cherry valley forever
Monterey Bay Aquarium
occasionally subtle
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor
PR's Tumblrdome
roma★
YOU ARE THE REASON
todays bird
Keni
ellievsbear
noise dept.
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
dirt enthusiast
Product Placement
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Stranger Things
Game of Thrones Daily
will byers stan first human second
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@breadloaf77
when a pelican bites you there's no malice in their eyes. they aren't upset at you. they are just hungry and want to see if you fit in their mouths. and if you don't then it's no problem and everything is fine. and if you do then well i guess your fate is sealed but that's ok it's a beautiful animal
hey jsyk while hellofresh is dummy expensive and i wouldn’t reccomend it if you already know how to cook (if you’re a beginner like i was when i had it for 3 months, then it’s worth it), you should know that ALL OF THEIR RECIPES are free on their website and they all fuck hard
i will say that all the cooking instructions for veggies are pretty much the same (season with salt + pepper and roast on the top oven rack at 425F), but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
that being said, it also introduced me to methods i wasn’t at all expecting. i would have never thought to use cream cheese in my meat sauce, and now all my friends are constantly asking me to make my special rigatoni.
happy cheffin! :)
I am a person who uses Hello Fresh for realsies because it is a bit cheaper than groceries here and definitely cheaper than takeout, but we also remake the recipes when we want a specific one and don't want to wait for it to come around in the rotation again, and therefore I know The Secret Translations of Proprietary Ingredients:
"Cream sauce base" = make a roux, add milk according to how much cream sauce base you're supposed to have (ex: 4 oz cream sauce base = 4 oz milk)
"1 packet stock concentrate" = either one tablespoon Better than Bullion or, if you want to be really accurate, Savory Choice Broth Concentrate packets are available on Amazon and allegedly that's what they use
"Italian Heat Spice"/"Blackening Spice"/"Fry Seasoning"/etc.: I promise you someone on Reddit has figured out what spices they use and in what proportions for each mix, if it's not just a straight up branded mix (like McCormick Grill Mates Brown Sugar Bourbon spice mix)
"Roasted Garlic Herb Butter" (and other compound butters, like truffle butter) = they're literally Epicurean branded butters, they do not hide this, you can buy them online
"Sweet Soy Glaze"/"Ponzu sauce"/"Hoisin sauce" = literally Kikkoman brand condiments: they don't hide that, either
"Sweet Thai chili sauce" = any sweet Thai chili sauce from the grocery store will do. We use Blue Dragon or Taste of Thai because that's what we can get in our grocery store.
One time I was DMing a campaign where the players walked into that tavern every campaign has and one of the patrons was a Mindflayer wearing a very bad human disguise who insisted his name was Johnald Humanman. And they were just like "Oh, okay. Well, that's his business" and didn't interact with Johnald Humanman at all.
I planned for a lot of eventualities but I never planned for a D&D party being polite
*walks by 7/11*
blacksmith hammering a taquito: got some good pieces out here if you’re looking to buy, more inside!
thank you @puyopuyo for these tags
That face cats have when they’re very young and they look like they just woke up from a four hour nap,, yeah
This one
im watching planet earth and theres this one small scene where the most round seal ever swims past and id just like to thank david attenborough for bringing us this good good orb seal
ok so i did some seal research tm and it turns out these are the baikal seals and they can only be found in the freshwater lake baikal. i love them
they’re also known as “nerpas”
Always something with this fuckin lake
made a niche meme for @megan-mayhem in the groupchat but maybe some of my followers will also enjoy it (with apologies to matt bors)
#the number of times i have seen A Cute Object#only to turn it around and there's a WORD on it#for NO REASON
I saw an interesting video about Rae Dunn by Swell Entertainment, if that is relevant to your interests. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REElEEJZncI&ab_channel=SwellEntertainment
the comments
This feels relevant
CD projekt red: Geralt dresses like a normal person
Netflix: fuck it he's goth now
In the games, Geralt mostly wears brown due to his leather armor, as well as a smattering of red and blue in some of the textiles, like gambeson, shirts, robes, scarves, etc. These are normal medieval colors and would be accessible to the common person.
But in Netflix adaptation, he wears black and ONLY black, which is crazy because, black was actually considered a luxury dye in the middle ages because of how complicated the dying process was. And even then, you wouldnt get a true black; it was going to be blue/black, red/black, or yellow/black. It wasn't until the 17th century that true jet black was possible with the introduction of logwood from Central America.
But Geralt's clothing and armor in the Netflix adaptation IS a true black. And these aren't even clothes for any special occasion?? It's just his normal day to day wear. Like can you even imagine??? This random guy walks into town wearing the most expensive textiles you've ever seen and then says he's going to go fight monsters in them?? What a damn flex.
Geralt who buys normal leather:
Geralt who only buys expensive Luxurious Black leather:
Alternate scenario, considering the amount of Unidentified Black Ichor spilled by various monsters throughout: Geralt: hey can you help me? this damn stain won't come out of my good leather armor A Textile Worker Who's About To Change Geralt's Whole Business Model: holy fucking shit dude
i raise you: this has been Known (tm) for a long time, that monster ichor is a good black dye, if you can afford it.
