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@blindings
Catastrophize Benedictine
James Bradley
the patron saint of lost dogs
"character doing a c+ job of breaking the cycle of abuse" is such a crunchy dynamic forever. what if i'm giving my all to give you a better life than i had and i'm succeeding but "better" just isn't quite enough. what if my blind spots and deeply ingrained trauma and inexperience mean that you will be indelibly scarred by me despite my best efforts. what if my abuser's influence still bleeds through at times because i know nothing else. what if i go so far in the opposite direction to avoid it that i hurt you in ways i couldn't have anticipated. what if my undeniable love and unforgivable shortcomings came part and parcel with each other. what if your love and gratitude and resentment and pain came part and parcel too. what if we both knew you deserved better but i was all you had. what if we had to move forward and reckon with that. what then
late poem to my father by sharon olds. if you even care
yeah
from Locking Yourself Out, Then Trying to Get Back In by Raymond Carver
“He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.”
Konstantin "Kostya" Dmitrievich Levin & Princess Ekaterina "Kitty" Alexandrovna Shcherbatskaya ANNA KARENINA│2012
so funny that hayden and jj get mad at shane for doing something that essentially boils down to Lying at Work. oh he didnt tell you about ilya. hes at work. you can lie at work who cares.
Rachel Weisz as Hypatia in Agora (2009)
book one wylan is so fun because we never know his inner thoughts and he’s kinda unhinged. swings wildly between “kaz don’t kill that guy” and “we could wake them.” sings once. looks shocked when the bombs he made work. flirts. truly unreadable from an outside perspective.
and then you get book two wylan and you realize that every decision he’s made is entirely spur-of-the-moment and panicked and he exists in a constant state of fear and it’s like oh. yeah that makes sense
ilya responds to ig q&a questions that say ‘whats it like to be a fucking f*ggot?’ with a picture of shane in a backwards cap and a white tshirt casually lifting the hem to wipe his mouth with one hand so his abs are exposed while he’s holding ilyas hand with the other, with the text ‘VERY AWESOME 😍👍’
Wildness Before Something Sublime Leila Chatti
“bits to use in everyday conversations”
EASY A 2010, dir. Wil Gluck
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joy sullivan
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barthes