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home is far away...

It’s been a year since I had feelings of excitement running through my mind. A year since I was anticipating moving into a new house, a new city with new experiences waiting for me. It’s hard to believe that a year ago I ran into some people at a house hunting session and instantly found a new group of friends. We lost some people on the way, mainly because we scared them off during our skype sessions, sessions that lasted hours. It was weird to me that within a day of knowing each other we were already video calling each other, making plans for when we moved into what we had deemed the ‘sesh house’.

When we finally moved into our ‘sesh house’ the university culture kicked in. Sleeping during the day and drinking during the night, we were nocturnal for the first month. Freshers allowed us to drink without feeling guilty. The lack of guilt continues throughout the year, allowing us to miss lectures and start assignments three days before the deadline. All-nighters and energy drinks became part of our daily itinerary, monster cans littered across our kitchen alongside Frandzo’s pizza boxes. When they say students are messy, they are not lying.

Come November the honeymoon period has ended, this is when you’ll start to notice little things about some housemates that you may not like. You won’t have noticed it before, because quite frankly you would have been drunk for the majority of September and October. Although drama and tension may be rising, sooner or later it will vanish (or you’ll learn to live with it). December comes and you’re working to deadlines, you’ve settled into your new flat completely and waking up in your new bed doesn’t feel odd anymore. Suddenly you’re calling University your home and when you go back to your actual home you feel a veil of discontent. As if all that independence you’ve just built has been knocked down, reduced to rubble. Even the little things such as making your own dinner seem to be reduced to nothing. Things that are considered an achievement at University are suddenly not achievements anymore.

Jump to January and you’ve got even more deadlines, some of which you’re only just beginning to start. You start pushing the limits, seeing how long you can leave it before you can start assignments. There are reading weeks in which no reading is done, weekends going home because you need a break from your housemates. Nights out where you’ve finally sussed out that you have to have pre-drinks until midnight in order to spend as little money as possible. Pre-drinks where you get a little too drunk, forgetting ID’s and people falling over. Selfies that are going to be discovered in the morning. At the end of the night, you’ll walk yourself home, sweating, feet aching, only to trip over your own two feet. But you’ll get straight back up again because the alcohol hasn’t really worn off and you laugh it off.

Then the serious stuff begins, the end of year assignments, exams, figuring out what you’re going to do for the second year. You scramble to pull yourself together and you manage too. All the work you’ve done over the past year comes down to this moment. Will you get into the second year? But before that houses and deposits, friendships and summer romances. More alcohol and more nights out. Trying to find a way to fund your drinking habits.

All of this happens and you forget what life was like before. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to wake up to two dogs barking at me. What it feels like to sit in a classroom, following the rules of the sixth form. There are no teachers, only lecturers and they will not chase you about your work. The independence that you achieve in your first year of university is the culture shock that everybody needs. I know how to clean properly, bleach has become a best friend. I try to manage my time responsibly (even if I don’t succeed), I have dealt with “adult” things whilst feeling like a child. The safety blanket of home is no longer there and your new home constantly challenges you.

Although all of this happens, University is still one of the best things that have happened to me. Meeting new people, having new experiences and discovering a new start. Second year is on the horizon, and I know it's going to be a great year.

#university #college #back to school #opinion piece #personal experience #journalism #first year #second year #party #pizza #advice #writing

helios.

Anyone who comes too close always gets hurt, that’s why Icarus never had a chance. His eagerness and his youthfulness made him blissfully unaware of the dangers that lurked with his ambition. The wax started to drip, skin started to burn, a body started to fall. I saw the sweat dripping down his forehead, sliding down his nose and burying itself under his chin; as if it knew what was happening and it was fleeing. Running from the heat, from the possibility that it might evaporate and become nothingness just like Icarus.

He never thought of me much, never greeted me, never appreciated what I did for him and his family. I was unnoticed, just another one of those people. Just another labourer of the Earth. Just there, sometimes hidden, but always providing. Icarus always knew I behind him, he wasn’t oblivious, he just chosenot to care, he chose not to think about his fate. Although Icarus didn’t pay attention, he always knew I was there. In the back of his head I was there during the day, I guided the way for him. And he understood that.