Witchers dress entirely in black as advertisement of their role as monster hunters, because for them, it is relatively easy to acquire.
if they have a chance, they will collect small amounts and sell it, but they tend not to bother unless they have new clothes or armor they need dyed, and then sell the rest to the person treating their clothes, which makes it still pretty rare/expensive for everyone else.
And that's why people always know Geralt's a witcher even before they get a close look at him, because he's in all black and that's basically the Witcher uniform.
Also I forgot to add: If they wear all black, with all that black ichor, they don't have to worry about looking super gross and unkempt bc of ichor stains.
Granted, they still can look gross and unkempt for other reasons, but it won't be bc of ichor stains they can't get out.
So is it just me, or does every new owner of Tumblr getting announced feel like we’re getting a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?
Kinda love how some works of fan fiction, to use the term loosely, were powerful enough to universally assign a name to a previously unnamed well known figure.
Some guy wrote a prequel to Wizard of Oz about the Wicked Witch of the West and he made up the name Elphaba as a combination of L. Frank Baum’s initials and now everyone just kinda agrees and understands that the Wicked Witch of the West is named Elphaba.
Some guy in the 17th century decided to write an epic poem about God and the devil and the Garden of Eden and was inspired by one rather discourse-provoking verse in Isaiah to name the soon-to-be devil “Lucifer” (“How art thou fallen from heaven, O lucifer, son of the morning”), and centuries later, if someone says “Lucifer,” we all know they mean the red scaly dude with horns. Whether or not the passage in the Bible metaphorically refers to the devil or literally refers to a wicked king of Babylon, it seems pretty clear that the use of the word “lucifer,” also translated as day-bringer, light-bringer, or morning star, is used to COMPARE someone to a bright star that has fallen, not literally address them by name. But I don’t blame Milton for thinking it has a pretty great ring to it as a name- it certainly does.
Anyway, what I’m getting at with all this is...... canonically the Lorax doesn’t have a name (I think the Lorax is more of a species or job title) and I think if we all try really hard, we could band together and convince generations to come that the Lorax’s real name is Danny DeTreeto.
the more time i spend on this site the love and affection i have for north american opossums goes up and up, like look at this
opossum Katamari
do insects have a maximum flying altitude?
the short answer? "yes, but it's much, MUCH higher than you think!"
the long answer? "there's a secret insect superhighway in the sky between roughly 15,000 and 20,000 feet that's absolutely FULL of flying insects of all types, who are using the wind currents at that altitude to travel thousands of miles and cross entire continents in one of the largest mass migrations on planet earth!"
there is more life above your head right now than you realize :)
So I’ve been playing a lot of skyrim lately, because it’s video game comfort food, and I decided it was time for my Redguard Dovahkiin to settle down. (Actually I specifically just wanted to be able to adopt some of the random orphans you meet because I felt guilty about them, but you need to be married before you can do that so that there’s someone at home to take care of the kids while you’re off galivanting).
So I travelled around a bit, chatting up likely looking npcs until I found one I both liked and didn’t feel guilty about marrying (I feel bad if I marry one of the warrior adventurer types, making them be a stay at home mum) and settled on an obnoxiously cheerful argonian called Shavee because her life was frankly shit, and I thought she’d probably be good with kids.
So off I go to Riften to the Temple of Mara to arrange the wedding. I book it in for the next day, realise I didn’t bring anything nice to wear, and spend the night before the wedding robbing every house in the city in the search for something to wear. Eventually decide everyone in Riften has terrible fashion sense and break down everything I stole into raw materials and use them to craft myself an outfit and some jewellery that i’m pretty happy with. I even carefully pick out my fanciest looking sword to wear.
(don’t know why I bothered, frankly, shavee turned up wearing a shirt covered in suspicious stains and weilding a pickaxe, it’s like she doesn’t even care about this marriage)
(also for comedy purposes, bear in mind I play with survival mods that mean my character needs to eat and sleep to live, and I literally spent the entire ingame night on this and forgot to eat and drink anything either and then just downed four bowls of wolf stew right before entering the temple so I didn’t starve during the ceremony. also I discovered during the wedding that I am dying of rockjoint, which I contracted from sleeping in a pile of hay on the floor of a skeever infested cave, so even being six foot tall and jacked can’t make up for the fact that I am exhausted, running a fever, and probably covered in wolf which I spilled because my joints are slowly atrophying, and even the fanciest clothes in the world aren’t going to cover that up)
so I enter the temple, and my finance is there, and Lydia my housecarl, and some random NPCs the game thinks are my friends because I did fetch quests for them
One of the random NPCs is Lisbet. Atfter I did her fetch quest, I then did another quest in which I discovered Lisbet is secretly a cannibal and part of a demonic cult that worships the daedric prince of decay by kidnapping priests, sacrificing them, and then eating their corpses. Raw. I think the raw meat is the sticking point for me here honestly.
