. Her laceration has healed nicely and her limp has vanished.

[glumshoe]

February 20, 2019: Crime Dog has been with me since December 27, but tomorrow (today, technically—it’s 1 AM) she goes home with the the gay couple who are adopting her. One of them works from home and will be able to keep her company at all times. They’re already in love and have gone out and bought toys for her, and have fortunately agreed to let me dogsit from time to time.

Tonight I am making an exception to my hard and fast “no dogs on the bed” rule. She’ll be sleeping in bed with her new family every night and will be doted on with saccharine devotion, so I dont really have anything to be sad about—she’s getting a storybook “happily ever after”, which is as lucky as any scarred-up stray pitbull can get.

But for one last night, she’s my dog, and I get to hold her and cry into her fur.

[sailorbrazil]

no talk with me im angy