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trying on a metaphor
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
macklin celebrini has autism

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One Nice Bug Per Day
occasionally subtle
hello vonnie

Product Placement

Kiana Khansmith
Jules of Nature
noise dept.

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izzy's playlists!

Kaledo Art
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@borisuuu
Pokémon Masters »» Protagonists + Rivals Part 1/?
I have to work h a r d e r I have to get a lot f a s t e r
this site definitely doesn't allow you to paste the link to any article blocked by a paywall (say, a NYT article) so that you can read it free of charge! that would be illegal and would benefit broke college students too much. it definitely does not do that. promise.
Pup interrupts soccer match, gives interview.
The commentator narrating the pup’s moves with the ball is AMAZING and I’m crying
“(…) right, but he decides to kick the ball. He gets close, and who grabs it? The Friend(dog)! Yes! A pup got into the field. He’s tied to it. He puts it under his paws and shows what football was missing in the Gasometro (field’s name). The [team]’s men want to grab him, but they cant! The Friend has his eyes on the ball. He runs to find it again. Yes! He bites! He kneads! He wants it close! He gets lost, he’s so happy! Castro (player) wants to kick his Corner but he can’t. He tells the pup “enough, enough, go over there”… however *commentator laughs*, there’s the pup! When he puts it on the floor, [the dog] goes again for the ball. And of course, as any skilled man, wants it all for himself. A bit of an over-eater, this pup. And he clearly has shown conditions / talent. [The team] found the way to the goal thanks to the Pichicho’s (little dog) essential input…. who, of course, as any protagonist had his place at [the tv show].“
*camera switches to interview where dog barks and mounches on the reporter’s mic (who allows him do it)*
I’ve been watching Argentinean football all my life and I can confirm this is the best to ever happen on a match.
THANK YOU FOR TRANSLATING IT😭😭🖤
On one hand, I am loathe to spend money on something as fleeting and useless as a tumblr post. On the other hand, I want to make everyone look at this picture of my cat:
This is New Zealand’s national soap opera and an episode just ended with the greatest cliffhanger of all time
OH MY GOD
In the next episode we find out it isn’t his penis
Who’s penis is it???
This news and more at 8:00 pst
being an older sibling is like. you've never known a life without me. mom yelled at me and it taught her she never wanted to yell at you. I painted my room purple and grey and then you did too. we live in the same house but I haven't spoken to you in months. I don't know your favorite color. I saw it was going to rain so I picked you up from school on my way home so your books wouldn't get wet. i was so worried when you woke up sick when you were three. you don't remember being sick. mom and dad made their worst mistakes with me and I'm glad they didn't make them with you. I'm doing everything for the first time so you won't be in the dark. I don't know any of your friend's names anymore. I used to know them all. if something happens to mom and dad you won't have to worry because everything will fall to me. you don't like to be home alone but even if you don't see me just knowing I'm there makes you feel better. at least that's what mom told me. you still give me jars to open for you because you can't quite get them. I only see you during dinner. i'd never even think about missing one of your concerts. I stand at the counter when I eat and now you do, too. when offered a selection of books you picked the same one I did when i was your age. I'm terrified you compare yourself to me. I love you. I don't know if you like me. I want you to. mom says dinner's ready
Being the younger sibling is like: the book you gifted me with the first money you earned is my favorite book. You haven't lived with us in 10 years but the vacant room is still your room. I think of you when mom makes your favorite food. You've said bad things to me that I'll never forget. I love you unconditionally. I resent you for moving out and leaving me to deal with mom's fury. I would never hold that against you. You don't know how much I look up to you. I wish you thought I was your friend. I'm terrified to disappoint you. I sleep with your blanket. Please think of me. Mom wants you to call her.
This is… the exact opposite of that dark souls gif
I don’t think it’s possible to adequately state how fucking ballsy and skilled this player is considering the EXTREMELY specific timing of that dodge and catching the spear attack WHILE TAUNTING BETWEEN EACH THROW
I’m wheezing
Big Dick Energy
I figured they were referring to this gif
Since they do the same pose and it really seems like the opposite outcome lol
Ah yes. Shroom.
girls I know this isn’t at the top of the concerns list but you’re gonna want to stop eating commercially produced meat real soon
@najaside not a dumb question! I’m going to answer here instead of the replies bc it’s a pretty common one & there’s lots to say.
