liv

[infectiouspiss]

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

[thegenderdruid]

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed

[live-long-and-pasta]

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[tyrian-red]

my erotic fanfiction is more historically accurate than yours. here it claims that shes moaning 'yes,' however classical latin didn't have a word that corresponds to Modern English 'yes,' i.e. an affirmative answer to an interrogative. You could have easily avoided this glaring implausibility by allowing her to moan plus, 'more'—as exemplified in my critically acclaimed fic with an unprecedented number of kudos (eleven). I recommend that you log out of AO3 and return only after acquiring satisfactory knowledge of the subject matter.

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[creatureprofessor]

i love when museums have near exact replicas of their displayed objects for you to buy. haha 15th century ceramic cup you are in my possession

[bitextualdisaster]

Went to a museum exhibit once that had this little guy

10/10, give me tiny replicas of animal statues that I am encouraged to pat as part every exhibit ever please

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

[one-time-i-dreamt]

WHAT

[ririazul]

[myleftpinkytoe]

Oh, i remember this! No truck fucking, but also hard to explain...?

Basically, a lot of truckers feel VERY attached to their trucks, to the point where it's common for truckers to refer to them as their "first baby".

So, knowing this, this trucker's wife organised a photoshoot where her husband's "first baby" got to meet his "second baby". Kind of like those pregnancy photoshoots with dogs?

He thought it was great, and they shared it on social media trucker groups. In a turn i would not expect, a lot of other truckers got really emotional about it. Like, grown men cooing over a stranger's pregnancy photoshoot, going to their wives and asking if they can do something similar 🥺🥺🥺. All in all, strangely wholesome???

[fruitcakebro]

Ohhhh, the truck is the big brother :)

[feldfrog]

Some people can rotate a cube in their mind. I can rotate multiple cubes. In my stomach. I swallowed some dice

[girltalk]

there are still so many beautiful moments waiting for you

[demilypyro]

cog in the machine: thats sad

ghost in the machine: thats complicated

cock in the machine: dont do that

[gumy-shark]

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

[elliespectacular]

anyone know if rubik is like, problematic? do we still fw his cube?

[clowncarfullofrats]

[milanesa42]

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

[matineaux-deactivated20260222]

kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc

[hi-im-ryn]

[gem-andromeda]

[shutinthenutouse]

[wajb]

ragebaiting lemonade stand owner with one simple order