my bio is updated for the first time in 3 years @blueseamstress - Tumblr Blog

my watery friend... are you too brushed with the pattern of the dappled light...?

[ID: a photograph of a seal with a blobby splotchy silver pattern on its back that resembles light refracting in water, next to a photo of light's flowing white stripes at the bottom of a pool. Second set of images is a fawn ccurled up in the grass, next to a forested trail aglow with dappled light spots. end id.]

redrum-sketches

dappled with light

theconcealedweapon

strongermonster

now that i’m older and understand how absolutely fucked the housing market is, all those horror movies that take place in nice houses where the family refuses to leave make sense. if i had a 4,000sqft vintage home you’d need to kill me before i ever moved out as well. fuck the ghost. charge it rent.

liberalsarecool

The thousands of men in power who rape, torture, and kill children while corrupting every system they touch for their own gain are much worse than we think.

All these thousands of horrible men are in Trump's orbit and Russia knows all of it.

liberalsarecool

What are the odds?

calmdowngorgeous

Destroy the myth that libraries are no longer relevant. If you use your library, please reblog.

segamascott

liberalsarecool

Men made decisions to rape with fellow rapists. They decided sexual abuse and torture were bonding experiences.

Language matters. Stop removing men from their active role in raping children.

fjordfolk

i know this isn't the reguar theme of this blog but i need to share it somewhere because today someone called my local fire department because they found

a horse

fjordfolk

and not only was it a not-dead horse, they dug it up and it was

a lil muddy, mostly

ratinthevoid

xenthosss

Reading Critical Role discourse is SO fucking funny because there's a lot of fandom discourse and people mad like 'It's so annoying how Caleb always gets the main character role' and 'Matt Mercer's favorite is clearly Caleb' like oh My God, y'all could not be more wrong

Matt Mercer tried very hard to make encounters that are tricky but will not kill off the team members if they play well, the one guy he killed was a complete accident when a freakish amount of factors combined paired with too many bad dice rolls

BUT IF HE DID kill off characters then oh boy Caleb would be the first to fucking go. Do you have any Goddamn idea how many times Caleb throws the worlds heaviest wrench in his plans?

None of y'all have ever been a DM before and it shows. The reason they always cut to break after Caleb does something epic and badass and unpredictable is because the DM needs to pivot HARD and Matt needs a minute to figure it out.

aro-narcissus

Starting a collection

charlesoberonn

♫ It's fun to stay at the ♫

redstonedust

'being single sucks because youll be lonely' lame and untrue. 'being single sucks because a lot of groceries are portioned to make food for more than one person and you cant really take advantage of buying in bulk because it'll go bad before you use it all' this i cannot deny.

writing-prompt-s

A Genie offers you one wish, and you modestly wish to have a very productive 2017. The genie misunderstands, and for the rest of your life, every 20:17 you become impossibly productive for just 60 seconds.

flavoracle

“Well, it was a nice day.” You kiss your sweetheart gently on the forehead and sigh as the last remaining seconds of 20:16 tick away. “See you at 8:18,” you say.

Then it happens. Every ounce of fatigue or hunger leaves your body. The face of your beloved is perfectly still, their expression exactly the same. The ticking of the clock on the wall has stopped. Once again, it’s 20:17.

You stretch your arms and walk to the table with the homework for the three doctorates you’re working on. The work is mentally stimulating and enjoyable, but it’s finished far too quickly. You check your pocket watch and see that not even one hundredth of a second has passed.

You knew it was too soon to be able to see any movement on the watch, but you can never quite help yourself from looking early on every 20:17. Time to move on.

You clean your home, do your budget, then go outside and fix a noise that your car was making earlier that afternoon. (Oh how you already miss afternoons.) Then you go back inside, boot up your computer (which magically speeds up to keep pace with you as long as you’re in contact with it) and check for any new orders.

You’ve set up a website for the small business you started called “Magic Elf Services.” People in your area can pay a modest fee on your site to have different tasks and odd jobs done by “The Magic Elf” at 8:17pm every day. It was a little slow to get started, but word has spread and these days you have a steady stream of clients.