USDA regulations are not the same for large commercial producers as they are for small producers. there is this precedent that a big certified facility will stay sanitary and adequate better than a small facility, on top of huge companies having the money to get away with awful safety lapses - for example, with the recent boar’s head recall, the USDA was aware of extreme violations of sanitation requirements for a year before the listeria outbreak, did not punish them then, and despite people dying from the listeria outbreak, still have not penalized them at all. https://arstechnica.com/science/2024/08/blood-puddles-mold-tainted-meat-bugs-boars-head-inspections-are-horrifying/
The USDA recorded 69 violations in a year. So far, 9 people have died in the outbreak.
all that is to say - local meat is more likely to be safe. feedlots are notorious disease vectors, on top of these huge companies cutting corners as much as possible at the cost of consumer safety. finding local butchers, homesteaders, etc. to buy from is invaluable! you can do a simple google search, join local farmer / homesteader groups, go to farmers’ markets, etc. nothing is zero risk, and this isn’t me saying no local producer will ever cut corners or do risky practices, but they are at MUCH higher risk of their entire livelihood being lost if they fail to keep up with safety and health standards than large companies (as you can see, they just… keep doing what they’re doing, whereas a local producer would have their entire reputation destroyed and operation penalized or shut down). many farms also allow tours, have events for you to visit them, etc. so you can get an idea of how they operate and build relationships with producers directly.
and, otherwise: don’t use anything pre cooked, because then you won’t be cooking it to kill the bacteria. all FDA recalls with reasoning can be found here, and the list is always updated to date. https://www.fda.gov/safety/recalls-market-withdrawals-safety-alerts
FDA and industry press releases regarding product recalls
addendum: this unfortunately also applies to produce. buy local, visit farmers markets, apply for SNAP/EBT and see if they have farmers’ market “double your money” programs. look into community supported agriculture, AKA basically a local food subscription box, check for co-ops and other local shops that supply local goods and list where products are from.
Wanted to add:
Do not fucking drink raw milk. I know a lot of smaller farmers will sell it but look at me, DO NOT FUCKING DRINK RAW MILK. There are NO health benefits to this, anyone claiming there are is, regardless of intention, spreading pseudoscience wellness culture bullshit. Raw milk is not safe and will get you VERY sick, especially with the current H5N1 outbreak, you should be avoiding unpasteurized milk at all costs. Pasteurization does not do anything/add anything to milk that makes it bad for you, it's legit just heating to a high temperature up for a couple of seconds to kill germs or viruses or bacteria, which I cannot stress enough, is a good thing that has saved millions of lives. For the love of god, avoid raw milk.
Cook your eggs all the way through. This hurts, believe me it hurts I fucking love runny eggs, but between the likely relax in food safety regulations and the unknowns around H5N1 consuming under-cooked eggs turning into a huge risk.
Wash your veggies!! I always see people say produce can't cause food-borne illnesses but that's not true, and rn it's gonna be a really fucking good idea to properly clean produce, EVEN if it comes from a local small farm.
This is also a great time to familiarize yourself with food safety rules and how to prepare meat, fish, eggs, and even vegetables in a way that kills anything harmful that might be lingering in or on them. Wash your veggies. Cook chicken and pork and fish to the correct temperature. I would honestly probably avoid rare steak, and don't do burgers rare either. Learn the signs of botulism contamination as well. Don't get so panicked that you never eat anything but most people are not taught how to safely prepare food unless they end up working in a professional kitchen and rn it's gonna be important for you to know this shit.
I don't think telling people they have to avoid pre-cooked food is helpful given how many poor, elderly, and disabled people rely on that stuff. The best bet if you're worried about it is to keep an eye on recall lists and make sure you cook anything frozen or pre-packaged correctly, or even cook it extra or again if you want. Like don't just re-heat the jarred pasta sauce, heat it to a temperature that will kill anything lingering in there, habits like that can help a lot especially if you know the correct temperatures needed to make the food safe. If you can cook and have disabled friends or family who can't, offer to help. Batch cook stuff that can be frozen, offer to take them to farmer's markets or the store, keep an eye on that recall list and notify them or even help them go through their food and throw out things. All of this takes time and energy and resources a lot of poor, elderly, and disabled people just don't have. So if you can help them, help them.
