Each year I write a roundup of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. Our church staff fills out brackets and we have a little friendly competition. This is the summary: winners, losers, and the rest of us. : LSF Staffers, Stuffers, and Stiffers, It was three hours before game time as we stood under a Mercedes Benz Dome awning in the rain. In the 15 minutes it'd take us to go the 50 feet to the entrance, we managed to relive Laettner's "Shot," Butler's stunners, and Calipari's scandals. After a quick frisking and ticket scan, we were off to Section 314 Row 16 to actualize childhood dreams -- Watching the NCAA Championship Game. Upon getting snuggled into our seats three hours before game time, we realized that we were there 3 HOURS BEFORE GAME TIME!!! What the...!!! So we relaxed our eyebrows that were jacked up a mile high and smiles that were as amped and awkward as a Jr. High dance as we tried to figure out what to do with ourselves. As the seats filled, the atmosphere began to buzz -- louder and louder. The smell of popcorn and plastic cheese began to fill the arena. Teams ran onto the court, highlight videos lit up the jumbo-tron, lineups were announced, and the ball was tipped. The NCAA Men's College Basketball Championship was underway. And WOW! Kentucky was good! These Wildcats were wild, cats. Up and down the court like the NASDAQ on a spreadsheet. Swatting balls from the rim the way a cow's tail swats flies from it's rear. Running at a pace of New York City and controlled as the pace of Rigdon, IN. Young and active like the freshmen they are, yet matured like the seniors they never will be. Kansas played from behind the way most men do in Marriage Class. And as we've all seen time and again, that doesn't work out too well. As soon as the wife grabs the mic, tells her side, wins over the predominantly female audience, and buries her passive man under scar-filled Memory Lane, all that's left is for Pastor to pull out his sword and finish him off. That's EXACTLY what happened to the Jayhawks. From the tip, it was evident Kentucky had the mic and was not giving it up. Kansas, the husband, tried furiously at the end to string together a couple stops, a few baskets, and desperate 3-pointers, but the damage had been done. It was too little too late. The wife won again. The husband was panting, reeling, and defeated. So where does that leave us as we meandered through Bracketville this past month? Having the cellar position these past few seasons locked up tighter than Fort Knox, and the LSF front office, Pastor Jon holds steady in last place with 51 points. One thing is for sure, he will never be faulted for lack of enthusiasm or promptness in turning in his bracket. His "always digital copy" is the first to be printed and first to be "filed." A former champ, like many great boxers, like all great horses, has to hang up the gloves or head out to pasture at some point. Dr. Ron is no stranger to the winner's circle, however, he does find himself in qaunfamiliar territory this year. The pouncer lost his punch, the stud lost a step, and the Dr. lost his license. His hypothesizing has slipped. But instead of ridicule, let's have compassion. He needs us all at this devastating time of his career. Dr. Ron finished with 53. Impressing no one but himself, he patted his back as he turned in his bracket. He rejoiced. We yawned. He applauded. We turned the pages of the newspaper. If you all remember one of the Core Values of Brock's Bracketeering, it's this: NEVER listen to Dicky Z. He had as hard of time with his picks as a kid spreading frozen butter on freshly baked bread. With every stroke of the knife another tear was ripped through his mangled dough. Tough times is saying it gently. Dicky Z stares at his 59 points of crumbs left from his tattered piece of bread. While Alissa lost the Bracketology, she won the "BROCKetology" by a landslide. Picking IU to come out of the South was better than any Valentine's Day card ever written. Picking Indiana as the Champion was a little ambitious even in my biased opinion, but she went all the way with the Hoosiers. She ends with 61. The Tiny Tulip, the Small Wall, the Poquito Princess, Ms. Carol comes up next. In years past it'd be nothing for her to be inching toward the triple digit on the scoreboard. This, however, is not past years. Missouri provided misery, Duke provided dookie, and Ms. Carol was left with 68 points. The man who i questioned in the first rounds brought answers in the Sweet 16. Rapidly gaining on the leaders, Fast Eddie came raging back. His championship picks were Kentucky and Syracuse. Syracuse fell just short of the Final Four, but Kentucky rallied Ed more points. Nevertheless, with all that said, he still rolled up just short with 77. Being a man of tradition and consistency does not always serve me well. I've fallen under the Syracuse spell the last 3 years. From Big East games to tournament stunners, I've drank the Orange Crush elixir and walked in the Bohemian Boeheim stride. What a bunch of stiffers! I finished with an unimpressive 82 points. Like every good, or bad, Presidential election, there is a front man leading in the polls today and then drops out of the race tomorrow. Take our friend Joey for instance. He led the brackets through the first few rounds. But picking wrong favorites, mis-picking upsets, and occasionally picking his nose, he slid down the poll like a lubricated fireman. Joseph ended with 83. Last year's Champion made another impressive run for the roses. Jane was the last woman standing in this male-infested finish. Proving once again that she has what it takes to stick in this race for the long-haul, Jane tallied 83 points. In his opening debut, Michael showed his constituents that he was in it to win it. Being one of the first to break into the 90s, Michael held serve all the way until the championship game. His pick of Kentucky propelled him into the final three. Had the first and second place participants picked another champ, Michael would have reigned supreme in his freshman attempt. He proudly stands with 90. Whether it was Tarik picking (which we know isn't likely) or Rafeek (a young Aaron Rogers look-a-like) this father/son duo just about took the whole ball of wax. Kentucky, again, was the right pick for this African-American-Egyptian tandem. Rafeek may have a future in Vegas, Bristol, or as the successor of the Bracketology U. Coming in just 2 points short, they finished up with 94. Andddddddd nooooooooowww, for this yeaaaaar's, LSF, Basketball-Bracket-Buster Champion mpion pion ion!!!! Ladiesssss and gentlemen lemen emen en, please direct your attention to the center court. The man with as many names as Babe Ruth, as many titles as the Yankees, and more fans than them both, Pastor Bishop Reverend Minister Teacher Prophet Priest Planter King Sage Cowboy Lover Ronald Dean Johnson, Sr. can add another label onto his unforgettable legacy. In this past decade, he's put up with a lot of my verbal bashing and trashing when it came to his bracket and racket. But this being our Tenth Annual LSF Bracket-Buster, it is time to give his his due. Dick and Ed, for one year, must bow to the King of the Court, kiss the scepter, and withhold talking smack until they arise with a better Bracket to boast than the Great Bambino. Riding the Wildcats all the way to their Ol' Kentucky home, Pastor Sr. wins it all with 96 points. To all the Saints and all the Aints, to all the Contenders and all the Pretenders, this has been Brock's Basketball Bracket Buster, bringing March Madness a little closer to home. March On! :: You can follow Brock on Twitter @brock_meyer http://tinyurl.com/88uo4ww
