Things commonly asked while questioning one's gender
Here are some questions you may ask yourself if you are in the process of questioning your gender; if these questions have occurred to you, or create a dialogue or reaction in you, you could possibly have an experience that falls under the trans* umbrella. PLEASE note that NONE of these are REQUIREMENTS for being trans- people have asked me to lay out some basic questions you can ask yourself or a checklist and this is what i've come up with so far:
Does being called by my birth name bother me? would i be happier going by a different name of a different gender or a different name somehow?
Do the pronouns assigned with my birth gender feel inaccurate somehow? would i be happier if i changed my pronouns? does the gender marker assigned to me on licenses and IDs bother me or feel inaccurate?
Does the way other people address me affect me? does the way other people perceive me and assign gendered terms and roles to me in passive conversation bother me? does it bother me that people treat me like a "man" or "woman" when that's not how i feel? does it bother me when people aggressively call me sir, ma'am, lady, man, sister, brother, etc.
When engaging in roleplay or thought exercises, do i find myself naturally envisioning myself as a different gender, or creating characters of a different gender because it feels more safe, natural or comfortable to me while doing thought exercises or fantasizing? do i find that it comes easily to me to put myself in the shoes of another gender, perhaps even moreso than my agab?
Do I find myself relating to one gender moreso than others whenever I engage with fiction? do I find that I wish I could be a lot more like characters of a certain gender ? Do I find that it's easier to project myself on to characters of a different gender?
Do i feel trapped, uncomfortable, upset, irritated, or freaked out when other people comment on how feminine or masculine i am? do i feel like they are wrong in how they see me? do i feel uncomfortable when separated by genders with my peers? do i feel alienated when assigned to be partnered up with one gender but more at home with another? do i feel as though i'm forced to use the incorrect gendered spaces like restrooms?
Would i feel better or more free if i tried to look for different clothing? do the clothes i wear now feel wrong, restrictive, uncomfortable, or in some other way like they are not mine or do not suit me?
Do i wish my voice were lower or higher? does my internal view of how my voice should sound match how it does, and do i feel like i should change that to feel more comfortable and safe, or more like myself?
Do i wish my body were different in some way? does my internal view of how i look match how my body looks? is there something that's wrong or makes me feel uncomfortable? is there something that would make me happier if i changed it, like my musculature, fat distribution, facial structure, hair growth, and so on? do i feel as though something is missing, or needs to go?
Do I feel as though the genders described to me by others just don't fit? do i feel as though i just cannot fit into the boxes of male and female? do i feel as though no matter what gender i try to identify with , it is still inaccurate? do i find that i have an experience with a gender, but it's nothing like how most other people describe their experiences?
Do i wish that i could have more freedom in my presentation and identity? would being able to change my identity on occasion be more beneficial to me? is it too difficult for me to nail down an exact identity and it would be easier for me to identify with a more nebulous term like genderlessness? do overly rigid pre-defined genders or presentations make me feel trapped or left out?
Would i feel more comfortable if i were the one defining the terms i identify with as opposed to other people assigning them to me based upon how i look, sound and act?
Do i feel as though it is not possible for me to be cis no matter what way i try to present or which genders i identify with?
Do I find myself naturally looking up to gender non conforming, trans, nonbinary and other queer people in general? do i find that the way they go about presenting their genders and interacting with gender makes more sense than how cis people approach gender?
this is not an attempt at a diagnostic tool, nor is it required for you to experience ALL of these things, or even most of them. every trans person experiences something different. i'm presenting a list of common questions people ask themselves while questioning their gender. we will continue to add as we think of things
