The Most Realistic Bucket List:
Since my health seems to just be leaning towards failing and this time it doesn’t seem like I’ll bounce back, I’m putting together a quick bucket list in no particular order. If you know who I am, please don’t put this info up anywhere on my main blogs, or public accounts. Thank you.
(May add more later)
1: see an owl saw a Snow Bunting! AND SAW AN OWL!!!
2: take one more really good photo and be proud of it regardless if other people like it
3: make sure I’m around at least long enough to keep Noodle comfortable in her old age. (So take the barf med.) —doing my best and taking my meds!
4: make something creative that mom really likes didn’t make it myself but two years of searching and I finally found the right thing for her. ♥️
5: provide as much comfort to her and Noodle as possible. Which means doing more even if it hurts —working on it as much as I can!
6: do more Google earth traveling since we can’t really travel. Fuck running out of internet data.
7: eat Brie it hurt me insides
8: draw what I really feel like drawing not only stuff for other people I did. :)
9: read the books. Read them — work in progress
10: I want to see the ocean again
11: plant milkweed planted!
12: carve something out of wood
13: I want a churro -can’t the cinnamon allergy took off
14: I really want to see a whale
15: draw one really awesome book cover for any book, any fanfic, anything. Got a book cover job completed!
16: write. Literally anything. I wrote a thing/ am writing a thing.
17: be cheerful. No one wants to hear about the negative stuff in your life anymore. Tell them only good things faking till I make it (aka die)
18: get your permit/license Jfc —got my permit!
19: go out more. Fuck it. Waste gas going to the lake or whatever went and saw THREE lakes.
20: remember to say I love you to friends and don’t let trauma get in the way.
21: find the perfect gift for Q. It has to be possible. maaaybe did it? Might have?
22: allow myself to stim like I actually need to to feel comfort
23: buy noise canceling headphones and actually use them for when noise is too much DONE! Thanks to a very kind friend who helped me out ♥️
24: see if I can help my mom quit smoking one more time.
25: make her her favorite samosas I FUCKING DID IT YALL
26: buy a small grill and grill some fucking zucchini finally! Life long dream!! GRILL BOUGHT -no grilling happened yet
27: let go of the biggest dreams/wants. They can’t happen. Let it go. —This is an ongoing process.
28: feed a bird from my hand again. DID IT
29: write summery endings for all my unfinished fanfics IN PROGRESS!
30: see the northern lights properly I finally got to see them! (As clearly as possible for where I am.)
31: have a lobster roll with butter Can't eat shellfish anymore so poop.
32: WE WANT TO GO TO HAWAII 😭 No can do. Hawaii has respectfully said No.
33: genuinely feel proud of myself for stuff I’ve done
34: try to find an rv for my mom. Even a rental.
35: Get lost in the woods for a bit
36: accept that some things are not in my capacity to fix, or even improve. Finally having some progress with this one.
37: fly a drone zoom zoom
38: Want to swim in a warm ocean.
39: spend as much time with my cat as I can
40: Let go of the fear of dying and leaving nothing of substance behind.
41: try something new and let myself enjoy it. I did! It was fun. :)
42: Complete my 100 positive post queue on tumblr dot com canceled due to tumblr fucking up
43: I’d like to really laugh again and/or really make someone laugh
44: eat an apple pie one more time i did it! Allergies be damned
45: Figure out how to say goodbye properly
46: Find a place for all my printed comics and hard drive of art
47: Dress as I really feel, without feeling the need to ‘pass’ as a gender
48: Make something out of clay
49: take more photos/videos of my family
50: tell at least one past asshole doctor to go fuck themselves
51: See 100 bird species in a year. I saw 102!
