błłury

dont be afraid to talk to Me! I do art to! https://chloeisdoingthings.tumblr.com/

[bllury]

My art blog is

https://at.tumblr.com/chloeisdoingthings/bmi589lfjwkb

So yeah! If you want to see, mostly fan art or the random shit I do in my free time, go there

Currently watching heated rivalry, and lowkey live blogging it because I always have a comment to make

[fuuuckwhoknows]

I love the idea of Shane’s chirps just being observations.

It started when he was a kid and he was trying to help everyone get better at hockey including the opposing teams players, he would say something like “your stick grip is weak” or “you’re slow on your right” (idk i don’t know hockey very well ESPECIALLY little kid hockey) but he says it totally deadpan because little Shanebug doesn’t understand tone yet.

This makes the other teams so mad! They try and fight him constantly! Little bitty baby hockey fights and then Yuna sits him down in middle school after the first fight that he actually gets hurt (black eye and bloody lip) and asks him what he is saying to make everyone fight him?

“Nothing mean I swear mom!!! I’m trying to be nice and help correct their form”

And suddenly Yuna gets it and explains to Shane that not everyone but especially not the opposing team likes to have their flaws pointed out to them even if it’s coming from a good place and how that could be seen as chirping.

So he stops for a while, then his coach for world juniors tells him to try and piss off Rozanov enough that they can draw a penalty. So Shane does what he does best and points out a flaw at each face off. Jokes on him though because Ilya is actively changing those things and getting better every face off because he is taking it for what it is, advice.

Which pisses Shane off, he thinks his chirping tactic won’t work now that he is older. So he points out at his first scrimmage at practice in Montreal that the center who has been there for years (who he is probably replacing) is favoring his left side is staying too far left to compensate (again I don’t know hockey so I am trying to translate things I know about soccer lol)

And the center loses it on him! Immediately yelling about the lack of respect and how a rookie makes it to the MLH and thinks they are hot shit.

So Shane realizes his chirping DOES work just not on rozanov and becomes a menace he studies game tape specifically to find holes in his opponents game and pre prepares chirps and it fucking works because all these men are so far up their own asses that they just get mad instead of using the advice.

Idk I just needed Shane Chirping but in a very Shane way. Like he really just wants to play hockey but chirping is part of hockey so he studies chirping but doesn’t want to do any of the “classic” chirps (your mom! Your wife! Your girlfriend! You’re gay! Type of stuff) so he invents his own chirps out of his amazing mind

[softgnome]

Personally I do think that sometimes non-hockey fans can end up mischaracterizing Shane and Ilya because they don't know enough about hockey/hockey playstyles

The Ilya we see in Heated rivalry would not be throwing the first punch, he's not an enforcer. Ilya is a star center and a Pest. He wouldn't be doing his job correctly if he was punching players every other game, it would end up with not enough ice time to let him be the playmaker he's paid to be.

But being a pest can be playmaking! Find a player to bait, emotionally push them just enough that they try to fight you, and then get the fuck out of there before the ref gives you both penalties. This gets your team the power play. There is probably someone on Ilya's line dedicated to helping him get out of the fights he starts, and finishing them for him!

I also think this is also something that Shane would respect. Ilya is good at it and it's a good strategy for his team. I don't think Shane would see it as some dirty tactic, because Shane probably thinks everyone with a brain can see it for what it is! He probably thinks everyone should be able to see that being an asshole is a tactic for Ilya, that it's something to ignore and not fall for, that it's a strategy and not personal beef.

I think Shane's more disappointed when a Metro falls for it. Shane sees it as Ilya set up a Looney Toons ass obvious trap and one of his teammates ran into it. Why be mad at Bugs Bunny when you can be mad at your defenceman for falling for a fucking Bugs Bunny trap.

[byjove]

things not to say when someone tells you they’re having a baby, from a transgender autistic guy named Algernon who has experienced a lot of trial and error:

Why? I know this is the question you want to ask. You are not allowed to ask it. I’m not sure why it’s frowned upon but you can’t.

You should name it after me. Not funny. No one laughs. A selfish statement that takes the attention off the pregnant party and shifts it to you. This joke is a flop, save it for the next pet they get.

Is it mine? It’s not mine. I have no testicles. If there is a possibility it is yours, they’ll tell you. Probably. No one wants an interrogation in this moment.

