Toxic Optimism

Taylor|27|She/Her| Only the Creamiest Memes™ tbh I’m never on here Twitter is hockeyyelling come fight me

[charmcoin]

one fun thing about living in the midwest is that they're selling pigs on facebook marketplace. 300 dollars could buy me a new and interesting problem

[gayvampyr]

shoutout to boring queer people who don’t do shit. just go to work or school and then come home to watch shows. while gay

[whatsnewalycat]

[my-random--thoughts-deactivated]

[grosezero]

[creepymutelilbugger]

[dateamonster]

one thing about me is that im a wiggler. you can count on me to squirm. even writhe, when the occasion calls for it.

[imakeficrequestsandthendisappear]

if cis people are so great then why don’t they have a siberian orchestra 

[palm-top-tiger-deactivated20240]

girls love playing with...That Thang....

[hamptercatapult]

[angelfish114]

I love men. I'm half man myself on my dad's side

[pigeoncircus]

spooky cats & pumpkins 🎃 🐈‍⬛ 🍂

[cataclysmcrows]

my favorite lyric of radioactive is “this is in the apocalypse” like thank you mr dragons for clarifying the setting so clearly i was getting confused i really appreciate it

[cataclysmcrows]

post cancelled apparently i have something called “auditory processing disorder”

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: #king i think its 'this is it, the apocalypse' /End ID]

[rivertigo]

makes me so mad that I’ll never be able to open up some guys rib cage and just stick my hands in his organs and move em around while he moans and whimpers. imagine getting your prostate grabbed from the inside. must feel crazy

[podcastwizard]

you just don't get this kind of stuff on twitter

[shitpostinguniverse]

[deafmic]

a couple weeks ago, someone called and left a message on my team's phone at work. this was a phone number that he should not have been able to find and which isn't actually manned. we are an IT team and have the number to keep our team zoom account. so no one picks it up, but every time someone leaves a message, everyone on the team gets an email with the transposed text.

this man left a 7 minute long message with my tech team about how he wanted a job in our sales department.

in it, he called himself a savage no less than 12 times. he spent most of the 7 minutes talking about how well he closes deals and sells. he left this message over the weekend. in it, he said the words "i'm a beast, i'm a killer" multiple times, which i now can't seem to get out of my vocabulary. i say it literally every day and i can't explain it because it's like a personal meme.

my team actually found this message so fucking funny that we immediately found the sales team recruiter and got him over there. we all dearly hope that he gets hired so we can meet him. he's like a celebrity to us. he's a beast. a killer even.

[thatsbelievable]

[sapropel]

Stop pussy footing around it. Are you coming to my Chinese giant salamander's bar mitzvah or not