Buddypallady @buddypallady - Tumblr Blog

he didn't end up completing it at the end either.

i feel like shane probably avoids most caffeine during the season to avoid potential crashes (i could be convinced to like. a strict adherence to one cup of tea/coffee a day for the benefits outside of caffeine and one little pressure relief valve of indulgence when he's not in a place where he's being WILDLY strict with himself)

but it does make me laugh to imagine that like. he still likes the comfort and routine of A Warm Beverage In The Morning, especially to have to take with him to the rink since he'll be out in the cold. so he will have hot broth in his travel mug and just sip it like a coffee.

which is all well and good until ilya (who was taking care of anya) didn't actually see that shane didn't put coffee in his mug the way he did ilya's one of their first mornings in the season, so he doesn't want to bother getting up for his in the locker room, grabs shane's instead (because also to Lovingly Annoy), only to take a sip and fucking GAG because he was expecting unsweetened coffee not whatever the FUCK he just got pranked with.

"shane!! what the fuck is in here!"

"bone broth???"

"WHY ARE YOU DRINKING SOUP, SHANE?"

"who told you to drink *my* drink??"

"THIS IS NOT A DRINK, HOLLANDER. YOU ARE DRINKING *SOUP*!"

"it's not soup! it's broth!"

"is a TRICK!! why is this in a coffee cup, shane???"

*eyeroll* "just because it's CALLED a coffee mug doesn't mean-"

meanwhile the other players are just ??? you guys okay??? not knowing yet that they WILL manage to find a way to fuck about this later, don't worry.

it also means that the cutesy matching really nice travel mugs they get from rose as a playful christmas gift means ilya is now CONSTANTLY watching which one is his each morning.

he will NOT get surprise souped again.

he will NOT.

avidcollectorofdust

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot

bruzum

wenlokholmes

sorry, prev, your tags are too true to be silenced

penandinkprincess

shane and ilya probably stick to a very similar sleeping schedule during the season, but i feel like shane starts getting ready for bed probably a little earlier than ilya because he likes sitting in bed and reading

and i'm laughing about ilya feeling absolutely BETRAYED the first time anya hops off of his lap to trot after shane up to their room

his OWN DAUGHTER-

ilya, she just likes our bed and knows i'm going up

-TO BETRAY HIM LIKE THIS, AFTER EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE-

dude, you could also just come upstairs if you're that fucking bothered about it

-NO LOYALTY IN THIS HOUSE. NONE. ALL AROUND HIM ARE TRAITORS-

you could doomscroll on your phone upstairs if you want, ilya. you're the one choosing to hang out on the couch. c'mon, anya.

penandinkprincess

ilya trying to tell himself he wants to stay down on the couch and not give shane the satisfaction of giving in but also experiencing MAJOR fomo because the rest of his family is already upstairs for the night

gatekeepslay

LMFAOOOO #real

verlierer-is-lost

Shane waiting for practice to start in like 2006

swagsmeister

rookie and his captain

doubleflowered

maya and edgeworth doodle + tiny comic I made on a whim. Ahhh I am so so so normal about these two 🥹 I think it's such a maya thing to do to give her friends friendship bracelets

oneheadtoanother

tachyon-log

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

fishmech

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

bunniope

can we focus on the gnome for a second

bunniope

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

ladyofspoons

these are the people i have to share a highway with

cottagehillsunset

Ilya who, whenever Jurrasic Park or any sort of dinosaur movie is on, takes a picture of the TV and sends it to Scott Hunter with a "good game" or "did not kow you were playing tonight".

Scott just lets out a long sigh everytime and counts to ten in his head.

He ends up on the same flight to New York as Shane after an away game in Ottawa, with Scott going back home and Shane travelling for the launch of a new Rebook store in New York.

And Scott can't help but laugh when he sees what the in flight movie options are. At Shane's curious look he waves at the small tv screen and explains the bit Ilya has going on. And Shane, just for a second, gets this weird glint in his eyes before offering Scott one of his earbuds with a smile.

