pickledtoast submitted: My issues with the abortion debate
[I know that this is not the typical pro-choice story that you post, but I think that these issues are worth mentioning]
I am 100% prochoice. That’s pretty obvious if you browse through my tumblr. For me it’s as simple as “My body, My choice and Your body, Your Choice”. However there is some language used by both pro-lifers and pro-choicers that really bothers me.
1.  Mother – Mother is an identity, and we should all be able to choose how we identify. When pro-lifers force that identity on someone who doesn’t want it, I get pissed. When pro-choicers fight back by saying that a person isn’t a mother until they give birth, I also get pissed. If you are pregnant and you identify as a mother, then you are a mother. If you raise someone else’s children and you identify as a mother, then you are a mother. If you lose a pregnancy to miscarriage or stillbirth, or lose your baby just after birth and you identify as a mother, then you are a mother. If you have an abortion, and you identify as a mother, then you are a mother. If you do any of the things listed above, or even give birth to a healthy baby, and don’t identify as a mother, then you aren’t a mother. So let’s quit this shit of forcing on or denying people the identity of “mother”.
2.  Baby – Pro-lifers love to throw around the term “baby” to give the blastocyst, embryo or fetus a sense of value, just like pro-choicers love to throw around the phrase “just a clump of cells” to give it less value. Why don’t we cut that shit out too, and let the pregnant people decide the value of the contents of their womb? Yes, a baby is an infant, and therefore cannot be a baby until it is born. But if you’ve willingly given up part of your body to an embryo or fetus, and you’ve cared for it to the best of your ability, then you have every right to call it your baby. Anyone who wants to debate terminology with you can fuck off. Likewise, if you do not want to be pregnant, and the pregnancy has no value to you, then no one has the right to demand that you’ve got a baby in there. While everyone knows that pro-lifers use the term “baby” inaccurately, I would argue that pro-choicers sometimes use the phrase “just a clump of cells” inaccurately too. I mean, it’s pretty vague, but to me, something with a heartbeat is no longer “just a clump of cells”.
3. Woman/women – people who do not identify as women can get pregnant. Let’s not erase their existence and experiences by only using the term woman. “Person” or “pregnant person” are both really easy substitutes for “woman”, and they are far more inclusive.
4. “It’s the only humane thing to do” – I hear this frequently when someone has an abortion due to birth defects. They do it because they don’t want their child to suffer/ they don’t want to watch their child suffer. That’s totally fine. But people who choose to carry those pregnancies to term are not somehow doing something inhumane. – and on the subject of birth defects, let’s try not to get all ableist when justifying the abortion of a fetus with a birth defect.  1. You don’t need to justify an abortion. If someone wants one, they should have one, regardless of the reason. 2. When people imply that it only makes sense to abort a “defective” fetus, they’re being ableist and not at all pro-choice. Same goes for pregnancies that threaten the pregnant person’s life or health– there is no right or wrong choice – there is only the pregnant person’s choice.
I originally posted a version of this on my tumblr, and have added a few things, but I’m sure that I still missed a few issues. However, the main point is, we should be listening to the actual pregnant people and how they feel about their own pregnancies – BECAUSE THAT MATTERS SO MUCH MORE THAN AGENDAS AND PROPOGANDA!
 P.S. This was not a “both sides are just as bad” post, for anyone who might have mistaken it for that. Trying to force someone to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term will always be worse than trying to ensure that people have a right to make choices about their own bodies.