The money that comes in from the business is nice, but you’re mostly grateful that it gives you a clear list of things to do. You print off your updated list of clients, step outside, and start making your way through the neighborhood with your to-do list.

There’s the apartments down your street where several neighbors have hired you to tidy up, do the dishes, and mop the floors. You do the windows too, just to see if they notice. There’s the large house across town that paid the “Magic Elf” to clean out the gutters. After the first dozen jobs are done, you manage to stop looking at your pocket watch.

As near as you’ve been able to determine in the past, 20:17 seems to last for approximately one normal year. But it’s not exact. For one thing, it’s hard to keep track of “time” when everything but you has crawled to an almost total standstill. For another thing, time seems to move differently depending on how “productive” your behavior is. One time you tried to spend all of 20:17 sitting at home in your pajamas, but that was getting you nowhere, so you eventually gave up and got busy. (Though you defiantly stayed in your pajamas the whole time.)

During 20:17 your body doesn’t get tired, hungry, sick, or injured. You’re essentially tireless and immortal for the duration of the “minute.” So sleeping or eating away your boredom has never really worked for you.

One of the houses on your list forgot to follow the instructions and leave a key for you to get in. At first you figure you’ll just send them an email telling them to pay more attention and that you’ll do the job tomorrow. Then you decide to go home, get your locksmith tools, and come back.

After finishing up all the jobs on your list, you go into several other homes and small businesses in the area, performing tasks you hope they’ll find helpful, and leaving a hand-painted business card at each one. (The business cards don’t contain your real name just in case somebody thinks “The Magic Elf” should be subject to breaking and entering laws.)

Speaking of laws, you head down to the local police station to pick up your case file. You’ve been in contact with a detective who’s been investigating corruption within their department, and your ability to investigate unseen and get in almost anywhere between the ticks of the clock has proven invaluable. You see that they’ve also added five missing person cases to your file this evening, which certainly raises your interest in the job.

You make your way through town gathering evidence, and start making your way to the outskirts of town. Since you happen to be out that way (and you’ve already solved three of the five missing person cases) you decide to swing by the stone castle you’re building and do some more work there.

The castle walls stand about 20 feet right now, but you know they’ll be much higher when you’re done. You’re far from any roads and pretty safely tucked away, so for now it’s your little secret. You’ve been excavating and moving all the rock yourself, which has been much easier than you first expected since your body doesn’t get tired or sore. You’ve also got a nice system of tunnels going underneath the castle, and you dig and build more of that network for a while.

All that time spent underground has left you feeling rather lonely, so you walk back home to see the face of your sweetheart. Their facial expression has moved ever so slightly since you last saw them, which is a comfort to you. Looking at them gets your imagination going and makes you dream up a story you’d like to tell, so you sit on your couch, plug in your laptop, and write a book.

After you finish editing the last chapter for the third time, you finally allow yourself to look at your pocket watch again. Three seconds have officially passed so far.

It’s gonna be a long 20:17.

stevishabitat

Have we added this to the Tumblr Folk Tales masterlist yet?

flavoracle

That last comment put a big old smile on my face 😁

nonbinary-octopus

pretty sure I first read this shortly after it was posted. I still think about it occasionally in my day-to-day life. I hadn’t realized it was already eight years old.

dankmemeuniversity

justsomerandomgaynerd

pangur-and-grim

.......I fucked up so bad.

I've been teaching Belphie not to jump on Pangur, cause she's old and arthritic and doesn't like it. and as part of my "training", I've been giving him a treat every times he stops his evil actions and trots over to me.

I thought I was training him to come when called. in actuality, I've been training him to bite Pangur. so now he'll jump on her, chew her ear, and then make bird-of-prey eye contact with me from across the room. and the worst thing is I'VE ALSO BEEN GIVING PANGUR A TREAT EACH TIME (so she doesn't feel left out). which means that she'll whimper pathetically from Belphie biting her, and then also make intense eye contact with me, because she's been conditioned to expect treats afterward.

I have accidentally made the most fucked up dynamic possible with both of these cats.

pangur-and-grim