I ultimately decided not to sacrifice the random priest to a daedric prince in exchange for one magic ring and all the raw human I could eat, because frankly, that doesn’t sound like much of a deal to me. I was expecting there to be some kind of dialogue choice where I could nope out at the last minute, but it turns out there isn’t one, so after they drugged the priest and tied him to the altar, I just got out my sword and started swinging.
I killed most of the cult (including the town butcher, because I had brought meat from him before and was extremely pissed off that he might have been secretly feeding me humans) but a couple of them got away, which I figured was fine because they weren’t trying to kill me.
Except it turns out, if any of them escape, then every time you see them in the future there’s a random chance that they’ll fly into a violent rage and try and murder you.
Lisbet is at my wedding. Lisbet decides that clearly me marrying this random argonian woman with two lines of dialogue is the happiest day of my life, and she cannot allow me that happiness, when I’ve taken so much from her.
So she tries to kill me. Only she can’t, because I’m stuck in a pre-rendered wedding animation, and also she’s sitting next to Lydia, my faithful retainer and owner of a really big axe.
It also turns out that Lisbet is essential, meaning she can be knocked unconcious but not actually killed because she’s needed for some quest or other. And the minute she wakes up from unconciousness, she tries to kill me again, so Lydia knocks her unconcious again, and I’m stuck, I can’t move, because I’m supposed to be in the wedding animation.
Except Shavee has, not unreasonably, see all this and decided that she doesn’t like me enough to risk getting murdered, and has done a runner, leaving me at the altar, but more importantly, leaving me trapped in a broken pre-rendered animation, so all I can do is stand there at the altar, staring at the space where my fiance was supposed to be, listening to the sounds of Lydia trying and failing to beat a cannibal to death behind me.
Okay, I think, clearly this wedding isn’t going to happen, I’m going to go for the registry office option and complete the wedding using the dev commands. I do this. The priest gives me a wedding ring, and I can finally move again. I chase after Shavee, who has an impressive turn of speed on her, and eventually catch up right by the city gates. I try to talk to her.
Apparently using the console has completed the wedding for me, but not for her, because she still only has the same 2 lines of dialogue she usually has.
Clearly this is working, I can’t leave my kids with someone who can only say 2 things and doesn’t even know she’s their mum, that’s irresponsible.
I try loading from inside the temple. I get the same problem.
Eventually I figure out that I need to use the dev controls to disable Lisbet’s entire existence in the universe.
Shavee and me get married. As the priest reads the vows, I stare at Shavee and wonder why she couldn’t even be bothered to put on a clean shirt. I wonder what kind of mother she’ll be.
Once the ceremony is over, and I’m happily married to the dirty green lizard of my dreams, and we’ve agreed that until I can make her recognise my extremely nice modded house exists I will share her single bed in the unheated flophouse in Windhelm she calls home, I re-enable Lisbet, because I’m worried I’ll forget if I leave it too long.
Fun fact about skyrim, it loads in quite a lot of npcs and objects by dropping them from the sky. I have no idea why this is the case, but it’s objectively the funniest way to load in objects.
I re-enable Lisbet. She falls from the sky, clips through the roof of the temple, and lands in the pew beside Lydia, stands up, draws a knife, and is immedately beaten unconcious.
I no longer care, because Shavee now has all the exciting new spouse-only romantic dialogue options like “Could you cook something for me” and “have you made any money lately”, and I know she’ll be a great mother.
I limp to the door of the temple, while around me the guests not involved in the Lydia-Lisbet murder cycle scream and duck for cover.
I open the door to the temple, immediately collapse and ragdoll down the steps, which is how I discover I am dying of rockjoint.
I limp to the orphanage down the street, adopt two kids, and then finally remember that I’m carrying garlic bread, which as we all know, cures all known illnesses.
When I emerge back into the street, full of the joys of motherhood and garlic bread, I find the town in disaray. Lydia is chasing Lisbet through the streets with an axe and a dragon is circling overhead, burning npcs to death. People are running for shelter, screaming, while the guards try to take down an entire dragon using only the worst bows and arrows in the game.
I decide that as a parent, I have to think of my own safety first and leave them to it.
I head out of the city, intent on returning home and figuring out why Shavee refuses to move in with me. A man hanging around the stables challenges me to a boxing match. For want of anything better to do, I agree.
Halfway through the fight he dodges at the wrong moment and I punch one of his horses in the head.
Two guards attack me while I desperately try to surrender. My kids will miss me, but I’m prepared to go to jail for my horse crimes, I’m an honest citizen. Also my horse crimes seem somewhat less important than the dragon.
The guards refuse to accept my surrender. I am stabbed to death. As I collapse in front of the indifferent horse, Lisbet exits the city, followed by Lydia. The last thing I see before I die is Lydia swinging her axe at Lisbet’s face.
Why are sharks all so good. How do they do that
LOVE is stored IN THE SHARK
Hi, is this the handwriting that you said you did for Crowley?
Nope -- it's the Holy Water in the 1860s. (The card above was done by a demonically hypnotised employee of the Rataway Pest Control Company.)
