Trashcan't on fire

Shitposting tumblr only B) //created this blog in March, 2015//

[tumbwr]

.. <- two ants hanging out

[cicadaland]

** <- two spiders hanging out

[tumbwr]

^v <- two birds hanging out

[pwesident]

= <- two worms hanging out

[basalt-havic]

?? <- two snakes hanging out

[ampersketch-art]

~~ <- two caterpillars hanging out

[krispyjb]

%% <- two butterflies hanging out

[shinekittenace]

@@ <- two snails hanging out

[fuckyndingus]

&& <- the two fucked up pretzels i got from the mall last thursday

[tydy-the-megnet]

|| <- rubble

[i-reblog-with-dumb-commentary]

↑ Humans bonding through incomprehensible means, time, and space.

[lenasai]

🚚🚛 <- two trucks having sex

[bogleech]

bat opens up their little bat wallet to find they are all out of moths. A worthless $100 bill flies out for emphasis

[poondragoon]

From top-of-frame, a month flutters into the wallet. Confused, the bat looks "up" to see an equally-confused human standing "above" her, holding an open wallet containing a single $100 bill.

Camera rotates to reveal bat has been hanging upside down above a human doing the exact same visual gag and each ruined the other's bit.

Laugh track.

[legov7]

[kradeiz]

[queen-of-cats]

Obsessed with the fact that it’s Jon Arbuckle

[thepoisonroom]

loudly going "YOU'RE GOOD YOU'RE GOOD" to myself to ward off the memory of every embarrassing thing i've ever done

[elmerseason-deactivated-deactiv]

[bosspigeon]

so bc i am a Gross Dude my friends i and sometimes rate our burps and my coworker (who is a teen girl) burped in front of me once and i instinctively rated it

so now every time she burps she looks to me hopefully for a rating and bc she has delicate little baby burps i now have to create an entirely new Burp Rating System unique to her bc i rate anything below a 5 and she looks at me like this

[huffylemon]

???

[trapny]

She absolutely thought that was gonna be some kind of sick fucking burn but it was not

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

getting older for me has just been realizing how important it is to check the weather forecast ever day

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

rain from 4 to 8 today? gotta make sure i tell every person i see

[duckdotcom]

secret hug techniques to be used only in dire emergencies

[duckdotcom]

[memeuplift]

[fluffielox]

dream date

[pikuselu]

?

[rocals]

they put guitars in it

[rocals]

the music

[rocals]

good lord there's instrumence in here

[jaimeski]

“I hate you” is boring. “I hope your favorite non human character gets drawn as white twink." is unique. it’s terrifying. it’s possible. it's true. it's happening.

[everythingfox]

Thirsty boi

(via)

[transmasc-malleus]

good female anthro design: 

bad female anthro design: 

[interruptingkau]

Best female anthro design:

[letstalkaboutheroes]

cursed female anthro design:

[rootbeergoddess]

FISH ARE NOT MAMMALS! THEY DON’T HAVE BREASTS! WHAT THE FUCK!?

[prince-luffy]

Fish Tiddies

[pathesis]

[fallingtowers]

gun is a beautiful mother animal and it gives birth to baby bullets who are so fast and small and strong

[annunakitty]

[casket-of-beauty]

[red-mercer]

People who sculpt in marble do fabrics and shit just to flex don’t they

[paulsebert]

Marble is a medium in which you can be horny on main and everyone’s like “wow that’s classy.”

[databent]

gonna start signing all my messages and posts with this (っ’-‘)╮ =͟͟͞͞🍋ﾌﾞｫﾝ but with a situationally relevant emoji

for example. i like frogs (っ’-‘)╮ =͟͟͞͞🐸ﾌﾞｫﾝ

[halfwit]

Can you make him throw this 🍍

[databent]

as you wish

(っ’-‘)╮ =͟͟͞͞🍍ﾌﾞｫﾝ

[halfwit]

Great! Now can you catch something for me?

[databent]

yeah ok

(っ’-‘)っ

[halfwit]

Here you go!

💖

[databent]

(っ;-;)っ💖=͟͟͞͞

[ichbinreh]

(っ💖)っ  ah.

[thewittyphantom]