Crow Thoughts at 5 Am

If you're seeing this, then apologize to your mom.

[theuniversesmind]

[bonecrow5-blog]

Fuck me and all that I stand for, I don't wanna

[noahnomore]

[bonecrow5-blog]

I consider this evolution at its finest. Who wants to actively go to church other than virgins trying to do some Christian mingling and middle aged mothers looking to torture their kids for having to audacity of being born.

[firelorcl]

nobody’s dick is big when you think of how small we are in the universe

[ruinedchildhood]

[bonecrow5-blog]

Don't make statements when you don't know they're true. Much like the Buddha, my dick is ONE with the universe.

[bonecrow5-blog]

I must say and i cannot emphasize enough, CAW

[bonecrow5-blog]

"I've come to slay the evil that has ravaged the land, i must hurry for the people need me"

"I MUST KILL CHAOS BEFORE FOOT LOCKER CLOSES! RRGGAAAAHHHGGSGSGSH"

[wayneradiotv]

[bonecrow5-blog]

You've left me no choice, i've expended my mind, body, and gas to bring you this pizza and you dare not tip me even a single dollar? Prepare to kiss your broke ass goodbye

[yesterdaysprint]

[bonecrow5-blog]

So thats what they've been feeding the frogs

[cometcrystal]

gender

[bonecrow5-blog]

What they don't know is that Shaggy's packing heat in that dress.

[grenade-maid]

It's amazing how people can just bold faced say "These greedy childcare workers want SEVENTEEN dollars an hour? I'm making twenty and barely getting by, how am I supposed to pay them that!" with no self awareness of what they're saying. Like sir if you are struggling at 20$/hr and the babysitter lives in the same town as you, pray tell how you think her life is somehow easier than yours when she's making even less than you per hour, while also needing to buy her own insurance and with no pension for retirement because you have benefits and she doesn't. Oh that's right, that kind of thing doesn't occur to you, because to you she's just a machine you extract value from.

This is what capitalism does to a mfer. Never think about making things better for anyone else, only cheaper for you.

[halfgayfullgayconsequences]

“Hello Little Caesars? 5 orders of Normal Bread please.”

[bonecrow5-blog]

Will that be with or without bones

[urfavhatesterfs]

YOU hates terfs

[switchingtogeico]

[captainhaterade]

[stankpasta]

rb if u hates terfs

[vadergf]

Rb if you support trans women and think they’re wonderful🥰

[bonecrow5-blog]

Me and my murder hate turfs

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

He lunged after my cock like he was a polar bear. And I was the last coca cola on earth

[bonecrow5-blog]

Unfortunately it was diet coke.

In other words a SMaLl dIcK

[qrgirl-deactivated20220303]

[bonecrow5-blog]

This man was making the soundtrack to his own death

[dingdongyouarewrong]

one time i was in a pub in london and saw lemonade on the menu and i was like mmmm lemonade!!! but i’ve been to australia and been tricked before so i was like hey is this actual lemonade lemonade or is it just sprite and she was like it’s actual lemonade so i ordered some and she brought it back and it was sprite. i hate england

[dingdongyouarewrong]

[aprilslady]

They just meant it didn’t have lime in it

[dingdongyouarewrong]

sprite has lime in it wym

[thoughtsofadame]

honestly only americans who have been to england or australia or new zealand understand the frustration.  Also you literally can’t even explain to them what real lemonade is. they simply don’t get it

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i’m actually not american i just have functioning taste buds. but GOD HONESTLY like “sprite is a type of lemonade because it has lemon flavouring in it!” no. go to jail. lemonade does not have lime and corn syrup in it, and it’s not carbonated. that’s not a sweet refreshing summer beverage, it’s canned sadness. 

[pseudinymous]

These guys are honestly right. In Australia there is nothing that even closely resembles American “lemonade”. You’d have to make it yourself. I only vaguely know how to make it from American cartoons and it’s never sounded even slightly appetising. I guess it’s like Vegemite. You have to grow up with it.

