a frog among swans

I'm EJ and I'm an inquisitive gay lump of talking meat.

[terrypratchettparadise]

“Humans are always slightly lost. It’s a basic characteristic. It explains a lot about them.”

- Terry Pratchett - Lords and Ladies

[gluten-free-pussy]

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

[animution11]

[royalhans]

polar opposite of this post

[hrmsketches]

inspiration struck and would not let me go until i drew this

[gluten-free-pussy]

This is really beautiful!!!

[pendragyn]

holy hell that art tho

[bog-dweller]

Hello lovelies!

I forget about Tumblr sometimes. So! An update!

1. I moved from Horley to Exeter. 

2. I had a new job in Exeter at noted cheap airline Flybe. 

3. I was so scared to take time off work because then it would be an “HR issue” that I didn’t go to the doctor after spending a week puking blood. 

4. I ended up in hospital needing multiple blood transfusions as a result!

5. I lost my job. 

6. I got a new job pretty quick though! Not as well paid, but I like it better. 

7. Flybe went under anyway, so I would have lost my job sooner or later anyway.

8. I’m now on furlough from work because I have CF so I have to self isolate. Unfortunately, HR have not bothered putting through my furlough pay on time so I am poor. Boooo!

9. But I am at least alive. Hey, look, this is how I look now! At least my new job lets me have silly hair and my manager calls me to make sure I’m doing OK and know I’m still employed there. 

10. Quarantine is less than ideal. It’s been over a month since I’ve been allowed outside now. 

11. Buuuuut I suppose at least I can work on arts and crafts. I’m currently needle felting a human centipede necklace. 

12. Anyway, I hope you’re all well. Did I miss any “digging up bones for witchcraft” level drama?

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

[bog-dweller]

I had a doctors appointment the other day and I had to hand over the autism assessment form. He said it sounded about right and referred me to the adult autism and ADHD services. My ma rang later to ask how it went and was like “Ok, but don’t put labels on yourself, you’ve obviously been fine up until now, now, did you ask him about your excessive body hair?”

Interesting priorities. I told her he was just like “shrug, it’s not that excessive, you’re just pale with dark hair” and she was like “I’m not accepting that, I will find a way to get rid of it”. So if I show up resembling a naked mole rat at some point in the future, you’ll know her weird experiment worked.

[ripe]

[ottermatopoeia]

B……….. babby. …….

[icarusislaughing-deactivated202]

He looks like a tiny funko pop and I’m crying

[bojokehorseman]

[lsleofskye]

Seiser Alm | daniel_weissenhorn

Location: Dolomites, Italy

[shittycryptids]

an octopus with a bowtie, top hat, tapshoes, and it tapdances everywhere it goes

[mossywetlog-deactivated20251007]

change ur fucking name op

[jupiterlicivciv]

[saythefisherman]

Thanos is a weak ass bitch of a villain because ever since killmonger I need all my villains to pull up with some style, looks, a certain je ne sais quoi. Killmonger stole a thousand year old artifact and wore it as armor and wore solid gold fangs. What did Thanos wear? The same body armor for hundreds of years and a dumb glove that wasn’t even designer

[saythefisherman]

People are all like “he’s an alien” like so was Hela and she pulled up with some iconic goth looks, Chanel horned helmet, a beautiful smokey eye, nails that could cut diamonds, Thanos has no excuse fashion is universal

[writemeasandwich]

“Perfectly balanced, as all things should be” oh I’m sorry Thanos I couldn’t hear you over your brown pants from fucking K-Mart

[luthorsandsupers-blog]

[goblinsnufkin-deactivated201905]

same energy

[yallive-deactivated20260426]

just………… Decadence

[frogs]

she’s glamour

[byjove]

Victor refusing to make the Monster a wife because he was worried they’d breed is such a cop out. Like, you’re cobbling together body parts from charnel houses. You can just not give her any ovaries. You can just spay her like a cat. Why are you this dumb Victor. You’re a doctor.

[byjove]

the implication that victor spend weeks giving the monster a working dick is also extremely weird

[techskylander]

Something to remember is that Victor didn’t just give the monster a working dick! He wanted his creation to be made of the best parts of men-it’s why the monster is made up of so many different pieces rather than one fresh corpse, why he’s so large, and why Victor is disappointed that he isn’t beautiful.

So, what does this mean? It means that Victor looked at the dicks of various corpses, testing not only to make sure they work, but also to find what he considered to be the best corpse dick. Does this mean the monster was extremely hung? Or did Victor simply pick the dick that seemed most attractive to him? Did he memorize the appearance of the dicks, or did he line them up to compare?

We’ll never know, because the original story never touches on the subject, and it’s one of the few flaws in Mary Shelley’s work.

[byjove]

I know I started this conversation but I’m so sorry I did

[fleur-marigold]

i don’t care about zodiac signs or alignment charts!!!!!!!

what freakin eeveelution are you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fleur-marigold]

i’m flareon

[lesbianatlarge]

here’s a quiz to help you out!

[socialjusticesummoner]

psssst the reason feminists don’t advocate for the drafting of women in the armed forces is because conscription in and of itself violates core feminist values such as bodily autonomy. the feminist position on who should or should not be drafted is not “everyone should be drafted equally”, it is “nobody should be drafted at all”.

and if your feminism is thorough, you’re opposed to the imperialist and militarist mindsets that create a conscription service to begin with but, you know, whatever

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

Another good post from God herself

[avadcniels]

this is too real. thanks i hate it