one black coffee

brittany - 25 - heavy metal lesbian scorpio sun, pisces moon, virgo ascendant i like drag queens, smokin blunts & spooky shit. this is my face

[writing-prompt-s]

You come to the realization that the tall metal fences surrounding the orphanage aren’t made to keep the children safe from the public, but to keep the public safe from what’s inside.

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

a child

[wlwellbutrin]

infuriating how men created, benefit from, and reinforce the diet culture that teaches women our worth is measured by our weight and yet men will also act like women’s sensitivity over our weight is just some weird chick thing they couldn’t possibly understand or extend empathy over

[wlwellbutrin]

absolutely the fuck not. you all are so stupid

[neyruto]

Cowboys are witches and horses are their familiars

[istillfuckwithdemilovato-deacti]

guns are their wands and they only know one spell (bullet)

[chazkuangshi]

“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”

-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut

[ephemeral-lightning]

Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this

[chazkuangshi]

I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing

so lady comes through drive thru. “Hi what can I get for you?” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?” “No” “Alright, you can pull up” and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?” I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice “Hi how are you today?” She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.” I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.” “I know what you meant. But it was rude.” “Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.” She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy) I’m like “… ok” So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do. “Hi, can I help you?” “Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.” “Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.” Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.” She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.” Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.” “Oh” Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?” Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.” Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?

So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss “And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.” boss goes “We don’t do that here.” “yea you do.” “No we don’t.” “yea you do.” “Have a good day.”

Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.

[lizardvvizard]

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

How many horsepower is 1 horse?

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

Okay logically it follows that a horse is 1 horse power but what’s the standard? Because horses aren’t the same

[fullmetalwindbreaker]

the average horse can produce almost 15 horsepower

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

[lesbianvenom]

mercutio was gay and i can prove it: he wasn’t a capulet or a montague , he just involved himself in the whole feud thing for the drama of it all

[aspergersprincess]

Auditory Processing Problems

• *someone says something* “what?” *repeats themselves* “sorry?” *repeats themselves again* “pardon?”

•"hey, y'see the red thing at the top of the shelf, will you get it?“ “Sorry, what?” “On the sh-” “oh yeah sure, I’ll get it.”

•*doesn’t hear teacher because someone’s pen is making a scratchy sound at the back of the room*

•*replays video 10 ten times to figure out what they’re saying*

•teachers asking, “why do you always stop writing in the middle of a sentence, just write down whatever I’m saying,” followed by the response, “I’m just processing it,” rebuked by, “we’ll stop processing it and just write.”

•*gets really focused on staring out the window and goes through four songs without hearing a single on*

[jaspurr]

someone is whispering to their friends in the library, you don’t even know who this person is but you know their major, what state they grew up in, and their hobbies during high school. you just wanted to find a quiet spot to do your chemistry homework.

wanting to chime in on other people’s conversations all the time, but don’t, because you’re not suppose to be “listening” to them.

being the only person in the house that can hear that awful buzzing sound certain electronics make

hiding in your room because everything is too loud. 

motorcycles were invented by satan

being told that you have dog-like hearing by friends and family

being yelled at for “not listening” by friends and family. 

[ossuariies]

God. God. God. God.

[horsescary]

leaving the table during a meal cause yiu can’t stand th noise of pepole eating

[play6irl]

[thug-gifs]

Reblog this within 10 seconds and unexpected extra money will cum to you this week

[thegreathamedebate]

The money will do what now

[weavemama]

HE. IS. A MONSTER

[weavemama]

1.3 million people in Puerto Rico are living off food stamps. 40% of people in Puerto Rico won’t be able to properly afford food in a humanitarian crisis. Let me repeat that for the people who are against financial help, 40% of people in Puerto Rico won’t be able to properly afford food in a humanitarian crisis.

[icaurus-deactivated20180206]

new name for lube

high fructose porn syrup

[tellyjpg]

i knew i should’ve stayed asleep

[bluegrasshole]

some of you have never had a customer service job and it shows

[hotdadcalendar-blog]

true as hell

[hubiewhitman]

AU where everything is exactly the same except instead of wanting to fuck Pennywise the clown y'all are normal functioning human beings

[hubiewhitman]

I fucking hope so 

[coffins]

im gay sun bitch moon ugly rising thats all you have to know

[brittanywartooth]

millennial: *doesnt open a door for a boomer*

boomer: chivalry is DEAD, common courtesy is A THING OF THE PAST, i remember when RESPECT was AUTOMATIC and people werent SELFISH, the current generation is AWFUL and IMPOLITE

millennial: so slurs are bad and people deserve basic human rights

boomers: umm,,,, sweetie,,,,, tjhe real world,,,,, isnt gonna cater to your stupid baby needs,,,,, grow a spine,,,,, welcome to reality,,,,,,,

[primitivisms]

im in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell

[adamscottblog]

Good Tidings Fellow Male : A Modern Guide to Man to Man Greetings

GQ Magazine

October 2017