nettlepixie

sounds gay i’m in she/her 🩷💙💜

[nettlepixie]

love the new update to your infidelity chapter and that comment section is so active and has a lot of opinions but i am sideeying how some ppl are commenting on the characters, its getting a little weird.

anon, i see you, i love you, people are entitled to their opinions but just know i am choosing to protect my peace 😶‍🌫️

[oatmealdiva]

troy, homophobically, after watching a joint interview of shane and ilya: they’re probably fucking

troy, homosexually, after ilya comes out to him: they’re probably fucking

[nettlepixie]

feeling really emotional over the infidelity fic rn. cheating in fandom spaces is an interesting trope bc it’s rarely ever engaged with Seriously. it’s always “X cheated on A so now B can rescue A and A and B (the ship) can be together” or “A cheated on X with B but it’s okay bc A and B are the ship and X is bad” yknow? i have a complicated relationship with cheating, very similar to yuna in your story, my mom cheated on my dad and my dad forgave her and they went to therapy and they are still together and very much love eachother. and that is so hard for some people to comprehend, that it’s not necessarily a Purely Bad Thing. this is all to say, i appreciate what you’ve written and i think it’s very well done and im very excited for the final chapter.

i feel for luca the most, poor guy!

hello! i SO appreciate this, thank you for sending it (and for sharing your parents’ story).

probably because of some big life things at the moment, i am really in a shades-of-grey place atm and so yeah i did want to write something a bit messy and a bit complicated. do i condone infidelity-fic-ilya’s actions? hell no! but can i kind of understand them. i think so.

to get personal in turn (and this is a scary thing to say because people have BIG feelings about cheating and the black and white morality of it) but i have known since i was a teenager that i am the kind of person who could cheat. i make poor and impulsive decisions around sex, esp when drunk. i also like sex a lot! i’m curious about it with different people, my threshold for attraction is low (this seems like i’m saying i have no standards lol but i think it’s more it’s common for me to find people sexy!)

now bc i know this i take a lot of care in relationships not to get into a position where it could happen, and so far it hasn’t. BUT i do think this means i can see the psychological and environmental circumstances where it does happen. if you’re someone on the other side of the equation i totally get why you might not be able to empathise AT ALL, but this was the starting position for the fic - hollanov infidelity is something i really think could happen if you take canon and give it a twist

also you know what i’ve started yapping about my personal life, why stop here. there’s another thing, tw for grief and suicide discussion below the cut

i recently lost my younger sibling to suicide. they were terminally depressed, and so i think some of the stronger reactions to the fic have slightly surprised me because like….. them dying was the worst thing they could have “done to” us, me, my parents, their wife. and i can’t pretend part of grief is dealing with that anger. but it’s also understanding and accepting the way their brain worked (or more accurately didn’t work) in that state.

does this mean i think every single person with depression can do whatever the fuck they want and never face consequences? no! but for me it’s another mark in the column of “people are complicated and their minds can play tricks on them and sometimes you can respond to that with grace even if they’ve hurt you so deeply in the process”

WOW a long and oversharey answer but yeah in conclusion PLEASE GOD SOMEONE RESCUE LUCA HAAS

[nettlepixie]

I don’t think you linked anything in your chapter 6 post

GREAT spot fixed 🫡🫡🫡

[buffyyyyy]

spike in season four

[gaynehollander]

My Shane and Ilya are both incredibly possessive of one another and quick to jealousy but while Ilya gets jealous in a “everyone wants you but they can’t have you, you’re mine and I will delight in showing everyone what they’re missing out on” way, Shane gets jealous in a “I will burn this club down with both of us in it” way.

[hollanderthoughts]

hayden keeps telling me its so awesome to have a captain who appreciates the sober lifestyle and im like thats great man but i dont think where i go when im sucking dick and cock counts as being “sober” to be completely honest like idk if it’s the taste or just the weight of it or whatever but I’m like. Not on this planet anymore.

[hollanderthoughts]

Stop telling me to google search “submissive” and “subspace ”. I have done that several times. This is about getting cock drunk, which is real and a completely separate thing that means far less about myself as a person than the thing you’re thinking of. It’s different.

[hollanderthoughts]

Well of course there’s shame. There’s always shame.

[hollanderthoughts]

of course there’s also love…

[hollanderthoughts]

Which comes with a lot more shame. Yea.

