I'M A MAN IM A TWISTED FOOL

♠️ JACK —- HE/HIM | 20 Metal gear solid big bosses big fat pussy

[neospacegov]

Black mesa emplyees

[engiqueers]

shout out to the little monk in each of my cells that transcribes my DNA by candle light

[transparentgentlemenmarker]

[charlottan]

[s0re-loser]

Do u guys think at the bottom of the ocean there are fish with feet 2 walk on it?

[seatrench]

yes

[shogosatake-deactivated20231014]

i want hooves

[hotvampireadjacent]

what the fuck is wrong w u btw?????????? hooves?????? fucking hooves??? i can’t stand knowing you

[shogosatake-deactivated20231014]

i would be breathtaking

[hotvampireadjacent]

i would finally put you down like the dirty animal you are

[ip2lb]

[papasmoke]

i hate wizards

[papasmoke]

fuck all wizards

[papasmoke]

nothing bad is going to happen to me over this post because wizards have no power over me

[papasmoke]

[evilwizard]

sent that Fool to the Dream Realm

[normal-horoscopes]

That wasn’t us that just happens sometimes

[evilwizard]

WHY WOULD YOU OUT ME LIKE THAT

[normal-horoscopes]

Hey so if I was stuck in the dream realm would you be mad

[evilwizard]

AS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT HOW TO TRAVEL TO THE DREAM REALM I’M GONNA KICK YOUR BONY ASS

[papasmoke]

Can you two please quiet down I’m trying to get some sleep

in the dream realm

[tiarasnteakettles]

I know nobody asked for a photoshoot of my kitten wearing the heart of the ocean but in my defense nobody told me I couldn’t either

[rowyngoldeart]

I regret nothing.

[tiarasnteakettles]

I’m crying sksksksk

[stinkylittlegnome]

Gollum’s lowkey adoreable tbh i would like to keep him as a pet❤️

[stinkylittlegnome]

[hylialeia]

I can fix him [drill sound] [screaming] [chainsaw revving]

[dsmsix]

the rorschach test is stupid. they just show you a bunch of pictures of pussy and say you’re mentally ill. could’ve done that myself 🙄

[handsmotif]

yo mr white can i get the chicken nugget happy meal

[handsmotif]

jesse do you want the littlest pet shop toy or the pokemon toy jesse

[aewm]

420 stands for “4got 2 0plogize” and this is how u use it

friend: hey dude why’s lester mad at u me: i broke his favorite mug and 420

[doppopoet-deactivated20220517]

[nothwell]

nautical history friends help

there’s a glass thing aboard wooden whaling ships where it’s like a little crystal they put in the ceiling to let light in belowdecks

what the fuck is it called

it looks kind of like this

???

[focsle]

Deck prism!

[nothwell]

#they’re so amazing

YES! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[focsle]

Sure thing! I remember being so surprised at HOW much light they brought into a space, when I first saw them in action.

[ID: photo of closely clustered ship bunks, lit by an overhead prism. /end ID]

The yellow light is artificial but the blue is from the deck prism, on a cloudy day.

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

WHY IS THJIS SO FUCKING FUNNY...WHY DID HE THROW THE MONEY LIKE THAT I--

[997]

masculinity is literally a form of drag

[peggycatrerr]

[rubensmuse]

i feel it important to tell you the caption on this is "POV: dinner date with a Wattpad guy" and the other 2 parts are just as funny

[fiona-applebottomjeans]

honey, are you okay? you’ve barely touched your twilight water