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ā
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Today's Document

#extradirty

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Mike Driver
todays bird
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@breeofrah
IG : @emperorofmischief
@korattata
The call
A step by step process of this will be available at my Patreon on may 1stĀ š
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This.
This is why people who stay in my life are neurodiverse like me!
this!! I swear I lost like all my friendships bc of this, like I had a group of friends in hs that one day I realized āhuh I havenāt talked to this people in a whileā and popped in to say hi and they were all awkward?? because they hadnāt seen me in a while?? and thatās when I realized that friendship works different for them?? I was like yeah I havenāt talked to you in like four months but itās not like Iāve forgotten about y'all why would anything change, and they were all like we havenāt talked to you in four months why are you here again acting like nothing happened? and it was really confusing for me
YEAH! THAT!
Also I have a thing where I just put the people on pause. If I donāt see them or contact them, my brain kinda put them in stasis. I donāt think about them nor misses them, and I stay on what I last knew about them (how they look, what they study/work). So when we meet again Iām like āwait, youāve aged?ā and I have the same familiarity with them thanI had before.
Anyway all my mutuals I havenāt messaged in forever - this is why
oh my gods this makes so much sense??? there are people who i havenāt talked to at all for literally over a year and weāll pick up like nothing happened, but for their people itās just likeā¦ā¦ falling apart but onesided???? i think weāre still on the same level but actually weāre strangers??
Ohhhhhh
OHHHHHHHHHā¦.
Ok but listen, on the other side of this, as a person who moved hundreds of miles away from everyone i knew and then became a hermit for several years, it was SUCH A FUCKING RELIEF to get in contact with an old friend and have him be like, āmy friendship levels do not degrade, so in my mind we are still awesome close buddiesā and i almost fkn cried. I thought he would be mad or would have moved on because i had slacked on my reaching out to him and staying in touch and doing all the friendship things. But NOPE. 800 miles of distance, depression, and life changing circumstances didnt steal our friendship and i am SO GRATEFUL.
#came back to tumblr after four years #lottie and I immediately went like that spiderman meme yknow tags via @rudjedet
I have literally no friendship degradation whatsoever. I will not have spoken to someone for 5 years or more, and theyāre still as much a friend to me as if I had only seen them yesterday. Iām just very bad at communicating if someone is not in my direct orbit. So when Sonja reappeared on this site I basically screeched into her notes like a banshee because I was delighted and we picked straight back up where weād left off.
Happy to go on the record that I donāt expect regular contact and will welcome hearing from people after a long time
ā¦ā¦. I just realized why cons are such a huge deal in the hacker scene and why so many of us are ride or die for people we only see every 1-3 years.
āExcellent! I will see you for three days of hijinks and then not for two years! I love you!ā
Weāre only finding out recently that a lot of animals have colors and patterns that we cannot see because theyāre outside of our visual range. It calls to attention how much of the world we canāt experience because our senses are limited. When we shine UV lights on them, they glow pink or blue, but these are the colors that we CAN seeā¦. they could be a bunch of different colors, which we SEE as all pink. Itās also interesting to consider that most of these animals are not aware of having glowing patches on their bodiesā¦. isnāt it also possible that we have skin or hair patterns that were not aware of? . . (There is actually some research out there to support the idea that our own skin fluoresces as well and that there are gender differences in the pattern and glow.) Other places to see my posts: INSTAGRAM / FACEBOOK / ETSY / KICKSTARTER Ā Ā
Humans do have invisible stripes!Ā Theyāre called Blaschkoās Lines, formed asĀ skin cells divide at the embryonic stage.Ā Normally we canāt see them at all, though certain skin conditions follow those same lines.Ā
Apparently this is roughly what weād look like, if our eyes could see in a different spectrum:
Dunno about you, but I want to use this in a story someday.Ā Aliens can see our stripes and we canāt!Ā Magical transformations follow Blaschkoās Lines!Ā A subtle sign of lycanthropy is darker hair there!Ā Wizards are bald with that cool spiral on their heads!
Speculative fiction is so much more fun when you can speculate about something strange but true.Ā
THIS??? IS THE COOLEST???? SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY EVER??????????? AAAAAAAA THAT IS FLIPPING AWESOME!!!!!
Why would anyone want to consume it!?
I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.
I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how itās used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount Iām holding can lead to suffocation or even death. Itās found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.
We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers donāt even have to disclose their use of it in their products.
My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.
Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is thatā¦.when I am thirstyā¦there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down.
I. Fucking. Love. This.
This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works.
may our education be stronger than fake news
Amen.
