Your wife desires me carnally

and I breach her nightly

[becherdireinen]

dating to marry? i’m dating to bind our souls together eternally so we'll find each other lifetime after lifetime without an end.

[larval-tear]

🟨

anerican choese

[hajima-7]

as the snake sheds her skin 🐍🩸

c0mm i did of Dafni and Eirini, from M G Katsibouri's upcoming book!

[oak23]

Burden bearing hips

[naidje]

They should make Carrie White a fat trans girl in the new show

[naidje]

She asks to play volleyball with the girls team. They start a harassment campaign against her. Her mom's a rabid gender critical radfem mumsnetter terf. At the prom she sets a gymnasium full of transmisogynists on fire with her mind. You get it.

[alexaloraetheris]

Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.

So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.

[alexaloraetheris]

Task failed abysmally, I'm having a threesome on Tuesday. My job is to look pretty and hand over the props.

[alexaloraetheris]

That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.

[alexaloraetheris]

Please stop reblogging this, if it ends up on Tiktok some teenybopper is gonna call me bad ace representation.

[only-knives]

harm reduction saves lives.

it's a good thing when someone shoots up with a clean needle.

it's a good thing when someone carries Narcan, whether they use drugs themselves or not.

it's a good thing when someone switches from using laced drugs to clean drugs.

it's a good thing when someone starts using only one drug at a time.

it's a good thing when someone goes on medication assisted treatment like suboxone, methadone, or amphetamines.

it's a good thing when someone reduces their spending on substances, or the frequency of their drug use.

it's a good thing when someone gets regular tests for STIs.

it's a good thing when someone is using with friends instead of using alone.

people who use drugs don't have to be abstinent to take better care of ourselves. any positive change we make around our substance use should be encouraged and accepted, never stigmatized or dismissed!

[44prop]

one normal day in british politics that’s all i ask for . will never happen

[visenyaism]

Honestly fuck AI for making me have to go on and on defending the dignity of toil like I’m some kind of protestant

[pearlo]

there’s very few things that drive me up the wall in fandom as much as this weird new assumption that fandom is primarily a space for younger people that older folks are only accepted into in a trial basis if they promise to centralize and accommodate younger fans, and further, anything else is creepy and predatory. IT’S OKAY FOR ADULTS TO PRODUCE CONTENT FOR OTHER ADULTS.

[deputychairman]

if I have to read “women in their 30s” used as an insult one more time I swear I’ll - step away from that user and just hang out with the other grownups who consistently create good content because I’m also an adult and too busy comparing car insurance to fight with teenagers on the internet, but goddAMMIT I’ll be annoyed

[teaboot]

I’ve been in this hole since yall lil shits were three apples tall and I’ll die in this hole too

[maviyenot]

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

*Columbo voice* So you were reading posts on Tumblr? Oh, that's a great website. My wife has an account on there. She showed me one about the color of the sky? Funny stuff. Although there is one thing, sir. How could you have been reading a post when no one on Tumblr has any media literacy?

[chrownox]

oh yes, i remember now. i was reading my own post i had just written. i'm a stickler for the details you know. here you can even see the time stamp indicating the moment of posting. clearly i was busy elsewhere when the murder happened now if you'll excuse me, there's a callout post i've been meaning to tend to

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

That explains it, sir. You know, at the station they always tell me I sweat the little stuff too much. But that must be how you have... what is it, sir? 500 followers? Very impressive. Well, I'll get out of your hair. Wouldn't want to get in the way of social justice. Oh, there is one more thing. There's this tag on the bottom of your post. Is that what you call those? Tags? I wonder where you get a name like that. Anyway, I didn't understand it. It says "queue be continued". I hope I pronounced that right. What does that mean, sir?

[ladycreep-deactivated20201127]

[talkshows-deactivated20150818]

the anniversary of library paste man’s death is in four days.

[basketghost]

One hundred and ten years ago to the day. Amazing. Incredible.

[1dietcokeinacan]

RIP😔🙏📚🍯

[wolfythewitch]

Do you guys wanna see the version of bloodymary im somewhat invested in

[wolfythewitch]

Imagine you float up from near death and some old guy is poking you in the face and humming

[wolfythewitch]

Okay wait one more

[tetrameryxx]

Fursonas are too hard to decide; it's time for radish plantsona.

[pantomimevampire]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[pennamenotfound]

I am the target audience of this sign. I frequently do not read signs because I don’t notice them and i one hundred percent would be strolling up to the booth going ‘what kind of cheese is this?’

[maimonideznuts]

At least it's 100% understandable here. What is still confusing to me is being in LUSH and there was a big bite taken out of one of the soaps, not even teeth marks, just a king size chomp all the way through.

This is LUSH, where they sell soap. Even if they sold cheese, would you just take a monster bite out of it? It still gives me confusion years later.

[pennamenotfound]

I want to live in the soap biter’s world where 1) lush sells cheese and 2) it is perfectly acceptable to sample the wares

[maimonideznuts]

What is a couple of grapes in the grand scheme of the universe? What is cramming an entire round of Brie into my gob as I glide past the cheese? Surely this is normal behaviour,