lauren's shit

now a personal blog ay lmao

[istanbul-not-constantinople]

behold…

absolute unit

[istanbul-not-constantinople]

[wewerealltoblame]

did you know that Friday 13th was meant to be a really good lucky day meant for fucking because it was dedicated to Freyja, the goddess of love and fertility and the patron goddess of Fridays

but then Christianity found out about it and were like “Fucking???? outside of marriage????? NO NO NO!!!” and decided it was a horrible terrible bad unlucky day and you need to be super careful of everything you do in case you die or some shit.

so thanks Christians for ruining everyone’s fucking fun

[greatlordfluffernutter]

Petition to bring back Friday the FUCKteenth.

[goodgamegrumps]

[shaddydraws]

gUYS-

[neckkiss]

SKAM (2015)

[thoodleoo]

careers that i am looking into:

harpy

beautiful and unattainable nymph who scorns the advances of men and gods alike

witch who turns men into pigs

[despazito]

HOOTHOOT HAS TWO FEET??

[cadysu]

[despazito]

i feel like a european explorer who just learned that birds of paradise have legs

[moniquill]

[jpechacek]

Nobody called me but I showed up anyway.

[we-are-guildmaster]

[sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2]

[probsjosh]

What the hell even is the this post

[goys2men]

It’s the sins of humanity crying out to be known

[abutterflyobsession]

me: I will do things when I am less tired

me: *never becomes less tired*

me: oh no

[soupdrag0n]

[Softly but with a lot of feeling] fuck

[dal-selfships]

oh to be a bored prince who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener boy

[equalitymeanseveryonethesame-de]

oh to be a cute gardener boy who secretely places roses in the prince's room because he is in love with him

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

Oh to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener boy up the wall for his secret deliveries in the middle of the night

[probablycthulhu]

Oh to be the palace maid who leaves the prince’s window unlocked so the Gardner boy can discreetly come into his room

[explicitcherry]

[kristina100000]

sorry for being so sexy i dont know whats wrong with me

[lonelyroommp3]

the other day i was perusing the dessert options in the dining hall and this group of absolute stereotypical frat boy types were also milling around the desserts and one of them pointed to the strawberry pastries and said to the others “what’s the vibe with these, boys?” and i haven’t been able to get that sentence out of my head since

[celestiyal-deactivated20201022]

same energy

[ezk03]

-

[hktk04]

bless y’all

[hktk02]

bonus:

[creativeronica]

Being in Pain. Expends. Energy.

[jennytwoshoes]

A friendly reminder for those of us who do very little during the day (by “normal” standards) but are still exhausted

Your body is literally fighting the pain. Fighting takes energy

[randomslasher]

…oh…

[maaarine]

Soraya Chemaly: The power of women’s anger

[dankmemeuniversity]

[apathetic-revenant]

demon: YOU HAVE SUMMONED ME, MORTAL. WHAT DEAL DO YOU WISH TO STRIKE WITH THE POWERS OF HELL?

roomba: [is a roomba]

demon:

roomba:

demon:

roomba:

demon: man c’mon you gotta work with me here a little bit

[spangelbanger]

Demon: *gives Roomba sentience* : now, what do you want?

Roomba: what are you doing? Get off my floor. I just vaccumed there.

[powderwell]

no offense but the sooner you all realise cringe culture is like, thinly veiled superiority complex and targets almost exclusively young people or people who aren’t neurotypical, the better

[trashcanalienist]

Oral stimming, baby! Tag yourself, I'm chaotic evil, true neutral, chaotic good, and occasionally lawful neutral if I'm not paying enough attention (metal tastes Bad, oof)

[52tx]

WHERE IS CHEWING ON RUBBER