Killer Whale, Creamy Center

Erika, plaid goblin, Boston (derogatory)

[odd-maid3n]

[knight--error]

[therobotmonster]

[leothewerelion]

inshallah he will be drank

[animentality]

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

“Who yells?” Is unquestionably the best broad city line i think about it every time someone raises their voice even slightly

[delux22]

Joe Greene, born 1983 (Canadian, Iroquois, Cayuga wolf clan). "Heron", soapstone

[matchagirl]

[evenlyevi]

See you again

[oliviawebsite]

taking the fat clit express!!!!!

[sic-s3mper-tyrannis]

[geminiagentgreen]

[dragonprincessmew]

[visenyaism]

Marylanders don’t say hi hello how are you my name is they just try to kill you with their car. which is of course a great honor in their culture

[visenyaism]

In Northern Virginia the country of my birth people kill you with their car because you deserve it. sic semper tyrannis

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[squeakitties]

the prawn bomb exploded into shrimpnel

[squeakitties]

a lot of people were krilled

[dogpuppy]

[mandywondering]

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

[dietspam16]

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

[woodrider]

Bruh this coffee I bought is so good I'm so fuckin alert rn I could probably do a math problem

[woodrider]

I don't know

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[dailycatsblog]

[thrawlane]

had an idea