[argillaforma]

ilya being in a period of Bad depression and between playing games and going to practice he doesn't really have the energy to do much else and he just kind of collapses when he gets home and he hasn't shaved in days and his hair is unruly and he just feels kinda gross and ugly but doesn't have the energy to do anything about it so shane is like Not On My Watch so he drags ilya into the tub and washes his hair with his special curly shampoo and carefully shaves his face and lathers him in too much body lotion which means he has to stand stark naked in the bathroom for 10 minutes before he can put clothes on and shane tries his best to do his curly hair routine for him he gets the special towel and the curl cream and his eyebrows furrow in concentration as he scrunches ilya's curls to the best of his abilities and ilya sits on the toilet lid with tears in his eyes

[hollanovbiter]

I know i have already discussed this ad nauseum, but I love that Shane never talks down to Ilya because of his weaker english skills. especially at the beginning when he’s just moved from russia. he just talks like he would with anyone else.

similarly, i love that ilya never teases or laughs at shane when he misses obvious conversational cues (re: ilya asking shane four times in florida if he is still seeing rose). he obviously finds it endearing mostly but even when he starts to get frustrated and just asks outright he never makes shane feel lesser or aware of his misstep. he’s endlessly patient with it

they are both just so earnest with each other, sort of unintentionally??? they really are like fated mates hehe <3

[parcai]

sometimes i think about how ilya is probably the first person in shane's life who gets actively excited when shane fails at things

not hockey obviously. normal things: burning dinner. getting lost. assembling furniture wrong. accidentally killing a plant

because everyone else spent his entire life treating competence like the most important thing about him. every achievement became evidence. every success became expectation

and ilya just thinks it's adorable. he's delighted by every proof that shane is, at his core, some guy, some guy who loves him more than anything else. and i think that's secretly healing for him in ways he never fully understands

[parcai]

ok let's expand on the shane failure thing. thinking about how ilya has a whole album in his phone. titled, organized, periodically revisited. ilya rozanov, two-time hart trophy winner

the chicken shane burned so badly that ilya held the pan up and said scott hunter will look at this and feel young before taking a photo. the bookshelf shane assembled backwards and didn't notice for three weeks—ilya noticed on day two and said nothing, just waited, and when shane finally clocked it ilya was in the other room and shane could hear him. the succession of unkillable succulents and cacti that shane somehow killed anyway. (there is a graveyard on the back porch. ilya calls it the memorial garden. he has named some of them. he tends to them with more visible affection than he gives most people.) the time shane got lost driving to an arena he had played in for six consecutive years.

there are others. the album is extensive. ilya adds to it with the sort of energy a who is building something important has. and the thing, the thing, is that he doesn't just find these tolerable. he doesn't endure them. he doesn't smile tightly and recalibrate expectations and love shane despite them, which is the mode shane spent most of his life existing in, the people who loved him holding his failures lightly and carefully like something that needed to be explained away

ilya lights up. every single time, the same way, like shane has done something wonderful by being, underneath the selkes and the captaincy and the thing the media does with his face and jaw, some guy. just some guy who kills plants and gets lost and burns chicken and loves him more than anything.

shane didn't know what to do with that for a long time. honestly he's not sure he did anything with it. he just. let it happen. let ilya take the photos and name the dead plants and do the thing with his face, the delighted thing, and tried not to think too hard about why it made his chest feel like a fist was opening in it. and then one day, just some tuesday, just another thing going wrong in the low-stakes way things go wrong in a life that is mostly very good, ilya takes out his phone, and shane doesn't feel the hum.

no buzz of humiliation in the back of his skull. no automatic how bad is this, how do i fix this, what does this say about me. nothing. just ilya laughing at his phone and shane watching him and feeling... fine. warm.

"send that to me," shane says. ilya looks up. "the chicken?" "yeah." a pause. "you want," ilya says slowly, like he's translating, "photo of chicken you burned. for yourself. to have." "yes." ilya looks at him for a long moment. something in his expression that shane has learned to recognize by now: ilya, knowing something is larger than it seems and deliberating what to do with it

he sends the photo. shane makes it his lock screen. for a week, every time he picks up his phone, there it is, the pan. the carbonized, fossilized remains. and shane looks at the photo and smiles. not at the chicken, or not only at the chicken exactly, but mostly at the specific knowledge that somewhere on ilya's phone there is an album, organized, curated, periodically revisited, of every time shane hollander was just some guy. and ilya thought it was worth keeping.

