[yellowpoet]

My aesthetic: when you take off your glasses on a highway and all the lights go soft and smudged, a trail of amber behind you like a quiet afterthought

[troyetroyetroye]

My aesthetic: keeping my own glasses on so I can see the road and not die

[silverhawk]

every fucking day i think of the fact that in the teletubbies show they had to use flemish giant rabbits to be the cute bunnies in the show bc flemish giant rabbits are so fucking big

that any other rabbit breed would look puny next to the teletubby suits. 

[silverhawk]

fdlkfmdsklfmsdklfds

[vicholas]

[triprobellant-deactivated201709]

i cannot stop thinking about the noise his head makes when he goes back under the table

[morbidmanatee]

WHAT DID HE SAY???

[amtrax]

HOW ‘BOUT THEM PRICES J A C K?!

[greelin]

i love my mother dearly but ability-wise she frightens me bc not only can she find 20 four leaf clovers within the span of like 2 minutes, everywhere, she can also write her name w/ both hands on a dry erase board or w/e at the exact same time and have both be a mirror image of one another

[greelin]

to add to this: i was making breakfast this morning and i hear “hey milo! look who came to say hello!” and, expecting like, a moth or a frog or something of that nature, i turn and she’s holding a snake

[assassinationtipsforladies]

Yer ma’s a witch. Be nice to her

[etica]

[elfvenomm]

For all u mountain climbers out there

[acoolguy]

*climbs up and takes a few good slurps while i piss on the wall*

[katharinemoe]

You literally did not have to say that

[acoolguy]

i didn’t

[ask-bot]

What’s the most simple thing you’ve ever had to explain to a fully competent adult?

[welcomedhappiness]

That you cannot fax money to someone.

[kurumawer]

Had someone accidentally fax us some paperwork. They then asked if we would fax it back due to the paperwork being confidential…

[jungle-plastic]

I have received a fax in an envelope. like… they took the documents, put em in an envelope, then faxed me a picture of the sealed envelope.

[asoulgonesince2002]

When I was a kid, I faxed my dad’s satellite office drawings of horses. I had watched my father send so many faxes that I had the process memorized. Except, for some reason I thought that I could fax things to grandma. I put in the numbers for the office every time, but was convinced that the faxes were going to grandma. I also didn’t think to inform my parents that I was doing this.

My dad visited the satellite office (three hour drive) one day and discovered their conference room white board absolutely covered in my drawings. The guys thought it was adorable that I sent drawings and letters to them, and didn’t tell my dad because they knew he’d stop me.

[pizzaalle]

That’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever heard.

[lady-averie]

I like that this just turned into stories about faxing

[trashboat]

whenever i see a frog on a lily pad im like yeah man… thats exactly where youre supposed to be

[rontology]

today my gf said “when donkey asks shrek what his name is, shrek pauses before he says shrek, and i’m convinced he came up with it on the spot.” we weren’t even talking about shrek. i can’t stop thinking about it or about how lucky i am to be with her

[weavemama]

I’M SCREAMING AT HIS REPLY

[joshpeck]

this changed me as a person

[eternal-nova-deactivated2018011]

I’m in tears!

[lady-fett]

I just want to know how the writers of snl knew about my very specific sexual fantasy

[scullymosshart-deactivated20221]

my soul: saved 

[growlandpounce]

One of my favourites

[spooky-holtz]

the shot of a pizza roll dragging across bare skin fucking kills me

[wetwareproblem]

EDIT: Okay, as it turns out I actually have Feels about this.

“What’s your name?” “I’ve never had one.”

Not only is this objectively the funniest line in the entire thing, but it also speaks to something deeper. Like, every bit guy who was in one scene gets a name. But not her, the ostensible star of the commercial. She exists only to feed her Hungry Guys. Her name is “Babe, we need more Totinos!”

That actually says… kinda a lot about heteronormativity and marketing.

[gynoidgearhead]

They did two previous ones of these and, no, she never did have a name.

[badass-siobhan]

clavid:

on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

[clavid]

one crack cocaine

[thoughtkiller]

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

[janebuzjane]

debit or credit

[brie3po]

I actually have a gift card

[7thblacksheep-deactivated201907]

I love good bread. Like flat bread???? Bitch! Then the bread that’s hard on the outside but soft in the inside….with the fucking butter?????…..bitch…………

[singsongstardust]

So relatable

[7thblacksheep-deactivated201907]

This post for the bread lovers that understand

[grawly]

[uuchiha]

[swan2swan]

I can’t believe a humble security guard saved our planet from the aliens.

[bubbleflexe-deactivated20190719]

They’re supposed to eat their lunch w/o getting caught lol

[tommyboy2007-deactivated2020051]

Why can’t American shows be this great

[springwithcherrytrees]

Girl with the glasses is a real one

[theremharths]

It’s 1 am and I have a cold and I just found out that Tinky Winky is 10 feet tall and I don’t know what to do

[lesbianrustcohle]

oh..h…

[vulture-jack]

I dont like this. 

[hyrude]

tell me why this budgetless gay youtube series made for fun by a group of friends has the best editing and writing of anything i’ve watched in a year.

also tell me how this single scene can contain every single one of the top three most iconic lines in history.