Icarus never looked back, he knew what he was doing, where he was going. He’d accepted his fate. He was supposed to follow Daedalus, he was supposed to obey his orders. But instead the heat stretched from my palms and fell to his, melting his wings, slowly scalding each feather until they were nothing but ash. Icarus’s father was a wise man, he thought of the plan, he crafted the wings. Daedalus was the mastermind of this plan. Then Icarus ruined it, he had to rebel, be the odd one out. Nobody knew Icarus like I did, nobody had looked at him and saw what I did. I saw his shadows, his cynicism. It was between Icarus and I, his secrets were mine. He didn’t know this though. His oblivion continued until his death.

Icarus will never know about his legacy; he will never know how much his father contributed to the sea that swallowed him whole. He’ll never understand that the tears his father shed were of disappointment and anger, as well as sadness. Icarus won’t understand that the Icarian sea is not named in his honour, rather in spite. Daedulas named it so people remembered Icarus’s foolishness. It’s there as a caution, reminding people to listen, to use their heads and not to stray.

Icarus hasn’t just ruined his reputation, he’s also ruined mine. I will forever be remembered as the one who scorched Icarus. The one who has to live with what they’ve done; watching over the Icarian sea, day in, day out, until I burn out.

#writings #uni #helios #icarus #mythology #based on #story #creative writing #fire #heat #daedalus

back 2 front

#inverting #photography #colourful #fun #weird #strange #light photography #light work #glow sticks #torch

|| all the other colours are just colours, but purple seems to have soul ||

#light photography #mine #a level #photography #cool #purple #mood #teen #light #reflection #cute #weird #wacky

Best Songs From Teen Movies

At precisely 18:53, I read an article labelled “the best songs from teen movies” that was published on the guardian and at 18:55 I realised it was an awful article, essentially taking the most well-known songs from “teen” movies and putting them on a list. So I decided to make my own list:

20. ICE PRINCESS:

|| No One - Aly & AjV ||

// The Wolves // my gcse final piece // all music rights belong to ben howard //

#music video #homemade #mine #work #GCSE media #student #2015 #ben howard

ripped into my childhood // digital exposure

#photography #dark room #childhood #inverted #sister #me #credit

create a world you want to live in

#light photography #photography #credit me #glow sticks #a level #cute #fun #hipster #light #colourful

Leaving Home

The thought of leaving doesn’t make me cry, it doesn’t make me sad, it doesn’t make me feel anything. Leaving my bed, my friends, my town; not knowing what is about to come, it has all left me blank. I’m not crying about the times we had, rather rejoicing in the fact we had them. These past two years have been tough and honestly, I deserve a fresh start, a three year holiday, a pub crawl. I deserve to have a good time and to not cling onto what has kept me in Romford and at Frances Bardsley for seven years.

Leaving home brings back memories. The one where we would splurge our parent’s money at the arcade when the cinema was the only thing we did. Now I’ll splurge my money on bills, alcohol, and travel. I’ll take control of my life and cut ties. Letting go of toxic people and finding friends. Shyly shuffling over to introduce myself as “Meg”, not “Brittany”, “Meggie”, “Meggle”, “Potter” or any name I’ve been christened with. Just Meg. And these people will have to just “Meg” and create new names, new meanings, create friendships.

Leaving home means saying goodbye to friends. Friends who have built me a lighthouse just so I can find my way, friends who have unleashed things that I didn’t want to hear, but needed to. Friends that have become more like family. It’s hard, but it’s not permanent. Friendships are like pets, they just need love and care, then they’ll be yours until the day you die. Friendships that have lasted through rainy days, through arguments, through illness and yes I am leaving it behind, and no I’m not upset. I’m content. I know I’ve had seven long years of friendship and now I get to go make some more bonds that could last that long. Sometimes all you need is a Vod to lead you a little astray, but bring you back to earth when needed.

Leaving home isn’t scary or sad or exciting, it’s exactly what it says. It’s just leaving.