Also while yes local farms are less likely to be completely fucking evil, they are not immune to bad habits and disease and outright idiocy. Right now we are dealing with a truly MASSIVE bird flu(H5N1) outbreak in chickens and cows as well as wild birds and a lot of other mammals, and that includes livestock on small farms. The first H5N1 infections found in pigs were on a backyard farm that let it's livestock mingle and share water/feed. And again, local farmers will absolutely sell raw milk and swear up and down that it's fine and healthy and not a problem at all. You cannot just blindly trust small/local farms to protect you, you must back it up with proper food safety and common sense. Also if you're going to a farmer's market or to tour a small farm you should mask, frequently wash your hands, and avoid touching any animals you don't know 100% for sure aren't sick. I don't think H5N1 is going to go H2H but every new infection increases the risk of mutation and you need to be aware of it.
On the subject of H5N1, start paying attention to it. The Biden Administration is dropping the ball on this shit so hard it's genuinely scary, and I know for a fact if it does go H2H Trump will not handle it at all. Covid was the warm up, we do NOT want to see a bird flu pandemic in humans, especially with Trump in charge.
Buy and wear masks, learn the signs of illness in wild animals and honestly unless you really know what you're doing you should probably avoid touching wild animals at all right now, especially wild birds. If you go to a farm or farmer's market or fair mask up, wash your hands, and avoid direct contact with animals if you can. Also bring your fucking cats inside, bird flu is lethal in cats and they will drag it into your house and probably get you sick too, and again, that's one more chance for H5N1 to mutate. And if you won't by god at least get your pets vaccinated, there are low-cost clinics and I think even PetSmart will do them for cheap, it's important for not just us but our pets as well to avoid catching and spreading preventable illnesses.
Disabled people have been screaming for years now about public health being completely destroyed and covid has done irreparable damage to the way we as a society see health and safety, even amongst leftists and progressives, which is very fucking bad. Learn to protect yourself and others, please, it's on us now.
don't hide firefox propaganda in the tags!! brb installing this rn
(courtesy of gay-victorian-astronomer)
I need this in my life can’t wait to install
WAIT WHAT
How do I do this?
it's this
For future reference.
Thank you.
For those who would ever need it. -C
reblogging here because i can see this being relevant to anyone who’s ever tried to get out of an abusive relationship
Reblogging because that last comment made me reread the whole thing in a new light and realize this could be vital information. So, putting it out there for everyone, and hoping no one ever really needs it.
"You need to break the time loop. Stop trying to save me. I love you."
[This message has been played 18446744073709551615 times. Would you like to hear it again?]
20th Century Marriage Discussion…
Some guy in an avengers Tshirt I just met at a coffee shop: so who's your favorite superhero?
Me too exhausted to explain there's more than one Robin: Batman
Guy: oh! Did you watch the Joker movie? It was surprisingly good for a DC film haha
Me: yeah it was something
Guy: you know they really fucked up on Justice League, but I've got to say Wonder Woman was better than Captain Marvel. Like, we get it, "yay girl power." That's great but it was so over the top. It totally ostracized half of it's audience.
Me: wow really
Guy: yeah. You know, you seem pretty chill. Maybe we could hang out sometime and watch some decent superhero movies? You know, Marvel movies haha
Me: i never asked, who's your favorite hero?
Guy: Iron Man. Like Batman but richer and cooler haha
Me: you know, Batman's rule? No killing?
Guy: yeah?
Me: i have no such rule. Lindsey, I found another one. My usual, please
Lindsey, the barista: *hands me my sword*
Guy: wow that's a poor replica of the God Killer blade, it should have more- *beheaded*
Me: thank god that's over
Lindsey: yeah. Hey want to watch Birds of Prey with me sometime?
Me: oh? You mean like as... a date?
Her: well yeah... is that okay?
Me: of course it's okay! all this time, all these years, i never knew you felt that way
Her: i don't keep a replica of Wonder Woman's sword under the counter for just anyone
Me: i never thought about it that way
Her: *writes her number on the forehead of dead guy* text me ;)
This is gaining notes faster than I thought so either we all know the same annoying guy or this is just what y'all think romance is
It's been several years and I have a fiancee now and I'm begging y'all to stop circulating this post because she's on here and I CANNOT have her seeing this and finding my Tumblr account please she's so butch and cooler than me stop outing me as a dweeb 😭🙏
OP, if she's agreed to marry you already, seeing this post is just gonna get you laid
and even if not, she is also at the devil's sacrament, so