@bl0ated-corpse - Tumblr Blog

you're not allowed to bring wireless devices into classified areas and a security guy noticed a square phone-ish shape in my pocket so he asked me to show him what it was and i had to show him my can of pocket herring :/

inbabylontheywept

artists depiction of event

bl0ated-corpse

you could say he was tricked by a....

red herring

mimikabii

extinguished

paverics

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

paverics

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

bl0ated-corpse

it snot an original joke from him it's a meme thats been around a few years now BUT i salute him bc it is objectively the best thing to say here

littlegermanboy

guys i just got the best anon ever idk if i can post this i want to keep it framed in my inbox forever.

littlegermanboy

i can’t choose a favorite part of this it’s all so good.

wyrmicelli

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

snowown

plague-vulture

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

dee-the-red-witch

Oh look, just as fast and dirty as any other April 1st gag bit. Matt, Staff, Automattic, etc, FIX YOUR HEARTS. And do some work on the real problem on here.

bl0ated-corpse

didnt they ban gooseworx recently????? not even the most famous popular trans women aren't safe

dee-the-red-witch

Oh look, just as fast and dirty as any other April 1st gag bit. Matt, Staff, Automattic, etc, FIX YOUR HEARTS. And do some work on the real problem on here.

98chao

deltarune chapter 5 spoilers

this is actually so stupid im sorry

#berdly is right tho #kerdly #kerdly forever

bl0ated-corpse

sad version of Fingers in His Ass Sunday with the new bergentruck remix from chapter 5

#fingers in his ass sunday #fingers in his ass #deltarune #undertale #utdr

bl0ated-corpse

sad version of Fingers in His Ass Sunday with the new bergentruck remix from chapter 5

bl0ated-corpse

has Gru Gaster reached this website yet or are those hallucinations only happening on twitter

bl0ated-corpse

TL;DR there was a patch and they added some mew mew dialogue

(you need to encounter the FRIEND near the shrine, get the egg, and beat the secret boss)

and so gaster is a pirate and also despicable him

bl0ated-corpse

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY FAKE DIALOGUE but its unironically not that far from the real thing and THATS the crazy part

#deltarune #gaster #pink deltarune #mew mew deltarune #friend deltarune #DEVICE_FRIEND

bl0ated-corpse

has Gru Gaster reached this website yet or are those hallucinations only happening on twitter

bl0ated-corpse

TL;DR there was a patch and they added some mew mew dialogue

(you need to encounter the FRIEND near the shrine, get the egg, and beat the secret boss)

and so gaster is a pirate and also despicable him

#deltarune #gaster #deltarune chapter 5 #mew mew deltarune #pink deltarune

has Gru Gaster reached this website yet or are those hallucinations only happening on twitter

#deltarune #gaster

april

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open