#leaving home #university #college #friends #writing #feelings #journalism

yes Baby, B-A-B-Y

Edgar Wright has given us some of the best movies, Scott Pilgrim, Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead and he hasn’t disappointed us with his new creation Baby Driver. Baby Driver depicts a young man, who the audience know as Baby and the characters know as their getaway driver. As an audience member, we watch Baby develop as a character, which all movies should depict. As he opens up, the plotline unravels and also allows us to see the inside of Baby’s head more.

The movie itself gives a nod to the 80’s, with a possible link between the name of Baby in Baby Driver and Baby in Dirty Dancing, obviously relating to their age within the context of their films. Even the settings have a raffish charm to them, an old (what is presumably) a hotel, a post office, and an 80’s Diner. Alongside the setting, the characters present all the strength and wit of a typical heist movie, one of which we have not seen in a while. These characters captivate the audience and allow them to become part of the movie.

Edgar Wright is king of immersion when it comes to movies. The Cornetto trilogy that he directed and produced with Sean Pegg and Nick Frost, consists of fastidious shots, that put the audience right in the middle of the movie. Quick paced shots, piled with wholesome sound effects and movement sequences, put the audience in whatever scene Wright is producing; Whether it’s Simon Pegg making a cup of tea, or a Police duo moving weapons into an evidence locker, Edgar Wright always creates a welcoming and mesmerizing atmosphere when he makes a movie. In Baby Driver, these sorts of scenes are welcomed with a musical twist. The choreographed movement of all the characters, props and settings

In Baby Driver, these sorts of scenes are welcomed with a musical twist. The choreographed movement of all the characters, props and settings pair with the vibrant soundtrack (which you should all check out), to create that retro, throwback aura that Baby Driver is all about. Ansel Elgort’s history of dancing and DJing allow him to really embrace the role of Baby. It allowed him to create a personal relationship between him and the audience, as he doesn’t have much dialogue throughout the film. But his commitment and characterisation allow the audience to know exactly what he is thinking, even when he says nothing.

All I can do is encourage you to watch Baby Driver, as well as congratulate Edgar Wright and the whole team who worked on it for creating a beautiful and exhilarating movie. Edgar Wright, you produced yet ANOTHER amazingly immersive movie and for that I thank you.

#ansel elgort #baby driver #baby #jamie foxx #kevin spacey #movie #review #watch it #edgar wright #adorable #new #amazing #cinematography #directors

Orange is Definitely the New Black

****CONTAINS SPOILERS***

If you have been following the Netflix original series, Orange is the New Black since series one, you'll understand that the past few series have been rough. Although in the past two series have had some amazing plot lines, personally I have felt disconnected from the series. Maybe it's because of Piper's personal journey, I feel she became very narcissistic and almost whiney in the past seasons. But that's not the point. The point is, OITNB has returned and it's strong.

The characters have come back with new attitudes, we see the rage of the aftermath of Poussey Washington's death and we see strong women struggling to achieve their human rights. It's exhilarating. The cliffhanger was finally elaborated upon after a year of waiting and it was more than good. It had me hanging on every word said, caring about each character development and each line. Which I feel like was lost in the last few series. I believe this is because of the numerous flashback stories that would take place, often making me lose interest. Don't get me wrong these flashbacks were interesting I just feel there were too many of them. This time round there aren't as many, which helped me to connect to the present story more.

Another thing OITNB did perfectly was the introduction of new characters. The main "family" had less screen time, allowing us to really explore the prison for what it is now. It showed us what we were yet to see. Solidifying certain stereotypes, but also showing the strength and struggles of characters we hadn't really explored and we didn't know.

The human portrayal of the extremist characters such as the Nazis and White Supremacist, showed the real side to white terrorism, which the news has yet to give us. It shows that people commit crimes, not animals, not monsters, people. Its kept very relevant with the concept of terrorism floating around the air. Which is something that is accidentally extremely relevant, as terrorist attacks have been happening a lot recently. The introduction of a Muslim character also shows the integration that the prison is going through and throws out, even more, social commentary about oppression. Oppression plays a big part in the series, women, race, and religion are all explored through stereotypes.

This series of OITNB honestly had me crying, laughing and shocked all the way through. I was hooked, I highly recommend it.