[themunofprovidence]

If you’re insinuating that lemonade is like vegemite than you’re an idiot that has never tried lemonade. 

[truffledmadness]

GUYS. 

I don’t know about Australia, but I live in England, and there’s a CODE. There is a CODE you can use to make them understand you want ACTUAL LEMONADE and not SPRITE OR ITS COUSIN FROM ASDA.

You ready?

The code is: “Is it like Fentimans?”

Fentimans is literally the only UK-available company I know to produce actual lemonade. The Actual Lemonade is called Victorian Lemonade, and it’s delicious, and they make an also-delicious Rose and Lemon variation. And most UK pub landlords and such will at least be aware of Fentimans (they provide a lot of mixers to pubs, and ginger beer), so when you ask if the lemonade is “like Fentimans”, they’ll know what you mean.

[dingdongyouarewrong]

god bless you

[bakurapika]

Also if you’re wondering what all the fuss is about American lemonade, yes it’s good and refreshing, but it’s also part of the stereotypical American Childhood to make and sell lemonade on hot days on your street. Even if we didn’t sell it, many of us made it ourselves as kids, so it’s a nostalgic drink. 

I personally always used canned, frozen lemon juice, where you just need to stir it in and let it melt -

This is cheaper than the real thing, and it sounds like yall don’t have this in your stores anyway. So here! Here is A Lemonade Recipe. You don’t need to be complicated about it–just chuck it all into a jug and stir.

Some sugar (1-2 cups depending on sweetness), dissolved in a little hot water

Some lemon juice (1-2 cups depending on tartness. you can squeeze this fresh or use lemon juice from the store)

water (around 6 cups, add more if it tastes too strong)

Put it in the refrigerator. When you’re ready to serve, stick some ice cubes in it. Boom. Lemonade. 

It’s three ingredients, one of the ingredients is water, takes almost no time to make (hell, if you use less water and more ice cubes, you probably don’t even need to refrigerate) and can be adjusted to taste for tartness or sweetness. 

[bonecrow5-blog]

Look thanks for the recipe and all but the fact that you said you used canned lemonade makes me want to exfoliate my inner flesh.

If that lemonade isn't made from pure lemons, water, sugar, sweat, blood, and tears of a child trying to make a buck fifty on a june afternoon then it's no lemonade of mine.

[atouchhereandthere]

a terrifying chair that i would never sit in

[keezree]

I want my ass in this immediately

[pileofknives]

You: rolling around in office chair

Me: hanging from the ceiling waiting for prey to walk under me

[bonecrow5-blog]

Realistically speaking: This chair wields to much power. imagine seeing someone in that, coming at you at 70 mph. Not even the police would try to stop them. They'd be busy cleaning the shit they've just expelled, while i dash by them in said chair and spit at them, the french bastards.

[bonecrow5-blog]

Can we PLEASE just stop pretending Arbys is real, it’s not! I’ve wiped it from the simulation! Move on! NO YOU DIDN’T KNOW ANYONE WHO WORKED THERE, THEY DON’T EXIST

[arbys-offical]

Hey I’m pretty sure I’m real

[bonecrow5-blog]

You can’t fool me. If you’re real then where are you hiding the meat? I don’t mean the stuff you microwave, i mean the REAL meat

[arbys-offical]

In a wheelbarrow behind the store

[bonecrow5-blog]

Nice try satan, trying to get me to go to the back of an "Arbys". I'd rather go the the back of a Dennys, and there's nothing but pain and misery back there.

[bonecrow5-blog]

Can we PLEASE just stop pretending Arbys is real, it’s not! I’ve wiped it from the simulation! Move on! NO YOU DIDN’T KNOW ANYONE WHO WORKED THERE, THEY DON’T EXIST

[arbys-offical]

Hey I’m pretty sure I’m real

[bonecrow5-blog]

You can't fool me. If you're real then where are you hiding the meat? I don't mean the stuff you microwave, i mean the REAL meat