Blame Descartes

"I think, therefore I am." If only it were that simple...

[freegiftjones]

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

[chicknparm]

[tablesage]

useful framework

[alphacrone]

when it finally happens they shouldn’t lower the flags to half mast, they should raise them to 1.5 mast. add some mast to that mast. maybe some balloons too.

[sexygrammaticalerrors]

[enki2]

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[nonagalleryart]

In the Year of the Horse, let us all truly appreciate what this mythical creature has done for surrealist memes. I don’t think there is another animal that has inspired such unhinged internet images. We should all be both eternally grateful and forever afraid.

[likeafieldmouse-deactivated2015]

Luis Camnitzer - The Photograph (1981)

[gastronauticsyd]

The Screenshot (2014)

[fredersen]

The Reblog (2014)

[toratiger-deactivated20211204]

Bahahahaha love this

[processintegrated]

The Unnecessary Comment (2014)

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

The Delayed Reblogging (2026)

[dailycatsblog]

[littleguysdaily]

[only-cat-memes]

[lizardsfromspace]

People still doing "do you think voting can fix this" memes when the answer to the question "when did voting last end an authoritarian regime" is "two days ago"

[byjove]

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

[byjove]

[livelovelaugh-777]

[acelessthan3]

Still collecting the full alphabet of the “live, laugh, love” variants if anyone has some good examples.

Bonus if they can fit the “We can’t ___, _____, ____ our way out of this.”

[dhegdheer]

compilation of the comments’ best hits + some of mine own.

[orpheusilver]

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

[orpheusilver]

dont do this

[babblingbranches]

[cryptcollector]

I really hope its not too bad bc i actually love both components.

[cryptcollector]

it forms a dry skin at the top made of the sour pellets. not a great start.

[cryptcollector]

tastes really good actually. i also feel like i am about to explode.

[cryptcollector]

do not do this.

[jenjensd]

Unanimous consensus: Do not do this

Other people: Hold on I’m about to do this

[jenjensd]

[beeceit-deactivatingsoon-deacti]

Rip to y'all, but I'm built different. Trying this tonight

[beeceit-deactivatingsoon-deacti]

Best I can do with what I have (I'm at work rn)

[beeceit-deactivatingsoon-deacti]

Oh that is a... fascinating smell

[beeceit-deactivatingsoon-deacti]

Don't do this

[ab-arts]

Alright now I’m curious

[ab-arts]

Didn't have strips so I made what I call battery acid cereal

[ab-arts]

Don't do this

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[noodlefiasco]

[olicrosse]

[cephalopodvictorious]

fixed it

[star-thief]

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

ourhg