[fuckrozanov]

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

[nettlepixie]

make me feel something

chapters: 6/7

tags: infidelity, toxic hollanov

Luca looks like a cornered prey animal, with those big blue eyes. Shane can see why Ilya likes him. “Um,” Luca says. But Shane holds up a hand and he goes quiet. Shane has all the skill required to pull off shots like the one he stole from Ilya, feints and tricks to fool the goaltender into diving one way when you plan to go the other. But he’s always secretly liked the slapshot. When you’re as good as he is, can target it almost as precisely as tapping the puck home, it has a certain honesty, direct and brutal. “Did Ilya tell you?” he asks. His voice is conversational and mild. “Sorry,” Luca says. “What?”

Shane and Ilya had a plan. Ilya being outed by pictures of him getting a blowjob in an alleyway behind a club from Luca Haas was not part of the plan.

The penultimate chapter (!!) of my not-very-nice Hollanov infidelity fic.

[nettlepixie]

I do love your infidelity fic because I think it was a very real possibility they could have gone down if TLG wasn’t written for its genre audience. And I also don’t view infidelity as this black and white issue- I think it happens for multiple different reasons individual to the person and the relationship and there’s also different ways it manifests. All in all to say that it’s delicious to sink my teeth in rawer, uglier versions of their canon selves.

thank you thank you thank you this is SO kind bc activating the dark seeds of things latent in canon but not fit for the romance genre was EXACTLY the goal of the fic

and on infidelity, i'm kind of with you. i have absolutely no judgement for those with stronger views/red lines especially with how they may have been treated in the past, but i think i said in response to a previous post, i bring a certain "there but for the grace of god go i" to my politics that means yeah i think there are the right combination of psychological and environmental circumstances for everyone that can make us do awful things and so the question is what comes after, what does the road to change and forgiveness look like

though to be clear, in this fic, i'm not sure that is the question lol no change, no forgiveness, only mess and angst

[probablily]

I just love it when things are earnest like everyone get more earnest now

[handsywoman]

welcome to Pound Town population: Shane Hollander

[nettlepixie]

i’m not saying anything anyone hasn’t said before but god i love fan culture, i love collaborative creativity, i love beta readers and commenters giving you new ideas, i love the way fic comments are FOR authors in a way that, say, goodreads reviews can never be

i have a couple of traditionally published books and that’s a huge honour and privilege but publishing is ultimately a business selling a product and it’s just so playful and fulfilling to come into the sandbox and do the work for love not pay and feel the collective endeavour of it UGH it’s given me a new passion for writing at a difficult time, so yeah thank god for fandom man

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

ilya comes back from therapy with galina like three months after this fight (of course it was a fight) and with the same candor as ashley padilla in then mom confession sketch goes i’m only going to say this once and i’m only going to say it if after i do you promise you will not react no talking no faces no nothing and shane’s on the couch reading like uh. what’s going on? and ilya goes what i have to tell you. Is that I think I was treated unfairly. By my mom. and of course shane makes a face and ilya is reacting like a wild fucking animal

[scunthotter]

I'm rereading heated rivalry the book and book Shane is so competitive that when they first hook up and Ilya swallows when Shane doesn't, Shane feels like Ilya beat him at gay blow jobs. #hashtagmyshane

[nettlepixie]

I was so excited to see the early update and I’m looking forward to seeing how this all (painfully) wraps up !!! I hope you don’t get any wild comments at the ending, this fandom can be so intense. But there are also plenty of us out there who are eating this up with a spoon😋. And hopefully you take inspiring such passionate responses as compliments to how affecting your writing is!!!

I am as toxic as Shane and Ilya because I’m having wildly different reactions to their chapters—

My reaction at Shane going through it:

😭😭😭😭😭

My reaction this chapter at Ilya going through it:

😈😈😈😈😈

Ilya just suffers so beautifully while Shane I want to wrap in a blanket like a baby.

aw bless you for sending this!!! no i really do take it as a compliment that people have STRONG views on the infidelity fic but it has maybe surprised me a bit!

i've said in a few of the comment threads there it's a crucial part of my politics that anybody under any psychological and environmental circumstances would do almost anything (hence prison abolition btw!) and so while that doesn't mean i think ilya is behaving well or excusably in this fic, i think i have some empathy for him whereas for other people it seems like cheating is a really bright red line that once you've crossed there's no redeeming you - has been fascinating to see those interpretations play out! but yeah, given i'm not planning this as a story where everyone gets their just desserts i'm a bit nervous the people who want his head on a pitchfork may be disappointed...

also i completely get you about the different activation of angsty feelings in response to shane and ilya going Through It. i basically think these versions of them are great at self-sabotage/putting themselves in the torment nexus, but ilya does this in a way that also causes a LOT of harm to everyone around him whereas shane does it in a way that hurts predominantly himself and a little bit ilya, so makes sense you'd be like "well well well ilya if it isn't the consequences of your own actions" vs "shane bby noooo we all knew this would happen but come on"