okay sit with me for a moment. buck gets hurt but it looks scarier than it actually is; he just got a little bit electrocuted. still, it’s the first really close call of his on the job and he’s a bit shaken up. it’s all good though because captain diaz is right there. he makes sure buck’s fine, checks him out up and down and sideways, and then waits for him to be checked out again at the hospital, just in case. it’s late when they’re done and buck’s kind of falling asleep while standing up, so captain diaz offers to help him get home. turns out buck’s apartment is kind of empty and sad but there’s a mattress in the middle of it, and captain diaz is helping him strip before he even realizes his hands have made their way to buck’s belt buckle. it doesn’t even start off as something sexual but the more skin is being revealed, the heavier buck’s breathing gets, the less it is about helping buck out and the more it becomes about owning him. feeling him alive and warm and close. it’s like the line between destroying buck and consuming him and making him come doesn’t exist; it’s like there’s never been one to begin with. they’re both exhausted but they still end up fucking the night away, fall asleep in each other’s arms at dawn, and when buck wakes up captain diaz is gone. there’s a note on buck’s half-assembled dresser that says ‘take the rest of the week off. ordered you some groceries. check in later.’ they don’t talk about it when buck comes back to work but captain diaz claps him on the shoulder and squeezes for a bit too long like he’s trying to apologize for something that buck’s begged him to do. and that’s how it’s supposed to go, buck guesses. whatever happened that night… it’s not worth ruining their lives for. buck’s there to learn, he feels like he belongs for the first time in his life, and captain diaz has kind of made it clear that it could never go any further. buck might still have a lot of figuring shit out to do but he’s going to respect that; he’s going to respect him. and he really, really tries to. he keeps his distance but doesn’t alienate himself, makes sure it doesn’t look weird. buck’s still being himself but not too much, makes sure his hands never linger, remembers not to stare too much. and it works out, it’s all good, they’re good, and captain diaz seems relieved every single time buck smiles at him, but then— then buck gets sick. or thinks he does but the nausea and bloating just won’t pass, and eventually someone on the team notices. buck can’t really say no when captain diaz sends him off to get all the possible tests done, stern look and a clap on the back that lasts a beat too long, and all.