To those who donāt get it:
āDihydrogen monoxideā is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O.
another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work
yup.Ā thatās a higher number alright.
āEveryone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has diedā
this literally changed my mood 180°
ITāS FACE WHEN IT POPS
<3_<3
LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIFUL CREATURES
every time I reblog this my sister sends me a message to the effect ofĀ āthank u for reposting that cat video on your tumblr i have seen it so many times but it delights me every time because their paws are so gentle and gracefulā
@pirate-patton
omg but like. roman and logan.
100 drones giving a light show!
Ā© 2019 Firefly Drone Shows, LLC
holy shit this is the fireworks of the futureā¦.. fireworks are so so bad for the environment and trigger people and make pets run away from home but THIS is such a great alternative it gives all the fun flashy lights without the smoke and the terrifying booms and the litter AND its more versatile and can do more fun things
Imagine someone from the 1500ās seeing this shit.
*sees this before my entire town gets wiped out by missiles*
Prompt
āAās dead.ā The roomās occupants all sigh and crumple down on the couch. C throws a handful of bills on the table and nudges B, who does the same.
A slams open the door and stumbles in, shaking the mud out of their hair. D hands them a warm towel, which A uses to wipe off the blood staining their face. āAre you guys seriously making bets on how long it takes for me to revive?ā
āYeah, and now I have money for some nachos. Suck it up, guys.ā
-Mod Vienna @see-through-stars
Roomba literally just sitting in a tub of water while Pepe holds down her towel.
You... called a cat Roomba?????
Yeah my boss forgot that I'm banned from naming cats. Roomba is blind and beeps a lot so she just kinda moves along until she hits a wall. She also grooms any cat she bumps into.
Op why are you banned from naming cats? Cuz naming that sweet little baby Roomba is fucking accurate af and hella cute
I have been banned SEVERAL times.
1.Ā i named a cat Potato.
i donāt see a reason to explain why i named him that.
2. i named my three-footed kitten Yardstick
3. i named this kitten Kickstand.Ā His leg was permanently stuck in that position, like a bikeās kickstand.Ā i mean, it was until it got amputated.
4. I named a kitten with many toes Terry Toetopolis.Ā also featuring Kickstand again.
5. i called a kitten ābastardā so many times that it was the only one heād respond to.Ā in my defense, he was 100% bastard.
6. a coworker and i had a game going to see how many kittens and cats we could name after harry potter characters before we were caught. (7.Ā the answer is 7.Ā āHedwigā is the name that got us caught)
i think thatās it, but i might be forgetting a few incidences.Ā
Good story op
remember, this is for a DOOR lock.
remember that when picking a DOOR lock, you have to apply a little bit of pressure to your tension wrench (the thing that you use to turn the knob). too little or too much and you wont be able to pick the door open. you can use anything for the tension wrench. a bobby pin. bits of wire. a paper clip. etc.
its best to be completely silent when youre picking locks bc theres this smallĀ āclickā when youre picking that you might miss if youre using headphones or listening to music.
.
if youre picking one of these
you jam something thin and long above one of the rotation dials and you push up on the shackle.
. if its one of these
you get yourself some shims. (or make one. you can make shims out of fucking soda cans), you wiggle them in the tiny space between the shackle and the body of the lock, and you pop these suckers open.
. for a chain deadbolt,
you get something flexible but sturdy and you just push this fucker down
. for one of these rotating combination locks
you can also shim this motherfucker open. jam your shims between the shackle and the body and pry it unlocked. if, for some reason, you dont wanna shim it open, maybe you dont have a shim or you just like a challenge, this bitch can be decoded ridiculously easy. heres what you do:
spin this bitch to the right about two or three times toĀ āresetā it. then you pull up on the shackle a bit, and turn it right slowly until you hear a click. your number is two spaces further. then you turn left 360 degrees until you land on the right number again, and start turning this motherfucker left until it stops. when it stops, turn right. if its loose, its the wrong number, keep going left. if its not loose, you have the right number, and you turn right all the way until this bitch pops
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now you know how to pick several common locks!!!!! congratulations!!!!
donāt mind me im just reblogging
Yall need to look up the Lock Picking Lawyer on YouTube too, heās amazing.
His videos are always so blazĆ©, like āhereās yet another fucking disappointing lock to pickā and heās so good.
@cackledaddy
just for your viewing interest
Completely innocent reblog
The most non suspicious reblog
Maggie has got some serious sea legs!
(via Kale Pixey)
Iām fuvking obsessed with this video
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@breeofrah
Orange ball!! ORANGE BALL!!
A gorgeous little puma cub checking out a wildlife camĀ
(via)
That takedownĀ
(via)