[grabmybush]

‘shane’s the mum because he takes it up the ass-‘ as if ilya isn’t the most team mum to ever mother and as if shane doesnt have a toolbelt he brings out every time his husband wants to put up a picture

[inkskinned]

something about love makes you look at things differently. the really important part of this is that any love will work. if you love blue you will see it everywhere. if you love soft things you will note the cat and the thread count and the moss. you will find your best friend in ugly greeting cards and haunted dolls and terrible fanfics and since they remind you of her they will be beautiful.

so you will love the world differently for having loved someone else. you will love a certain cereal or pokemon because of your brother. you will hear your favorite band's song playing in a random store and the love of it will make the whole world a little more golden. you will read a poem so many times the words become their own creatures. you will find you cannot listen to certain music without thinking of your favorite show.

this velveteen rabbit transformation occurs. the love does not stop, it echoes.

[chinesewednesday]

[godfrey-the-chaos-duck]

@achilleanauthor

[ruffboi-mags]

Babe I would be at the counter making arrangements to have it delivered and asking about payment plans before you could state your refusal.

[lavenderprose]

Ilya is so lucky that Shane proposed. Ilya would have been a nervous fucking wreck for the entire day beforehand. Wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror. Today's the day. Sob. Breathe. Okay I'm good! Turn around and Shane's hair is all in his face, still asleep on Ilya's pillow. I am NOT good. Cold shower. Breakfast that Ilya does not eat. Morning jog wherein Ilya runs like someone is chasing him. Lunch that Ilya does not eat. Drive out to the cottage. Make Shane pull over because Ilya needs to dry heave on the side of the road. "Baby we don't have to drive out today if you're not feeling well." "NO WE HAVE TO." Get to the cottage. Immediately send Shane on some kind of extended fool's errand. Shane wants to stay because Ilya is SHAKING and he is so worried. "No my love I'm fine it's just the breeze off the lake haha." It's thirty fuckig degrees Celsius. Shane finally gtfo's. Yuna, David, Rose FUCKING Landry all descend to help Ilya set up. Well. Ilya is supposed to be helping but he is standing on the deck fully dissociating. Yuna brings him tea. "Are you going to throw up the tea?" "Yes probably." Yuna takes away the tea. 800 electronic tea lights on the deck. In a parallel Ilya has no way of understanding, he both puts on and takes off a suit. Yuna fixes his curls into the hockey boy quasi-mullet that magnetizes Shane's fingers to Ilya's hair and says, "Oh, you're so handsome!" Ilya cries big fat tears. David tells a story about how his proposal to Yuna almost didn't happen because David went to the hospital for heart palpitations that morning. Thank You David That Does Not Help Even Remotely. Ilya slav squats on the lawn for twenty minutes. Shane's car pulls up in the driveway and everyone hides while Ilya vibrates in the entryway. Shane has no less than thirty grocery bags hanging from his arms, still complaining about why the grocery service cancelled their delivery last minute. Ilya leads Shane and all thirty of his grocery bags onto the deck. Shane is doing his favorite thing (bitching) and his second favorite thing (Follow Ilya) so he doesn't notice his own mother tiptoing behind him collecting the grocery bags he drops like breadcrumbs. There is an Oscar-winning actress hiding under his sofa and Shane does not notice because Ilya takes him on the deck and drops to his knees and Shane is like, "Haha, right now?" and then he sees that Ilya has a look on his face like he's just been told the sun is never coming up again and he has his hands on Shane's knees and he is saying, "Shane. Please?" and Shane puts his hands on his head and says "Oh my God baby what's happening to you" as Ilya melts and melts and then from the depths of the cottage someone who sounds a lot like Shane's very own father is whispering "The ring the ring" and when he looks back down Ilya is fumbling a ring box out of his pocket. The first picture of their proposal is Shane glaring into the middle distance with a hand cradling Ilya's curls like a baby while Ilya ugly sobs into his knee.