"Want to rewatch the game with me instead?", he asks, holding up his IPad. And, why the hell not, Scott thinks, there are worse things than reviewing their game with Shane (even though he doubts Shane will share any of his strategical thoughts with him).

So, Scott takes the earbud and settles into his seat. Only to be hit with the opening notes of Jurrasic Park five seconds in.

cottagehillsunset

Hollanov daughter who has trouble sleeping and nothing seems to work. She's been fed and changed and carried and burped and sung to but their baby girl just keeps crying and it breaks both of their hearts.

Which leads to Shane calling his Dad at like 11 PM. And David just hears a soft "Dad" in Shane's trembling voice and he's out of bed, no questions asked. "I'll be over in twenty minutes, bud", he promises as he grabs his car keyes.

Both boys look absolutely wrecked when he enters their house twenty minutes later, hair a mess, dark circles under their eyes, clothes with tear stains. So David just nodds to himself. "Alright, let's go for a drive", he says, calm and steady, as he ushers the three of them to his car, both Shane and Ilya too tired to protest. He makes sure they're both strapped in on the back seats, their daughter secure in Ilya's arms, before pulling out of the driveway.

Not even ten minutes into the drive everyone on the backseat is sound asleep. Turns out the driving trick works wonders on Hollander-Rozanovs of all ages.

fleabagsversion

“Rachel sees Shane as the woman of the relationship so she had him sacrifice his career, and move to Ottawa with a huge salary cut, just so he could be with his husband”

Oh to be Shane Hollander, winner of three Stanly Cups, an Olympic silver medal and at least one MVP, who is still getting paid millions to play for fucking Ottawa (besides all the sponsorship and real estate money). And oh, he is also married to the other best hockey player in the league, who happens to be really fucking hot and has many accolades to his name. By the way, they will be inducted in the Hockey Hall of Fame together.

If this is what it means to give up one’s career and end up in a small town with a huge salary cut, just so I could stay with my husband, then sign me up.

sweetladyjustice

Thank you @zouisalmightie for being the most correct person in the world.

rainbow-femme

Everyone sees a post-retirement Shane meltdown coming a mile away unless they find something to fill the hockey shaped hole in his brain, and someone casually throws out Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Shane figures well why not, can’t hurt to go to one class and see how it feels

He goes in and immediately, day one, gets his ass absolutely handed to him. Slammed to the ground, choked out, beat to shit, no rest no mercy the entire time and he LOVES it. Getting pushed and tested, needing to figure out strategy, fully working his muscles and getting thrown around. He comes home bruised and sore and can’t wait to go back

Ilya isn’t super sure at first about his husband getting recreationally beat up, especially after going to a practice early on and getting nauseous from watching people choking Shane and purposely putting him in so much pain he’s forced to tap out. The spouse of another person at the gym says to wait a few months before trying to watch again

But after a while he starts regularly hearing Shane laughing and Anya happy barking from other parts of the house, and walking in to find the two playfully wrestling around. Or when they watch the Pike kids they all want turns to get flipped around and wrestled by uncle Shane

And then of course one day Shane texts Ilya saying he wants Ilya to help him learn a triangle submission, and he adds a winky face and Ilya is just ??? Ok? I guess? But then he looks one up and well. That sure. Uh. That sure would be his husbands big strong sweaty thighs locked around his head and you know maybe he shouldn’t be too hasty to judge this hobby

Very soon Ilya is looking up moves for them to “practice” and he starts to see the appeal of his big strong husband being able to manhandle him and also anyone else. When he finally goes to watch another practice he sees Shane taking down guys six inches taller and fifty pounds heavier with ease and no actually so sorry they can’t go out to eat with everyone afterwards he needs to get his hot sweaty husband home immediately

The hockey world struggles to hide how pissed they are the first time Shane wins a tournament because of course he can’t retire normally and had to go and become the best at something else, specifically something that means he could beat the shit out of any of them if he wanted