[nettlepixie]

biblically accurate ilya rozanov proposal

[ivviannaa]

i think it would heal shane to have some of the centaurs flirt with him. i think it would do him some good for them to slap his ass. i think it'd be nice if someone jumped on his back and he gave them a piggyback ride. i think he would secretly enjoy having the rookies use him as their pillow while waiting at the airport

i just think it'd be good for him to get to experience the parts of locker room culture that are playful and affectionate when he never got them because montreal operated under the logic of you like guys which means you MUST like me and that's a personal threat to my masculinity

[lavenderprose]

The thing about the Cottage is that yes they are making love. Yes they are saying the most emotionally vulnerable shit that they have ever said to another living person. Yes they are going at it missionary style bathed in moonlight and calling each other baby about it.

They are also, crucially, having the filthiest and nastiest sex that two guys in their twenties with an extremely willing monogamous partner can think up. Things are WILD. They are Yes And'ing each other in ways that they are legit going to have to process by sitting quietly alone in a room for an entire day at some point in the future.

They're going at it raw, of course. Ilya is spitting in his mouth and making Shane thank him for the privilege, then calling him a slut when he does. Shane is letting Ilya chase him through the woods. He's wrapping Ilya's fingers around his neck and begging while Ilya tightens his grip. Ilya decides at one point that if Shane can't come on his cock alone then he doesn't get to come. Shane doesn't receive oral a single time at the Cottage without having to swallow his own cum. Ilya walks around with a piece of gauze on his forearm because Shane bit him and drew blood. Ilya fucks Shane with his nose way up inside Shane's armpit the entire time, huffing and licking. Ilya comes on Shane's face in the shower and Shane is so far down and loves the feeling of being marked so much that he asks Ilya to piss on him. Shane is never more than two minutes away from having Ilya's tongue or dick in one of his holes, no warning given aside from a command to spread his legs or get on his knees.

It's a fucking tour de force of debauchery. And this, too, is lovemaking.

[ilya-sweetheart]

married shane who now feels confident enough to say no to things

“honey, reebok wants to renew the contract—”

“i fucking hate their shoes, i’d rather walk barefoot”

“oh…”

- - -

“hey are you free to join me and the kids to the carnival this friday?”

“no i wanna stay in bed all day with my husband, there’s a new season of house hunters”

“right…i’ll ask JJ then”

- - -

“feel free to say no, but could you—”

“no”

“i didn’t even say what it was”

“unless it’s ’spend the day with your husband’ my answer is no”

[grabmybush]

ilya rozanov who’s known to boston as the mysterious fuckboy from russia who chirps like he’s getting paid for it and is crazy good at hockey. one day a teammate is absent from a few games in a row and turns back up to practice with a fucking newborn and they’re all in their hockey gear fawning over this tiny baby. then once everyone’s said hi before practice, the crowd parts and ilyas just stood by the doorway, a literal deer in headlights staring at the bundle of blankets in his teammates arms and-

“do you wanna hold him?”

ilya’s moving forward before he can process the words and everyone’s holding their breath as he gathers the newborn into his arms, pausing to take his gloves off first. it’s a few tense seconds before the baby babbles and shifts slightly before tucking his head into the crook of his arm and swiftly falling to sleep.

ilya looks up to see his whole team stifling grins, “i think we’ve found the new babysitter” and he bites back a chirp because he doesn’t want to wake the baby he’s holding so delicately to his chest.

he’s stuck on the sidelines for the whole practice while he rocks the baby through the slams against walls, waving its little arm towards its dad when it eventually wakes up.

and yeah pictures surface soon after of fucking rozanov staring down at the baby in his arms with the fucking softest eyes and twitter has a field day proving he’s a softie at heart

[pxssionate-intensity]

Ilya and Shane, on top of being The Lovebirds Of All Time, are best fucking friends.

Shane is the #1 person Ilya gossips with. Since Shane isn’t the best on picking up subtext, all of the drama Ilya has to share is a complete surprise to him. Which makes him both the most entertained by the gossip and the most entertaining gossip partner.

Shane has an extremely dry sense of humor, and in public he’ll whisper deadpan commentary into Ilya’s ear while Ilya tries not to cry laughing.

Ilya has a very dark sense of humor that makes most people who hear it uncomfortable, but not Shane. Shane thinks it’s absolutely hilarious every time.

Ilya and Shane love to sit in the same room, do separate activities, and barely speak to each other. Shane will read a book while Ilya plays a video game, and one of them will have their feet in the other’s lap.

While everyone in the league thinks Ilya is a huge asshole, Shane thinks he’s hilarious. In fact, Shane usually agrees with Ilya’s chirps and will not defend anyone against them.

I just love the idea that they’re absolute best friends.